Traumatic, Sudden Loss

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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28.

A proof of love 13 Replies

I just have a simple question...Is a headstone proof of how much a person was loved?Continue

Started by Toni Jones. Last reply by Christine Jun 3.

Loosing my father unexpectadly 1 Reply

Hi i lost my dad just over 2 months ago now and its harder and harder everyday for me to cope. He was run over by a car on his way to my house and just a house over is where he was found i cant get…Continue

Started by Dawn Mohi. Last reply by John Barry May 9.

book 6 Replies

no 1 giv us a book on way we deal on loss we do it way we doContinue

Started by JO B. Last reply by JO B Apr 25.

Comment Wall


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Comment by Jackie cooke on May 4, 2017 at 11:47am
Thing is how do we know what they'd want, I know they'd want us to be happy and not be in pain, but then they would be the same if we'd died, I don't think Shirl would expect me to just carry on, she would know I be in bits. I don't think she will be happy without me either, trouble is we do have a choice but it's being brave enough to make it, which is scarier, living this life alone for years and years or taking a quick get out and hopefully being reunited.
Comment by Jerry on May 4, 2017 at 7:17am

Life is so weird, like a totally different dimension, different planet, out of the world. It's like I transparently spectate in this new life with every thought having to pass through a barrier wall of my beloved. I miss her so much, and just keeping clicking off the days as I get them, knowing some day I won't have to do this anymore, but no clue as to when, so, as she would want, make it work the best you can, you have no (good) choice.

Comment by Jackie cooke on May 4, 2017 at 4:41am
Each day is getting worse, it's coming up to 8 weeks, how how have I survived 8 weeks without holding, talking,laughing,speaking, 8 months of hell and pain and knowing this is my future.
I can't go on like this, I really don't see the point. People say I am coping well,Ffs! I'm doing only what has to be done, I'm crying all the time, even when working. I can't eat or sleep. I hate being in bed as its a huge empty space. I can't afford to stay in our home but how the hell can I sell it, so I just do nothing. I have poisonous people trying to hurt me more,that makes me laugh as if anything can hurt more than this, they can send their solicitors letters I just burn them. Nothing in all my 52 years has prepared me for this pain.
Comment by karen stephenson on April 20, 2017 at 11:11pm
Just lost my best friend to a sudden death. I am lost and desolate with grief. Don't know how I can go on now.
Comment by nicole rae on April 12, 2017 at 10:29am

its nice that someone would call and ask how you are, however they nor you should expect a timeline on "feeling better", its been five years for me since the suicide and it still feels like yesterday. The only people who will understand are those who have experienced the same. It is not the same kind of grief when its a suicide or an unexpected death that happened tragically or in a way that scars you forever. Give yourself some room to breathe and anyone who infiltrates your energy with negativity needs to be distanced from. It took me a year or three to deal with "the others" and I call them that because now its simply two groups those who understand and "the others" who don't. Sending love and positive thoughts to all of you, focus on one day at a time, that's all you need to do.

Comment by JO B on April 9, 2017 at 5:17pm

for me over 5 yrs i no n hear notimlimet hw long we grief cud be 10 yrs or 00 100 yrs we cud still gruef we cud 

im still not me lady iwz in 2012 she died 2 wen her dad died thn multi loss non 2 evry loss bit of me died 2 

im a crash u cud say im nt a survir im not me ill never be me evr agan 

no 1 wote a rule bok on hw we shud gref

Comment by Lisa Maria DeMatto- Wysong on April 9, 2017 at 5:09pm

Jackie, I understand EXACTLY what you are talking about. I don't like to wish that bad things happen to people. but I often wonder how all these people that think we are weak, and should get over it. how would they act if faced with the same trauma. I am pretty sure, that they would absolutely fall apart. We are so much stronger than they could ever be.

I don't know about you but I know that through out my 55 yrs I have faced and overcome several bumps in the road. But this last bump was worse than anything I could have ever imagined. It's 18 months later and I struggle daily, has I am sure you and everyone else on this site is. I'm glad I found this site. I hope the few comments I do make help someone.

Sorry for loss and your continuing struggles.

Comment by JO B on April 9, 2017 at 5:15am

sorry for evrys 1s loss 2 on hear

Comment by JO B on April 9, 2017 at 5:15am

yep thy r jackie iv had thng lk or he wz only yor dad get ovr it or im not bean fiar 2 ther fealins 

or i shud grow up coz im griefin for ateson how can any 1 grief for ateson its missin luvd 1s we loss it kills us evry day 

iv had s o mush loss sisne 012 1212 yr 2012 cnt feal keybords coz my hnds gon num 

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 9, 2017 at 2:35am
People are horrible, I don't know what worse people ignoring you or saying stupid things. Iv even been told I'm still young and plenty of time to meet someone else!! I'm surprised I not done for murder, I have that much anger in me. Also I think I'm going mad as still can't except she has gone, when I'm out I'm praying she will be in the house when I get back and when I'm in I keep looking for her to walk down the path. Everyday it's like it's just happened again when I realise she not here . Pleae tell me this hell goes away

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Latest Activity

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