help me please

im 17. i lost my twin brother 4 years ago. i loved him so much.

i feel like somebody pulled the ground out from underneath my feet. 

im sick to my stomach with this pain. sometimes i hold my breath so i dont feel as bad even if just for a moment. i feel like i could weep into oblivion, like if i started crying i might never stop. 

i keep reaching out but im becoming a broken record to the few people i open up to, they seem to feel even more helpless in the face of my pain than i do. 

i just miss him so bad, thats my twin, my twin... we learned this world together, im never gonna be as close to anybody as i was to him. i was there when it happened and my brain feels bruised because of it.

nothing makes sense to me anymore, not even music, which is the only reason ive even gotten this far. my twin and i used to be in a band together. now im at an intensive summer music camp and i can hardly touch my guitar without wanting to break down anymore. 

help me please, im so lost

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Replies to This Discussion

I am so very sorry for your loss. Please hang in there and do not give up. My 21 year old daughter lost her twin sister June 20, 2013. They were very close, best friends, each one half of the other. Is there anyone you can talk to? Please continue to reach out. Do not give up. I strongly believe we will all eventually be reunited wih our lived ones. We all need to live the best lives we possibly can so we can get there. Here on Earh it will seem like a long time to wait, but when we get there and are together again it will seem like no time at all. I wish you peace.

Hi, I can identify with you in many ways. Lost my girl, the love of my life (2 yrs. now)! Today is her birthday and not easy(she passed also not far from this time of year). She lost her son around this time of year also 4 years previous from now.

I can rarely listen to music that we would listen together anymore. Or any at all. I too wish to find a solution. Take care and do the things that help you along the way.

Mel, I am so sorry that you have suffered the loss of your twin. Everyone travels this grief highway differently, in their own way and in their own time. It is helpful to talk to others that have suffered the loss of their loved ones because you know that they have a deeper degree of understanding. Talking is really good and you can talk to me any time you want.

(((((Hugs)))))

Brenda

Dear Mel, after my first son died, my guitar, which was my best friend, sat in it's case untouched for a long time. Then one day after my oldest son died I took it out. I couldn't play it, but I held it. Every time I took it out I didn't play it, but I held it, and soon the good memories began to come to me. I play it now, and I sing to my boys in heaven. When I'm angry I play it hard. When I'm sad I play it soft. I have had the same guitar for 43 years now, and it is once again my best friend. Now when I play I can feel the boy's smile. I can hear them sing. Don't worry someday your guitar will beg you to play it, and when you do, I pray that you will feel your twin brothers music that you both shared. I play my guitar even when I don't want to. It makes me feel closer to my children, and I hope yours will help you feel closer to your brother. I bet you have a song or two in you despite your tragic loss. Let it out dear sweet young person, let it out!

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