Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
I just have a simple question...Is a headstone proof of how much a person was loved?
Thank you Lynn. Since my son was stolen from me Nov. 20, 2014, I haven't been able to afford to buy his headstone. Sept. 24th is his birthday. There's nothing I want more than to bring him back. But I can't. So, I want desperately to get his headstone. I found the perfect one for him but I can't afford it on my own. I have so many of my family asking when I'm going to get it, the mothers of 2 of his children are constantly telling me that the kids want to know when their daddy will have a headstone like every one else does. I started a Go Fund Me page and posted the link on Facebook. I thought then everyone would be able to help with it. 1 person donated. 1. Out of over 60 family members. Every tiny cell in my body cries out for Jamey. I can't deal with this pain. And instead of any one helping me, all I get is why didn't I do this or that. I don't know what to do! They don't see the devastaion or pain or greif or anything. And they're asking me to prove my love for my son.
Thank you Lynn. I do try my best to remember that they have no idea what I'm going through. This is one of those times in this process (that's what the councelor calls it) that I don't feel very charitable. But I am trying. I just can't seem to make myself feel warm and fuzzy...right now.
Thank you Tildyc. This is a kind of pain no one, and I do mean NO ONE should go through. I am so sorry for your loss. I still am looking for a different description of the passing of our people. Loss, lost, and death. For me, it's not a loss. I didn't lose my son. And it isn't his death. In so many ways he is here with me. But the screaming agony comes from not being able to hold him, hug him or talk to him face to face. So if the depth of our love is measured by the amount of pain we exhibit, then I am still in that hospital room screaming my lungs out until I get to go with him. I don't know what you are going through because that is a different kind of pain that is no less than mine but I honestly and truly am so deeply sorry for your soulmates passing.
God You are rich in everything.... rich in love and mercy... rich in compassion and You give Your children good gifts... please Lord help Toni find a way to satisfy in her heart and show her deep love for the son she has lost.. You can move mountains and part the sea.. please make a way for Toni... physically and emotionally... Amen
Dolly, thank you. I'm not on speaking terms with him at this moment. Maybe it's in his plans that you do the praying for me for a while. At least until I can get back to believing in him without wanting to deny him or punch him in the face. I'm told my anger is another part of the process so please, forgive my angry heart and pray for my son and my soul. Thank you Dolly.
The anger at God is normal. Everyone grieves in their own way. I want to see my husband again, but my heart is not in my faith right now. I firmly believe he was called home to keep him from having to suffer through things he would not have been able to bear...including the cancer. But this doesn't make my faith stronger. It doesn't comfort my pain. It doesn't give him back to me. And all I want is for him to come back...healthy and strong. But I know he won't. And it hurts so very much.
If anything, the headstone is a completion for you...most definitely NOT a measure of love. And I agree with what others have posted...if the family is so upset about not having a headstone, they need to help with the cost. Otherwise, they need to leave you alone about it!! The pain you're going through from him having been taken is bad enough!! They don't need to be trying to make it worse. And that's what they are doing, either unintentionally or because they just don't think. As to proof of how much he was loved...I don't know that there is a way to measure it. But a headstone is certainly NOT it!!! Don't give up on the Go Fund Me account! Hang in there! It will work out! Many Hugz! Copper
No, not ever. My grandfathers ashes were spread across the ocean that he loved. I regret there is no stone, simply because I would like to visit it.