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Orphaned Adults

This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.

Members: 74
Latest Activity: Jul 21

Discussion Forum

No way back to the past...

I am an only child...I lost my dad at 2 & my mom at 27, which I had just given birth to her first grandbaby 22 days before she passed away. Trying to be a parent, with no one around to say "did I…Continue

Started by Sarah Slagle Nov 9, 2012.

Orphaned adults - too young for the 'middle aged' literature, too old for the child/adolescent ... Any for young adults?

Hello, my name is Catherine. I'm 30 a year old and an 'orphaned adult'. I am the eldest of 3 children. Our father died suddenly at 45, when were aged 19, 17 and 13 (respectively). We lost our mother…Continue

Started by Catherine Robson May 21, 2012.

Longing for belonging 3 Replies

I don't feel like I belong to anyone, and there is nobody else who will love me unconditionally like my parents did.  I feel so alone.  I am only 26 and have my whole life ahead of me.  I have some…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 13, 2012.

Both at the same time??? I just dont understand... 1 Reply

Hey everyone all most 2 months ago now on July 13th 2011 I lost both my Mother (Donna) and Father (Bruce) in a tragic Semi-truck accident. My parents had been team over the road drivers for almost…Continue

Started by Amber Nichole Scarborough McGhee. Last reply by Ruth Oct 10, 2011.

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Comment by Meggie Meg on July 28, 2011 at 10:54pm
I have lsot both of my parents by the age of 32 and I am an only child. I feel SO ALONE. How do I live my life with no one to talk to about how things were when I was little? I wake up every day with the feeling of a 25 lb. weight on my chest. My extended family is no help and I just feel lonely and sad. I also feel pathetic bringing this up to people in my life, but I feel like I can say it on here. Everyone else's lives get to go on and my life is just slow. I'm sitting here in first gear. I have no love for anything that I used to have love for. I have no energy. I'm prone to fits of tears, I'm angry and short tempered, and I'm seriously pissed that everyone else gets their fairytale while I'm just stuck. Someday if I get married, I will have no parents or siblings there. I'm alone. And everyone was there for me the first few weeks, which was great. But as time has gone on, I try to call people to talk and they aren't answering their phones or they sigh and seem bothered by the things I share with them. This sucks. 
Comment by Kandi Broussard on July 27, 2011 at 9:14am
Thomas,  I am sorry to hear about your losses.  I, too, am orphaned.  People who have not lost both parents are not going to understand how it feels.  I really think that I was doing well with the loss of my dad until my mom was murdered 9 months later.  That changed everything for me.  It is not something that you "get over".  I, like you, have stuffed the hurt and anger inside.  That is what people expect of us.  I feel like I have deserved an oscar nomination for the last several months.  Online frief has been a place where I can express what I am feeling without being judged.  As far, as the anxiety that you are having... it does not hurt to see a dr. about that.  I had to start taking stuff for anxiety because I felt like I was dying.  The only person that could really help me through this and love me anyway is gone.  It is extraordinarily difficult to deal with but somehow we just do it.
Comment by Thomas Brophy on July 26, 2011 at 11:09pm
I am glad to see that I am not the only adult who feels "orphaned". When I use that term, so often people say that I am not an orphan. My Dad died from colon cancer July 11, 2009 and my Mom died of breast cancer June 18, 2011. I am seriously struggling to make sense of the loss. My relationship with my siblings is a bit strained, but now that Mom died I am not sure how the family dynamics work without her. I try to call once a week to see how they are doing. It sometimes would be nice if one of them asked me the same. She was my best friend, and the only person that truly loved me unconditionally. My days I feel like I am losing my mind. My heart is so heavy with sadness. My parents are my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. I am trying to be strong for my 3 kids, but most days I really don't know how long I can stuff this much hurt and anger down inside. I feel broken, alone, and at a total loss about how to handle this. I am soon heading back to Idaho to help my sisters go through our Mothers last possesions and each day the anxiety at the idea gets greater and greater. Any suggestions? Anyone please!
Comment by Stefanie Parise on July 19, 2011 at 1:47pm
Oh. Didn't even see this down here. Hello everyone, my name is Stefanie and I'm a 23-yr-old orphan. Not much to say right now..perhaps another time. Hope everyone is having/will have a good day.
Comment by barb blake on July 10, 2011 at 11:43am

Hi Sherri,

oh Im sorry

and yes Im confused

and losing a few things

 

tks Ill talk to you another day

it is so hot here

 

blessings to you this day!

 

Sedona :))

Comment by Sherri Martin on July 8, 2011 at 4:40pm
Also, Barb... I saw your message to this group...wanted to let you know I qualify in the 'over 50' age group.  I'm 54.
Comment by Sherri Martin on July 8, 2011 at 4:36pm
Barb:  You did introduce yourself, but don't feel doing so again is a problem.  Your loss is still quite new so experiencing confusion is certainly understandable.  I am so sorry for your loss. 
Comment by barb blake on July 7, 2011 at 5:50pm

Hello everyone:

 

I thought I introduced myself here

but..excuse me i am so confused

 

blessings and condolences to all

 

I just lost my mom May 20

and have several of the feelings

emotions you all do here

 

I am reading

 

Death of a Parent

it is helpful

 

but some friends do not really understand

 

best to all

 

Sedona :)

 

I am sorry for your losses

 

Comment by Sherri Martin on July 7, 2011 at 3:26pm
Well, I closed out my dad's estate bank accounts yesterday.  While I was there, I saw an elderly lady with short white hair.  She could have been my mom....she was frail and sitting on one of those walker/chair combos and had oxygen.  I was struck as I completed the banking that I felt sick to my stomach and realized by closing the accounts I felt like I was losing my mom all over again.  It didn't seem to make much sense since they were dad's estate accounts....then I realized that HE was what I had left of HER and now closing that door brought all the sadness back and missing them, particularly missing her.  She was always my best friend.  We both had difficult issues with my dad and I never thought I'd even keep in contact with him much when she was gone.  It didn't happen that way and I know I cared for him until he passed way in large part because I knew she'd want me, too.  I still have to file the final estate closing papers with the court and the 'business' aspect of their deaths will be done.  The emotional aspects will never be....
Comment by Sue Waxman on July 3, 2011 at 7:47am

Sherri,

Thank you for reaching out to me. It means so much to have your kind words of support. I reach out to you and all the others experiencing what we are feeling. Accepting that I am now flying completely solo with family support is a hard pill to swallow. I did see a Pastor on Wed. He was this older gentlemen who had such wisdom. Regarding my sisters..he said to step back and leave the door open. Let them come to you. Let them have the opportunity to miss you. If they don't then why chase and beg for their acceptance and love. My husband left me 2 years ago after a 20 year marriage, no kids. My dad left us when we were kids. Mom raised us alone. I live with my Goldren Retriever and 3 cats. I'm 55. Sue

 

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