Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
I don't feel like I belong to anyone, and there is nobody else who will love me unconditionally like my parents did. I feel so alone. I am only 26 and have my whole life ahead of me. I have some big important decisions to make regarding my career and studies, and I wish my parents were here to give me some advice.
I graduated my Honours degree but I don't think I will attend the graduation ceremony next year. My mom passed away on the day I wrote my Financial Accounting exam. I remember driving to another town to visit her in hospital the night before and she said she hoped that her being sick in hospital didn't interfere with my studies. She was so supportive of me in everything I did, and I wish she was here to celebrate with me. Attending the graduation ceremony without my parents being there will be too sad for me.
The weekend before she passed away she was very sick with high blood sugar and was constantly collapsing in her house (she also had a stroke a year before which she never fully recovered from). She lived in another town about 1.5 hours drive from where I stay, and I visited her for one day while I was on study leave. I had to return to my home to continue my studies for my exams and I remember being sick with a sinus infection. I was worried driving back and wondered if my mom would be okay. And when I was back home and studying I received a text from my mom saying "How are you feeling now?". I couldn't believe she was still worried about how I was feeling while she was so sick. Just shows you how wonderful a mother's love is. She worried more about me than herself. I miss her so much!!! :(
I am thinking of you... Your Mom would be so proud of you as would your Gran and Dad. You have done exactly what your Mom wanted you to do. You studied hard and accomplished what you set out to do. That is what makes Moms happy. Even though they say not to make major decisions you are forced to make major decisions, therefore, make the decisions that make you happy and you can be sure that is what your Mom would have wanted for you.
We Moms want our children to be happy - that is even why sometimes we push our kids to achieve in school - so they can have what they want in their futures. That is what God wants for us too and why he gives us rules, so to speak. Do you believe in God and the Bible?
Hope you can find decisions easier with the goal of your happiness in mind - hope my suggestion helps.
Take Care of You,
Yes I do believe in God and the Bible. I pray every day. But I still feel very alone. I put on this act in front of people so that they think I am doing okay. I also find that I am over-sensitive. For instance, if my friend doesn't reply to my text immediately I think I did something wrong and they hate me and don't want to talk to me. I am so scared to lose more people in my life that mean alot to me. I am introverted and not a very social person. I used to speak mostly to my mom and gran, we were like best friends.
I am still undecided as to whether I should carry on studying. I am studying to be a chartered accountant. But I don't feel anymore motivation. Not only do the studies cost alot, but because I work full time I must study in the evenings and on weekends. I never had time to socialise with my friends and now I feel so guilty because they were there for me through this rough patch and now I am going to be "ignoring" them again if I start studying again this year.
I don't feel ready for this new life without my mom and dad. I have a younger sister too who I love and care for very much, and I feel like I have a responsibility to look out for her and protect her. I just find life overwhelming at times, and I don't feel confident in myself when making important decisions. What I miss most is a hug, a genuine caring hug. My sister and family stay in other towns and I live alone.
I know God had a reason for taking both my parents within 9 months of each other. Also, seeing my mom so sick every time I went home for a weekend, really hurt me. It was a different kind of pain to what I am feeling now. She suffered and it broke my heart to see her like that. I know my parents are with God now and that they are looking down on me from above. I keep thanking God for what and who I have in my life. But nothing and nobody will ever replace my parents :(
Nicole my friend,
Never, never, never can your parents be replaced. . . However, you can widen out your friend base, so to speak. Additionally you can get that feeling of belonging you long to have. I just ask you to trust me on this while I help you to believe it too.
Where do you currently live? I live in Houston Texas, I am 61 years old, have three children – ages 40, 36 & 31; 2 wonderful son in “loves” and 6 soon to be 7 grandchildren. Yes, I am mawmaw. So you have a new 61 year old friend, therefore expanding your friend base. I care about you and “feel” your pain in my heart.
You also have another friend, God. The first thing we learn about a person is their name. God's personal name is Jehovah, as pronounced and spelled in English. Please look up Psalms 83:18 which says, “That people may know that you, whose name is Jehovah, You alone are the Most High over all the earth.” Depending on the Bible translation you use it could read a little different but it will say the same. If it doesn't have Jehovah or Yahweh look at the footnote. There it should explain that the capitalized LORD or GOD replaces Jehovah's personal name. God's name Jehovah appeared in the original manuscripts 6,972 times.
The Bible teaches us to think of Jehovah as our Father. (Matthew 6:9) Not only does our life come from him but he wants the best life possible for us—just as any loving father would want for his children. (Psalm 36:9) The Bible also teaches that humans can become Jehovah’s friends. (James 2:23) Imagine—you can become a friend of the Creator of the universe!
You are right that nuturing your friendships take time. Is it possible to just take some time off from your studies to kind of catch up? Sweetheart, think of it this way, you need to fill up your batteries. The losses you have suffered drain your energy mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. You need some time to fill your batteries. Take time for you - fill yourself:
Spiritually - reading & studying the Bible
Mentally – use what you have learned thus far and take a semester off(more if you need it)
Physically – get rest and exercise that make you feel good( maybe with your friends)
Emotionally – pay attention to your relationships – your sister, friends & God
You “belong” to us at onlinegriefsupport.com as a support and friend – don't ever discount yourself – and you “belong” to Jehovah. Curl up in his lap and remember Isaiah 41:10 & 13 which says, “Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not gaze about, for I am your God. I will fortify you. I will really help you. I will really keep fast hold of you with my right hand of righteousness. For I, Jehovah your God, am grasping your right hand, the One saying to you, ‘Do not be afraid. I myself will help you.’”