Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
ANYONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY YOUR SON OR HUSBAND/FAMILY DON'T WANT TO HEAR OUR CHILDREN'S NAME..//I AM GOING CRAZY! IT IS LIKE DON'T SAY MY SON'S NAME...T.J.,T.J., T.J., FORGET HE WAS HERE....AT MY HOUSE, IT IS LIKE GO WATCH TV AND DON'T TALK...GO COOK...DON'T TALK ABOUT T.J. WHY?
WHY YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM? I ASKED MY HUSBAND, HIS RESPONSE WAS, "WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO SAY, HE IS GONE, AND CAN'T COME BACK! WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO SAY? Our child was his best and only friend, now don't mention his name. I don't understand, So this is how Men Act! Also, since we don't have anything else to talk about, I don't want to be physical either. He does, but why be physical with someone you don't talk to? I can't figure that one out.
I think one of the hardest things about losing someone is realizing that everyone grieves differently. It may be extremely difficult for your husband to talk about your son. He may not be ready. The day my sister was killed, my father continued to work. It was too painful for him to stop moving and think about what was happening. I'm still not quite ready to talk about my sister because talking about her makes me think about how she died and those thoughts are excruciating. I can write my feelings down but uttering a word about how I feel or what I'm thinking is just to much to bear right now. Maybe talk to your husband about how you feel it necessary to talk to about your son in order to mourn him. Maybe talking is too painful for him right now but maybe he can write. Maybe the two of you can write letters to each other?