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Comment by Shantel Collins on September 3, 2011 at 6:52pm

Thank you Kandi for listening to me vent. My brother was only 17 and had a long life ahead of him. I dont understand why God seems to take the best of people, meanwhile the evil people continue to thrive. How long will evil people triumph?  I try to remember how my brother lived, and not how he died, because I dont want evil to win. However, you would think that God would want to balance out the evil in this world by leaving some good ones here. I would have preferred for God to have taken me. I wanted to die, my brother on the hand had everything to live for. I wish it was me and not him, and I mean that with all of my heart. I love and miss him so much, and I should have done more to prove it, and now I dont have the chance.

Comment by Kandi Broussard on September 1, 2011 at 9:10am

I think that it is perfectly normal to be angry.  Whatever you feel while grieving is ok.  I know that my mom is in a better place but my flesh still wants her here.  I love her and I miss her.  I AM angry with Phillip Credeur for murdering her that does not mean that I am seeking revenge.  It just means that he did not have the right to brutally and visciously murder her.  Shantel, you have the right to feel that way.  My guess is that those feelings will change with time.  I am a born again Christian.  I was never mad at God for my mom's murder but I certainly have been angry with her murderer.This group is a place where you should feel free to express whatever you are feeling and not be told that you are wrong for feeling that way.  Losing someone to murder is totally different than losing someone to cancer or whatever.  I understand how you feel, Shantel.   

Comment by Sam on September 1, 2011 at 5:34am

I feel very sorry for you, it is hell to live with that kind of anger, you are only hurting yourself and people around you. We all live with choices, you are choosing to be filled with hatred and anger. Here is a reading from a program. I know I can't change your mind but maybe someone who reads this may think about what i am saying and it helps someone learn to accept things like i finally did.

"Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burden of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives us mad. It is the remorse or bitterness from something that happened yesterday or the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Am I living one day at a time?:"

"When life seems hard, I look for some reasons for thankfulness. If I seek diligently for something to be glad and thankful about, I will acquire in time the habit of being constantly grateful for all God's blessings.:"

No, i am not religious but i am still grateful for what i have, a wonderful supportive family, a roof over my head, and a few friends. Peace, Sa,

Comment by Shantel Collins on August 31, 2011 at 11:47pm

I wish I could kill the person that killed my brother with my bare hands. I hope that person suffers, gets raped in prison and doesnt live to see trail

Comment by Sam on August 31, 2011 at 9:17pm

i feel i have to comment on those wanting revenge. First i have to say that the only man i really loved (we did end up estranged because of his alcoholism) and the father of my 18 year old son was murdered in may of 2010. He was brutally murdered by his girlfriend and her new boyfriend in a love triangle. The girlfriend was an old friend of mine from many years ago. At first i was very angry and filled with hatred. Somehow i have come past that. I am very sad both for my kids, and myself but through a lot of therapy and work on myself i came to realize that the anger is only hurting me and those around me. Do you think you are hurting the guy who did it by being mad at him? You are punishing yourself. I used to think it was a crock when people said things happen for a reason, we may not know the reason but something is learned from every experience. One thing i found helped was to realize that the we don't have to feel sorry for the person that died, they are in a better place, even if you dont believe in god, i am agnostic, it is over for them, no more pain. We all have pain on this earth. Do you think your loved one would want to see you miserable? They would want you to get on with your life. Use your energy by helping others or something. You only have one life to live, make it count. I am not just preaching, i have had many painful experiences and i spent 40 years of my life wanting to die. It takes tons of work but it can get better if you work at it. Just remember, you are only hurting yourself and your friends and family with your anger. Peace

Comment by Shantel Collins on August 31, 2011 at 2:28am

My brother was only 17 when he was shot to death. Not only do I have to deal with that, but I have to deal with the anger at the person responsible. Why is it the best of people have bad things happen to them? I know so many negative people that are living long happy lives. But people say God makes no mistakes? Oh please....

Comment by Carly Michelle Hoskins on August 11, 2011 at 7:23pm

My mother's best friend Tina was murdered. She was like a second mama to me. I never expected anything like this to happen. It still doesn't feel real to me. I miss Tina terribly, and I can't understand why this had to happen.

Comment by Kerry Whitley on February 16, 2011 at 10:45pm

Not that I'm glad that there are other people out there like me but it is nice to know that some people understand the pain of losing a loved one to murder. My mom was murdered 17 years ago when I was 17 and a senior in high school and this year has just hit me the hardest in all of the years I do think. I saw a post on here of someone losing someone over 20 years ago and feeling the same way I am feeling. I thought it was supposed to be easier each year but this year has proved that theory wrong completely.

Comment by donna on January 14, 2011 at 11:08pm

TNorman-- I know exactly how you feel my brother was murdered on june 22, 2008 and there were many witnesses but they could not keep the man they arrested in jail because of "lack of evidence."   It is so frustrating, especially when you know people saw what happened. I not only want the people who murdered my brother to pay for what they did.....I also want all the people who kept quiet, to suffer.  I hope they are all haunted by it for the rest of their lives. 

 

fred upton----  I am so sorry to hear how you are still suffering so much. People say it gets easier with time but I imagine those people did not lose someone they love to MURDER. I agree with you wanting revenge. I do too. I dream about it.   I hope the man (if you can call him that,) who murdered your daughter suffers severely EVERY day that he is in prison, and hopefully he NEVER gets out.

Comment by fred upton on January 11, 2011 at 11:37am

on 3-21-08 my 18 yr old daughter was shot and killed along with a boy she was sleeping beside by her 18 yr old roommate who was in love with her. i wnt his head on a pike in my front yard. anything i do afterwards is usless. my life has turned to pure shit. i wait for death but i'm loosing patience. i have the urge to destroy the prison housing him. i think thats why we the people aren't allowed rocket launchers. he would have looked me in the eye long ago if i had a way to blow my way in where hes at. and i thought about going to fla and killing someone to get put in there with olboy but i'd be no better than he is. alass i will wait patiently for him to get a paroll hearing where i intend to speak on his behalf. he was young and stupid i shall say he deserves another chance. and wait to give him a ride home. since turning his family tree into a stick isn't a real option since they did nothing wrong. but his ride home would be a very long ride ending with him chained between 2 pine trees standing in an ant bed as i torture him slowly. i'm talking days of pure hate thrown at him. i'd stop for food and sleep only. allowing him to explain why my daughters not coaching her soccer team like she intended to do after graduation. she was going to become a teacher to help kids!  sorry more later as i'm crying again. 3 yrs and i'm still a puddle!

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