Missing my Son or Daughter

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Missing my Son  or  Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.

Members: 255
Latest Activity: 1 hour ago

Discussion Forum

Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter 337 Replies

Started by Karen. Last reply by Katherina Conley on Monday.

STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " 139 Replies

Started by Karen. Last reply by Ammy yesterday.

Lost Faith 49 Replies

Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Nov 9, 2012.

The HOW ARE YOU dreaded Question ???? How do you answer??? 42 Replies

Started by Karen. Last reply by Marilyn Matthews Jun 8.

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Comment by Mary Chris Griffin 1 hour ago

I, too, am comforted by birds. I have an Eastern Blue Bird couple who are nesting on my back deck. I enjoy their courtship, marriage, eggs, babies, and fledging from about 5' from my living room window. Such a pleasure this summer. So good to see the "daddy" feed the mama and babies. And her love for them all. God taking care....

Comment by Marilyn Matthews 2 hours ago

Oh Vasanthi and Mary..how beautiful ...and since God IS love...even our poor human attempts at love is a reflection or a tiny bit of HIM...He cares enough for us to let us feel LOVE...He MUST care about how we are feeling....

we went to the mountain again on Monday and as it was getting dark we heard two Owls calling to each other..this type of owl's call sounds like "ooh ooh cah choo" and I've always loved it...in recent years we have noticed an alarming decrease in these calls and those of the Whipporwill  which used to sing and call with great gusto each evening..tho we still haven't heard the Whipporwill this year, hearing the Owls again made me happy...One of the owls this time had a very strange sort of 'hoot' unlike any I had ever heard....it brought to mind how when my boys were both young, they struggled to talk even after both had had their speech centers severely damaged through brain injuries they suffered as infants...before they came to us..both seemed very shy to try as the sounds they made were unusual sounding and difficult to understand, but we encouraged them with all sorts of games and funny sounding toys, until they began to understand that their voices are BEAUTIFUL to us and using them helped us understand what they wanted and needed so we could help them better...that 'strange' sounding owl made me think of my sweet son once again...tenderly and proudly...how STRONG he was, and how BRAVE, and how PURE his love was....so now I can add the OWLS to the list of animals and birds that I feel have come to mourn with me, to comfort me and to bring me a tiny bit of my son to hold close for a second or two....I can't TOUCH them, but I can SEE them and HEAR them and somehow that somehow seems to bring BRANDON closer to me for a time...

now if only our male cat Pesterpaws would just come back home...after Brandon died and we came back home, Pester became unusually affectionate.  He had been a shy cat and often disappeared for short periods of time, but always came back.  Born in the woodpile out back to a wild mother, he didn't like to come inside the house at all, but just recently he had been coming in and letting me pet and groom him..then he just disappeared about two weeks ago...maybe he was saying goodbye...I don't know where he goes or where he is now, but I wish he would come home...we all miss him, including his sister Pushycat..they both adopted us...

so many animals have seemed to 'reach out' to us from the time right before Brandon died until now...Its like God is giving us visual and auditory hugs from our son or from HIM...or BOTH....am I crazy?

Comment by Mary Chris Griffin 4 hours ago

Love and reaching out is the most important thing that I can do for others and myself, I agree whole heartedly! Yes, without faith in God, I would not be "making it" at all. I understand what you are saying Vasanthi. Recently re-read quotes from internet by Max Lucado called "I Choose Love" retyped them and put them on my fridge. Peace......

Comment by Vasanthi S 4 hours ago

Love to u all here .. the lord is omniscient and omnipotent-- please trust that--not saying it as some religious crap but saying it because i firmly know it..how? because with all the severe trials one goes through, it still doesn't take away the love from our equations--the love we feel for those not here with us just wont go away-- so i know that the most important thing now is to reach out and  give, give, give till it hurts-- so that we fill our life with ties of love and nothing else.Hope I'm understood.

Comment by Mary Chris Griffin 4 hours ago

Michelle, I too, have a friend who has dropped me, but it's because she is dealing with un-dealt with grief. I understand her better after we've talked a couple of times. I miss her, but at this time in our lives we can't help each other. That's just a fact. People who can be here for me and I can support them are here. Maybe we can re-connect at some point, but not right now. Too raw..the pain for all of us IS the same

Comment by toni m dicarlo 16 hours ago

The sadness that is 24-7 has greatly affected my health, I went to greif counciling for a year and have a wonderful big sister that has been my life saver. Some days I think i'm ok but I cry every night in my sleep 2 years after Gabes death, i dream of him almost every nite and they are happy dreams of his childhood but I always wake up moaning out loud and crying 

Comment by Jane Provost yesterday

Yes Adrianne we have all ended up in the same place but with different lengths of time. We must believe the messages we read that say we will get better. We will get to a place where our bodies can "handle" the grief. We must look after ourselves now or we won"t make it. Be kind to yourself as well as others. I wish you all only the best.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly yesterday
Reading all of your posts I find that though the words vary and situations are different than my own, we are all going through the same pain. I feel as if I'm not living in the moment at all anymore. Around the corner comes a memory, a quick stab of fear and another holiday of some sort without him. I know you all feel the same. Please keep writing. I don't know what I would do without all of you. Michelle, the former best friend is best left as former. She can't begin to understand your pain or why we need support from our loved ones. Significant unfinished business is making me sick. The finality of this. Never having another opportunity to fix anything left undone. Ammy, been crying also. For days. It gets so much harder. So much longer since we last saw him. I love your quotes. Sad that we all understand them so well.
Comment by Michelle Hudson yesterday

Feeling overwhelmed with distress today. It started this morning when I got a Facebook notification that my formerly best friend had changed her profile picture. Seeing her smiling face didn't jive with the e-mail I got from her ending our friendship because I expressed hurt that she didn't come to my son's funeral or memorial mass. Then got sad thinking of significant unfinished business with my son that will never get taken care of. Piled on that was my frustration that my daughter-in-law seems to want nothing to do with my family since Chris died, so that is another loss. And on and on with other stress. I just wanted to run away from it all. My stomach is taking the brunt of my upsetting feelings.

Comment by Ammy yesterday

I am trying to get back a little peace for a bit. This past weekend was torture. Maybe the worst since our son left us. Crying for days and fighting back the tears - exhausting. His birthday was the 14th, mine the 16th, and Father's day all together.
We use to celebrate that weekend. Our family would all get together and go out for a big dinner and have a great time. Yesterday, my daughter wanted to take me and her dad out for dinner and at first I said no, but not to be the "party pooper" I finally agreed. As we were getting into the car my little granddaughter Gianna came with her gift and cards for me and PopPop. Dinner cancelled and we ordered take out instead. So relieved that we didn't go. I don't believe in coincidences. My daughter even commented something about us not meant to go.
Today I felt some of the weight lifted from me from this past week and I'm so grateful for these times when I don't feel so weighted down with sadness.
For those of you that are just starting this journey, the first year is a learning process with lots of testing, but eventually you will have times of relief, even if it is short lived. Keep going. You can make it. Besides sensing your pain , I also sense your strength.

I read a quote sometime in the last 2 weeks and have been wanting to post it. I think Norman Wright wrote it, but what it speaks of I feel we find it here where we all understand and do not judge.
“A bereaved person, no matter what his or her age, needs safe places, safe people, and safe situations.”

This from Howard Thurman is my feelings for all of you.
I share with you the agony of your grief, the anguish of your heart finds echo in my own. I know I cannot enter all you feel nor bear with you the burden of your pain; I can but offer what my love does give: The strength of caring, the warmth of one who seeks to understand the silent storm-swept barrenness of so great a loss. This do I in quiet ways, that on your lonely path you may not walk alone.

Be blessed. I pray this week will be kinder and gentler to all.      

 

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Angela Denny commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Thank you for your caring response to my earlier post. I want to know if it is normal to be feeling so depressed and grief stricken after five months. There are days I do not even have the energy or desire to shower and every day finds me crying so…"
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Marilyn Matthews commented on Diana Young's blog post After Death Communication
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1 hour ago
Mary Chris Griffin commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"I, too, am comforted by birds. I have an Eastern Blue Bird couple who are nesting on my back deck. I enjoy their courtship, marriage, eggs, babies, and fledging from about 5' from my living room window. Such a pleasure this summer. So good to…"
1 hour ago
Marilyn Matthews commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Oh Vasanthi and Mary..how beautiful ...and since God IS love...even our poor human attempts at love is a reflection or a tiny bit of HIM...He cares enough for us to let us feel LOVE...He MUST care about how we are feeling.... we went to the mountain…"
2 hours ago
Mary Chris Griffin commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Love and reaching out is the most important thing that I can do for others and myself, I agree whole heartedly! Yes, without faith in God, I would not be "making it" at all. I understand what you are saying Vasanthi. Recently re-read…"
4 hours ago
Vasanthi S commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Love to u all here .. the lord is omniscient and omnipotent-- please trust that--not saying it as some religious crap but saying it because i firmly know it..how? because with all the severe trials one goes through, it still doesn't take away…"
4 hours ago
Mary Chris Griffin commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Michelle, I too, have a friend who has dropped me, but it's because she is dealing with un-dealt with grief. I understand her better after we've talked a couple of times. I miss her, but at this time in our lives we can't help each…"
4 hours ago
Dina Marie Gabriel posted a status
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10 hours ago
Essie Jay replied to Essie Jay's discussion Everything is Changing in the group I love my Dad.
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12 hours ago
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Marilyn Matthews commented on anne's blog post I saw God today!
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15 hours ago
Marilyn Matthews commented on anne's blog post I saw God today!
15 hours ago
Jeanne Potter commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
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Russell Gannon posted photos
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toni m dicarlo commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"The sadness that is 24-7 has greatly affected my health, I went to greif counciling for a year and have a wonderful big sister that has been my life saver. Some days I think i'm ok but I cry every night in my sleep 2 years after Gabes death, i…"
16 hours ago

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