Missing my Son or Daughter

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Missing my Son  or  Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.

Members: 438
Latest Activity: on Saturday

Discussion Forum

Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter 466 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by toni m dicarlo Jun 17.

STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " 182 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11.

Lost Faith 58 Replies

Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Jun 27, 2015.

The HOW ARE YOU dreaded Question ???? How do you answer??? 49 Replies

Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11.

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Comment by Ammy on June 17, 2018 at 3:41pm

Hello.  Where has everyone gone?  I don't ever remember it being so quiet here.  I would like to think that is a good sign, but fearful that the newbies are being ignored.
This place was a place of comfort and understanding when I first came here.  I understand that we all gradually adjust somewhat to this new life we learn to live and some of us move away from here.  Why?  I don't know about others but for me it brought back bad memories that I had eventually been able to partially control.  And I felt helpless reading the comments.
I pray all are doing okay and send positive thoughts & hugs to everyone.

Comment by Judy Pugh on March 25, 2018 at 4:19am

I can so relate to what people are saying here. My youngest son’s birthday was last month and he would have been 26 this year. (Our first child who died as an infant would have been 34 this year). In October it will be the 5 year mark of our youngest son’s passing. It’s still so painful. About 9 months before he passed I was very ill and almost died myself. I counted myself so lucky that I didn’t, but then when he died I wished that God had just taken me when I was ill. If there is an answer as to why I was left to live when I really should not have made it only to then have my heart ripped out 9 months later I hope I get the answer someday. I am a person of faith and I do believe there are reasons things happen the way they do, but the answers rarely come on this side of the veil. My sister’s husband (who is not a young man and has never taken care of his health) just survived a heart attack by the skin of his teeth, and my sister keeps throwing around the “miracle” word like Pez candy. I guess I’m overly sensitive to the word “miracle” when I would have loved a miracle when either one of my sons died. She doesn’t realize I’m sure that expressions like that are painful for me. My husband and I are the only people in either family who have lost a child, and like I said we have lost two. While I don’t wish tragedy on anyone, sometimes it’s hard to take. Hopefully some of you can relate.

Comment by Connie K on March 24, 2018 at 2:12pm

Hello to all. It has been a while since I've posted. It's good to hear frm you Michelle.We've been walking this road together for almost the same ampunt of time. My Daniel has been gone for 5 years last Dec.1 This march 31 is his birthday. He would have been 23. I usuually do somehting special but this year because it falls on Easter weekend, I have conflicts.Not just with other obligations but with diffreing on what to do - how to honor him - with my husband. I can't take arguong about something like this. my heart is so broken wideopen, I can hardly stand it. These anniversaries are hard had hard. For me, as his mom, I have physical memories of bringing a human into this world. Altho many days I feel I have made progress, these days, I feel like I'm falling in an endless pit. What have I done in 5 years to be better? A lot of good and a lot of nothing. I feel no motivation for life, I feel like I can't handle one more thing. I feel lost. Still. I still feel regrets and guilt though I know these do no good for anyone. The problem is that as time passes everytime else seems like they think I should have"gotten over it and moved on in a positive way". I feel guilty for expressing the truth so I am more bottled up. I have retreated from many relationships because I don't have the acting skills to keep them up. I don't take very good care of myself and am a physical mess which depresses me even more. All I know is that I miss my sweet son as much as the day he left. I love you Daniel and wish I could be with you on your birthday.

 Now my mom is having heart issues. She is 88 and has to have surgery. We are very close but nit physically. She is on the east coast. She is the only one who remembers all the days, and always supports me. It is hard to think of losing her at this time. It's just all too hard right now.

I think of all of those who are in this boat with me. I pray for you all and send you love and hugs. It's only by my faith that he's ok and that we will be together again some day, that I survive.

Prayers to you Michele. ((( )))

Ginger - I am so very sorry for your loss <3

Comment by Michelle H on March 22, 2018 at 5:07pm

Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of my son's sudden death. I can scarcely believe it's been that long. This is a hard journey.

Comment by Ginger on March 19, 2018 at 4:44pm
  • Today is 1 month and 1 day that my daughter passed away from cancer and I miss her every day, so much so that I won't put her picture away because I don't want to forget her.
Comment by Grace on March 11, 2018 at 12:59pm

So....May 29 the will be 9 years..... I have the hole in my heart....I have tried to fill in some of that space by my memorial fund that gives families that have folk with special needs and serious medical issues hugs with random acts of kindness donation.  It helps to see the generosity of the donors and the emotional impact it has made for recipients.  Yes there is a void that will never be filled.....and it should never be gotten over.....but we all make a journey through it.....  Blessings to all of the ones who are still at the starting point....and maybe the finish line is at our own time to pass through this Journey to our next beginning.....PEACE 

Comment by Jesse's Mom on February 24, 2018 at 4:46pm

Hello, I have read through the comments left and have to say at a little over 5 years much is the same as what others wrote.

I have lost many contacts through this -- I have seen people behave in ways towards me and my family that were unimaginable. Many had an idea of how we should respond to the unrepentant girl who ran over my son...and made it clear their views of us...I trust no one now really...

Of course, all of those who pointed fingers or simply dumped on us went on in their life...we tend to isolate now...

I think this coming of spring can bring about anxiety all on its own...new beginnings except for us...no one in my circle can understand the level of hell we go through each day...yet my husband and I try to hold it together for my daughter's sake and grand children...

Teresa, sending healing prayers for your daughter...

I am sorry Windsor the additional pain you are facing...

To newcomers, I am sorry you have found the need for this type of group...it is a hard journey. 

I found this web site by Carol Kearns helpful early on in my grief journey...the author lost her daughter to drowning and later became a grief counselor. She was mentored by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. 

http://www.carolkearns.com/kristens-legacy/overview.html

Comment by B.Windsor on February 6, 2018 at 5:50pm

My heart continues to ache for all who have lost or/and continue to lose loved ones.  It is truly a heavy burden.  *Much love to you all!  Thank you--those who work for the site and comment and just keep going!  

i just wanted to share a brief update.  This past weekend, we traveled a few hours each way, so i could meet my grandson--finally.  It was a bit weird, since both his father and grandfather believed i was there to try to take Gabriel, and not simply visit.  (i'd tried calling several times, throughout January, as well as the first day of February, without anyone answering the phone.  *sigh)  So, i broke it down to them both, and made sure they understood my stance.  Needless to say, we visited for a few hours, and all i can truly say about my grandson:  He's his mother's child!  And, he's a trough of energy--not just a bowlful!  He looks so much like her, too.  i just hope they can keep at least some of their "word," since i've not had the best experience with that, as of yet.  

Comment by Judy Pugh on January 15, 2018 at 6:56pm

I’m so sorry Virginia. Life is so hard after a loss such as ours. Just know there are many people who understand your pain, people you will never meet but who have gone through this anguish you are feeling. You will make it through, please be gentle with yourself. 

Comment by Virginia on January 15, 2018 at 11:23am

I lost my beautiful daughter on 12/21/17.  I don't know what else to say, I think that says it all.  I am sad beyond belief. I don't want to be at home, I don't want to go to work.  Being around people is hard: either they don't talk to me because they don't know what to say, or they just want to tell me how sorry they are which makes me cry.  I feel I am neglecting my son, but it is so hard to play with him and try to have fun, when I am thinking of my daughter every minute of every day.

 

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bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I understand, Linda. It's the same for me. ((((Hugs))))"
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Monty replied to Kyle McKay's discussion Lost my wife in the group Lost My Spouse...
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would say that your mom was fortunate that she did not suffer that way. Sometimes a person will suffer for years before they die. I am certainly glad that I got to be with my mom at the end and tell her that I loved her every day, but it was…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I know you know I did not mean it in that way, but of course not, my question, should I be thankful she did not suffer and lay in a bed and me have to watch her suffer and be able to do nothing as so many had to do on this site.  But as you…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I don't know if we can be thankful that our mom's died under any circumstances. "
yesterday
Profile IconMarian Bruce and Colleen joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"True Brett Should I be thankful? My mom died in an instant she was herself until the last minute. Some say I’m lucky I didn’t have to watch her suffer. But my mom used to always say we suffer everyday in this earth. I would have been…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No, she didn't everyone, good or bad, dies. Few people have an easy death."
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Wow Avi I believe in karma but I’m not sure that your mom has done anything wrong present or past that would make her have gotten that disease"
Tuesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks Theressa. Yes hope the questions will be answered. In my country, lot of importance is given to Karma and it is believed that whatever you sow and you will reap the same. Not sure how this karma cycle is analyzed and who decided if this was a…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes Avi That’s what we all have to do we have to go on with our lives it’s so much easier said than done I cry sometimes uncontrollably I have hope that one day every question or any uncertainty we have will be answered"
Tuesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Guys it is completely 1 year when my mother's cancer was detected. I hope I can go back in time and change everything but I can only live with it. "
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Same Brett, yesterday out of the blue driving home from work I burst into tears saying mom why didn't you wait for me to get there before you went in cardiac arrest, well now isn't that stupid on my part.   I feel that I am a…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'll keep going though. I'll keep praying. I'll keep putting one foot in front of the other, but I do not seem to get anywhere. I will always pray for a wink or a nod. Just something to let me know that the Lord is walking with…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Guys, my heart is just broken. So broken. It's not because of some kind of change. It's just three years of sadness that continues to pull me down, and makes me feel that there is very little hope. I am a very spiritual person. When lie…"
Tuesday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you for your response, and for providing the link to your post about your NDE as well as describing it in more detail here. Although it's terrible that you were in that accident, in a way it was a blessing for you, in that it allows…"
Monday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, your post made me cry because I also feel similar.  I wish you all strength "
Sunday
Bern commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"2012 September 30th. This fight is real. My only son was shot in the head. The girl and her brother were in the house when it happened. The told police that they were playing with the gun. Well a sister and brother will die and go to hell or heaven…"
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