Missing my Son or Daughter

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Missing my Son  or  Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.

Members: 430
Latest Activity: on Friday

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Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter 463 Replies

Started by Karen. Last reply by Pearl Irene Jul 19.

STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " 180 Replies

Started by Karen. Last reply by Kellie Hull Nov 9.

Lost Faith 58 Replies

Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Jun 27, 2015.

The HOW ARE YOU dreaded Question ???? How do you answer??? 48 Replies

Started by Karen. Last reply by Ross Hotard Dec 17, 2014.

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Comment by Patty on May 21, 2017 at 1:16pm

Dolly, everything you said describes my feelings exactly.  I always wonder what people really think of me but on the other hand I don't seem to really care.  I feeling like a "watcher" too.  Not only do I not feel the will or energy to be a part of it I also feel like I don't really belong anymore.  I can't get over the fact that the world keeps going on.  It seems like yesterday that my daughter was here (it's getting close to 7 years) and I can't wrap my head around the fact that people have just picked up and moved on.  I don't think I will ever feel anything close to "okay" again.  If I'm still feeling like this after almost 7 years I probably always will.

Comment by Dolly on May 21, 2017 at 1:04pm

I know what you mean Patty... everything seems so unreal anymore... and yet the world moves along... I feel like I'm WATCHING it but can't get up the will or energy to jump on and be part of it... it all seems so shallow and pointless so much of the time.. I feel so lost... like everything I thought I knew is gone... nothing is stable and sure... nothing makes sense.. I can't trust anything... even my own self.. I constantly find myself trying to figure out what people are REALLY thinking.. what their REAL attitude towards me is... and never feeling like I know for sure.. always doubting.. always so lonely..

Comment by Patty on May 21, 2017 at 12:58pm

I'm so sorry, David.  I can only imagine what your beautiful daughter was feeling and thinking as she wrote that.  I, like you, used to be happy.  Now I find it hard to care much about anything.  But I have prayed for you and will continue to do so.

Comment by Dolly on May 21, 2017 at 12:58pm

David.. it seems you have an understanding about suicide that many don't seem to have... too many people talk about the suicidal person as 'selfish' and they just have no idea... the pain the suicidal person goes through is so raw and total... and you seem to know that... your sweet daughter ... only the tender hearts feel pain like that I think... so deep and so inexplicable to anyone who has never felt that hopelessness and uselessness.. the frustration of having no control over anything ... I know the feeling well... my heart is so sad for you... its obvious how much you love and miss your sweet girl.... my son didn't die the same way, but I too can't shake the pain of losing him... this month has been awful... its been 4 years since he died.. and I think I'm dealing with it better.. and in my conscious mind I seem to be.. sort of.. but then my body tells me otherwise... its been one physical thing after another this month and when I finally gave up and went to the doctor all the tests come back 'normal'... but still I am overwhelmed with all manner of symptoms... its as if we can not NOT grieve.. we can't fool ourselves totally... this grief is part of us now.. and no matter what we do it will have it's 'pound of flesh'... please keep coming and sharing... this group has meant so much to me... because nobody here judges... if anyone ever comes in and tries that the rest of us soon take care of them straightaway... because those of us who know this pain won't stand for anyone to come and attack any of us... a strange little group of support and love here... one none of us EVER wanted to have to be part of..

Comment by David Blanco on May 21, 2017 at 12:28pm
I found Carli's goodbye note. She wrote it in German. She was self-teaching the language. I translated it myself which was difficult. The sadness and hopelessness my poor Carli felt inside. This evil thing depression is a killer. My life has changed so much. I used to be happy and positive. Now I don't see a point to living. I fight the feeling, just like Carli must have. I'm so apathetic...
Comment by Connie K on May 17, 2017 at 3:55pm

Thanks Ammy <3

Comment by Ammy on May 17, 2017 at 12:47pm

Thinking of you all and ......

Comment by Ammy on May 17, 2017 at 12:36pm

Thinking of you David.  Pleased to read you all made it through Mother's day.  Holidays are always hard, but right now I know that every day is hard to get through.  

Comment by Ammy on May 17, 2017 at 12:28pm

Silke B, try not to feel guilty.  We really aren't in control of our emotions.  Especially in the beginning.  I still snap at my husband some days for no reason.  Just thankful that he doesn't take it personally anymore.  

I sometimes think about birth and death and how before it was a normal thing.  We all know that we are born and someday die, but now I feel like I've been born again into a different life and have to learn how to live all over again.  This is definitely a much harder one than the first, but day by day we somehow manage to keep going.

I hope your days become a little kinder, gentler, and bring you some peace.  Hugs.

Comment by David Blanco on May 17, 2017 at 7:50am
Just reflecting on the loss of my Carli. The happiest day for me in her life was holding her the day she entered this world. The saddest day in her life for me was holding her the day she left this world...I miss you my Carli
 

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