Missing my Son or Daughter

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Missing my Son  or  Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.

Members: 420
Latest Activity: 3 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter 452 Replies

Started by Karen. Last reply by Nb Nov 15, 2016.

STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " 174 Replies

Started by Karen. Last reply by Patty Jul 3, 2016.

Lost Faith 58 Replies

Started by cindy parrott. Last reply by Dennis C. Jun 27, 2015.

The HOW ARE YOU dreaded Question ???? How do you answer??? 48 Replies

Started by Karen. Last reply by Ross Hotard Dec 17, 2014.

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Comment by Debbie Lynn Hallstrom 3 hours ago

Hello. My name is Debbie. I am Adrianne's Daughter. I joined this group to announce to you of her passing. She took her last breath on July 4th, 2016. She was my best friend, my better half and my person. I am not sure how to even begin to cope. She found a lot of comfort on this site and i am so grateful to all those who read and wrote to her. When my brother passed away she became more ill. It just ruined her. She used to tell me stories of those on this support group. It was hard for her to read but she felt so connected. 

She had cancer and I think I just never wanted to accept that it could take her because she was my world. The day she passed, I knew that if my brother came to her she would never come back and that was the case. I can't write to much because the pain is too hard, to intense. 

may you all be blessed and I am so sorry for all your and my pain.

Comment by Rita 8 hours ago

Before my life changed on July 5, 2016 I was going to my Dads 3 times a week. I cooked, did his laundry, played dominoes, took him to doctor appointments, picked up prescriptions, bought his groceries and filled his pill box and whatever else needed to be done. My brother (4 yrs older than me) lives with my Dad. He owes my Dad EVERYTHING but he doesn't want to do anything for him. My Dad is almost 94 years old and his mind and body are not what they used to be.. After my Jesse's accident I simply could not continue to go as regular as I had. I have been on antidepressants to help me cope with him and my Mother (she passed 3 yrs ago.)  I am still having a very hard time excepting that my only son has passed away. I hadn't been going to my Dads but every 2-3 weeks and crying all the way home cause my Dad didn't understand why I had quit coming. He couldn't remember my son, his grandson, and that was very upsetting to me. He thought I was mad at him. I would have to explain why I hadn't been there. He still really didn't understand. Recently I have started going a little more and can see that my Dads mind has deteriorated considerably. He sits in the house by himself all day. He can't remember how to turn the tv on and nobody stops to visit or check on him. My brother sometimes will but not like he should and only briefly. The house is FILTY and trash every where 'cause my brother won't bother to clean up or pick up! Today I told my brother we need to think about doing something different with Dad. (My Dad has the money) I told him Dad needs some activity, some interaction with people. I told him sitting in the house day in and day out would work on anyone's mind and his is already feeble to begin with. I told my brother as the days get longer and he gets busier (farming) he will be there less. He said "well why don't you come and stay with him!" I said I can't I haven't felt very good. He said "well what's wrong with you?" I got very upset and ask him "how he would feel if he had lost a child?" I said "you have no ideal what that's like cause you have never lost any of your children (5!)" He says well "I guess I don't know" and "I said you never will understand how I feel until you do!!" I left in tears and cried all the way home. I am still upset! Should I want to go back to an already depressing situation because my brother doesn't want to spend Dads money on his care? It's very hard to see your parents dwindle away in front of you.. But losing my parents cannot remotely compare to the loss of my child, my only son...I just am not able right now to go back in the same capacity as I did. I am trying! Am I wrong to feel this way? I would appreciate some input from people that have experienced what I have...Thanks for listening!

Comment by Rita yesterday

I haven't posted anything in a while but I come here to read stories about the losses we (mostly) Mothers are going through. Looking for answers and knowing in my heart there are none...My Jesse was 38 days away from being 38 years old. Why do we have to go through such heartache and unbearable pain??? Is it punishment for some transgression we committed??? Why? Why? Why? I can't hardly stand the pain! I am so ready to die....Matter of fact I welcome it, anything to take this unbearable heartache and pain away...Nothing can mend my broken heart!!!

Comment by Jill E on Monday
Thank you all for sharing. It helps me so much that I am not alone. That there others that understand me when I don't understand myself. WYWH My Joshie
Comment by Patty on Monday

Thank you for sharing that, Teresa.  

Comment by Teresa D. on Monday

I'm 4 1/2 years in and still crying daily.  I hate this, some days I feel like I'm making progress and some days I feel stuck back on day one.  I learned there's nowhere I can go to escape it so I have to embrace it.  How do you do that? I have no clue. 

Comment by Teresa D. on Monday

Patty your not doing anything wrong. We always think others are doing better than ourselves, but NO! We all just have to find our own way.  I agree with Ammy I never want all of it to go away.  If I have to feel my Michael through my tears than I'm okay with crying forever. This is the new normal me.

I went to a family dinner with my sisters, brother and nieces and nephews.  My daughter decided at the start of dinner to ask everyone to tell their fondest memory of my Michael. By the time the second person started to talk I had to stop them.  I couldn't eat, the tears were streaming and I discovered I wasn't ready for that.  I want to hear the stories and laugh like everyone else, just can't find the laughter right now.

Comment by Patty on Sunday

It's been 6 years and 6 months for me.  For me, it is not getting better.  I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Comment by Ammy on Saturday

Hello everyone,
I don't get on the computer very much anymore.  It's old and slow.  But I do think of you all and pray for you daily.
I am not boasting.  There is nothing to boast about on this journey, but I'm saying this to give hope to those that feel hopeless.  I am six years and seven months into this journey.  I have to say that I am doing better.  The pain is not as harsh all the time.  It hasn't gone away, it's just different. There are still tearful days, but not every day.  I'm slowly moving forward; one breath, one step, one day at a time.  It may not seem like much to others, but it's better than nothing at all.  I take each day as it comes because I find it easier. 
I honestly would never want it to be completely gone.  I don't know how to explain it, but it has become a part of me that I embrace.
You may not think it, but you are all strong; even in your weakness.  Never give up being you.  Don't worry about what others think.  Just because we are grieving parents it doesn't mean we have something wrong with us.  It means we miss and love our child who is no longer here with us.  Our reality is forever changed.  We all need to grieve at our own pace and find our own way because it's a lifetime thing.
You are all in my heart and I send you my love.

Comment by Teresa D. on Friday

Dolly, Jill sometimes I think it's they don't know what to say so they say nothing. They think talking about them will make us sad without knowing it's the lack of talking about them that makes us sad.

Connie I'm sorry you sat alone but know I was crying right along with you.

Sandy Congratulations on the new grandson.  I know nothing takes the place of our children but hopefully he can bring you some joy.

Lynn thank you.

Dick I know this has been hard for you but it's nice seeing you pop in.  As sad as it is you prepare me for the future.  I know not to expect to much.  That's the nice thing about those a head of you, they don't lie to you or try to make you expect more.  Dick believe it or not you make me feel normal.

I love you all!

 

Members (420)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Debbie Lynn Hallstrom commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello. My name is Debbie. I am Adrianne's Daughter. I joined this group to announce to you of her passing. She took her last breath on July 4th, 2016. She was my best friend, my better half and my person. I am not sure how to even begin to…"
3 hours ago
Debbie Lynn Hallstrom joined Karen's group
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Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
4 hours ago
Debbie Lynn Hallstrom joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
4 hours ago
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I could cry for you. I'm so sorry you never had a chance to even say goodbye to your mom. I completely agree about The Lord giving us strength during this time of overwhelming grief. I'm Catholic and believe my mom is in heaven…"
7 hours ago
Rita commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Before my life changed on July 5, 2016 I was going to my Dads 3 times a week. I cooked, did his laundry, played dominoes, took him to doctor appointments, picked up prescriptions, bought his groceries and filled his pill box and whatever else needed…"
8 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Nancy is right Olive seeing a physician is good, I did also. I truly believe that God is giving me strength to see me through losing my mom. I don't know if you read the beginning of my post, my mom died suddenly and unexpectedly from cardiac…"
8 hours ago
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My heart goes out to you, Olive. That type of anxiety is crippling. I'm glad you have a physician who is making sure your symptoms are treated. I have experienced those symptoms at a younger age after being severely injured in an automobile…"
9 hours ago
JO B replied to JO B's discussion mad at god
10 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Olive, the answer is yes, I have extreme anxiety, I shake, its awful, even though it has been over a year, I did not want to take and SSRI, I practice yoga, it helps, but not enough. I was wondering if anyone else suffered from this. I pray it goes…"
10 hours ago
Olive commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Nancy, Theresa, and Bluebell,  Thank you so very much for responding to my post.  I am so sorry for the losses of your dear moms.  I feel like I don't know how to exist in the world without her.  I have a wonderful…"
11 hours ago
JO B commented on Diana, Grief Counselor's blog post After Death Communication
12 hours ago
BLUEBELL replied to BLUEBELL's discussion Lost my Mom
"Take care too Raina. I am not having a good morning , so I am short on words. What I am hanging on to is the faith that I know it will get better and I will move on with my life. I just do not know when that will be. Maybe it will be tomorrow and…"
18 hours ago
Louise commented on Louise's blog post Can't cope
"Thank you Morgan, your support means so much to me, I was in a bad place when I wrote this. I don't really have many people to talk to; there were loads of people there for me just after he died, but everyone has drifted away. My very best…"
18 hours ago
Raina2012 replied to BLUEBELL's discussion Lost my Mom
"Being your mothers caregiver must have been hard. And now that she is gone its all different. I think maybe you should try to stay at your house. My mom and i had an apartment together and i am trying to break the lease because i cant live there. To…"
18 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Nancy, what you said is true, my mom was all I had, I miss her everyday and I don't cry everyday anymore, I try not to, just when I need to.  But I try to get ahold of myself. It just feels as though this part of my heart will never…"
22 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Mary
"Mary, You have perfectly expressed the suffering of all of us who come here and are trying to manage.  How do we have any hope or get through a day?  No one has an answer.  We all just take baby steps towards what a day might hold.…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Louise's blog post Can't cope
"Louise,  Just  keep trying.  Baby steps.  Thats all any of us can do.  We keep trying to get through another day because there is only one other option which is not really desirable.  Do you have anyone who really…"
yesterday
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Misty. I'm so thankful to hear your results were negative for cancer! My heart goes out to you that you couldn't have your mom by your side going through all of that. It's harder for me to share things with my dad as well, but my…"
yesterday
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Olive. Theresa and I have been going through the same thing. It's almost 2 years since I lost my sweet mom. It sounds like our moms were very much alike. I still cry privately each day. I have an underlying sadness during even the happiest…"
yesterday
Rita commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"I haven't posted anything in a while but I come here to read stories about the losses we (mostly) Mothers are going through. Looking for answers and knowing in my heart there are none...My Jesse was 38 days away from being 38 years old. Why do…"
yesterday

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