Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone.
Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter
First- welcome to Missing My Son or Daughter. Only I truly wish you all didn't know this agony & loss. But, we all do - We may be able to help each other by sharing our story & connecting with people who truly understand us.
((( HUGS to you ALL))) Karen
((( HUGS to you ALL))) Karen
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by sheryl annette morgan on -
i lost my son Lee on october 4 2009 i can t put into words the utter sense of pain shock and disbelief that as become a daily part of my life.The day he died i lost a part of myself that i know i will never get back again.I keep on going for the sake of my daughter and husband when all i really wish for is to go to my Lee.He was 20 when he passed it was the blackest day of my life .I put on a brave face for my family and friends but inside i am tortured with agony and pain.I can t really talk about my true feelings as i know people find it hard .Ihope somehow i will find comfort and understanding here.
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Permalink Reply by Karen on -
Sheryl - I am so sorry about Lee - "I know it is all just soooo wrong"
I hope you do find comfort here- We do all understand !!!
As for myself - talking to others who get my words like I understand & get every word you said-
that is a comfort to me - just to feel like someone gets me.
Although like in your case- I ache to know that others are as destroyed as I am.
I am sending you the biggest ((HUG))
Sorry- I am not one of those people that have all these wonderful - uplifting things to say to you - I just hurt- Life can really suck- You deserved to have your son in your life & He deserved to live---- !!! Love to you across the miles.... !!! Karen
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Permalink Reply by Gail Richardson on -
Hugs Karen - I so feel for you sweetie - life really isn't fair (((HUGS)))
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Permalink Reply by sheryl annette morgan on
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Karen only just came back to the site today been trying to do 'NORMAL' and struggling badly!Im so sorry about your son Brad the pain and agony we feel is afeeling no person should ever feel!At the moment feeling so helpless ,my daughter Danny ( she s 22 and a year older than Lee) is acting so out of character and I know that it s Lee s passing is the reason.When he passed I fell apart and she was my rock infact if it was nt for my husband and her I would nt be sitting here today.I went for counselling ( though did ntfeel it helped) and asked her to go as well ,she would nt and all her emotion s are locked inside .We have a very close relationship but I can t get her to open,I know she s blocking all her emotions and know it s not healthy , never been in this situation before and really don t know what to do.Please Karen if you have any advice i m all ears!
As for me really don t know how Im feeling all I know is Imiss my Lee every minute of every day, the house is so quiet without him infact life is so quiet without him! I m constantly reading books on the afterlife at the moment it s all thats keeping me sane whether it s sane or not i don t know but there again what is sane anymore?
All our family live in the UK ( been living in Cape Town for the last 6 years) although they all were here for the funeral they had to go back to their lives,so feeling very lonely !Did nt go back to work after Lee could nt bear to be around people in fact I ve pretty much become a recluse really don t know where my days go so sick of waking up and dreading the day ahead .
You are so right he deserved to live as did your son and life does BIG time!!
Thanks for listening karen .
Lots of hugs and loves
Sheryl
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Permalink Reply by Gail Richardson on
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Hi Sheryl - so sorry to meet you in these circumstances. Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a human being and we are in this 'closed club' where only WE understand that pain.
You are in the first stages of this awful journey and the road ahead is full of pitfalls. Together, we can make it to the next stage and the next. Sharing with other bereaved parents has been my lifeline over the last almsot 9 years but I can tell you that the pain never ever goes away. We just learn how to deal with it in time. Please feel free to rant, rave and scream here - we understand.
Bless you hun
love Gail xxx
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Permalink Reply by sheryl annette morgan on
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Thanks Gail for your reply,knowing that you ve lived with your grief for nine years and made it through gives me a glimmer of hope.My emotions are all over the place I never know which me is going to wake up in the mornings,some days i seem to have a bit of normality and feel that i m managingto get through then for no reason whatsoever Ifall hard into a horrible black hole and it takes me days to climb out of it.Lee s 21st birthday was on january 31st the hopelessness and pain i felt was excruciating,I should have been giving a speech of what a blessing he is in my life and how much i love him not screaming and crying like a mad women.My only peace of mind is knowing that one day i ll be with him again,I know he s always with me in spirit but I just want to hold him in my arms again and never let him go.Some days I want to look at his photos all day ,other days the pain is to much and I can t bear to see them.I never ever knew that any human being could experience such agonising grief that it physically hurts,I actually feel at times Im losing my mind!
lots of hugs and loves
Sheryl
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Permalink Reply by Ken Ciolek on -
Sheryl - I am so sorry too hear about Lee - I lost my daughter in December, very unexpected and still waiting for an answer, which I fear we will never get. Believe me I grieve any chance I get, I break down in work, on the train but for me I have to try and stay stron for my wife and son, in addition my wife is unemployed so I have to stay sane to go to work every day. My wife feels and sounds just the way you feel, I feel I should be doing more to comfort her but don't want to say the wrong things and upset her.
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Permalink Reply by Ken Ciolek on
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Hi Sheryl,
Thanks for responding to my post, I would like to talk to you more, can you email me directly at kciolek@optonline.net. Having a hard time and just don't know what to do for my wife.
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Permalink Reply by jennifer on -
My 2 yr old was brutally murdered on April 22,2009 by my ex-boyfriend.A person who me and my kids love and trusted.He used that to kill my son and sometimes I feel so guilty beccause I didnt protect my son.I told him no one would ever hurt him and now he is gone.I woke up this morning and it hit me all over again that he isnt here
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Permalink Reply by Gail Richardson on
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Jennifer - please don't feel guilty that you were taken in by your ex. So often the people we think we know turn out to be complete strangers and worse. I'm certain that you would have protected him had you any idea of what was going on. I'm so sorry for your loss - I cannot imagine the pain you are in and can only offer my comfort to you and the understanding that the loss of a child is the most awful thing anyone has to suffer. You are still in the very first stages of grief, I'm quite sure that the approaching date is filling you with dread. Please know that we are here for you - don't feel alone with your pain. We understand it and will help you to get through. Sending you hugs and strength
Gail x
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Permalink Reply by Anna B on -
We lost our little Kai Pie a few days after his first birthday. Kai was delivered 14 weeks early. After 11 months in the NICU, he was finally was ready to come home, but in hindsight, the steroids were already turning on him. Kai was only home for a total of 13 days. Three 911 calls and a weekend in the hospital later, and Kai was back in the Peds ward for what turned out to be the last four weeks of his life. We lived there with him and prayed constantly for, yet, another miracle. Kai had already survived so much... he just had to get better again, but he didn't. Kai little lungs just gave out on him and he slipped off to heaven in my arms. The room was full of our friends, family and dozens of nurses and doctors that loved Kai just as much as we did. And they all crowded around him and said their goodbyes and beautifully loved us through the hardest moments of our lives.
We miss our long awaited, beautiful baby boy so very much!
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Permalink Reply by Gail Richardson on
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Anna - I'm so sorry for your loss - I'm so sorry little Kai never got more time with you.
My daughter Meshael was taking steroids for a long time - she had a terminal genetic disorder and although the steroids gave her a little more strength they did damage to her as well. It's a hard thing to call. But I can see from your words here that Kai had the most wonderful loving family and friends and during his short life was loved beyond all measure.
Losing a child is the most painful experience - the pain just never goes away completely.
Try to remember the happy moments and block out the painful memories where you can. That's what I had to do to get through. It takes time and you will shed a load of tears but remember that there is always someone here who can help you through those hard times, just because we understand.
Hugs to you
Gail x
Your little Kai will watch over you always and
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