Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Has anyone else lost their faith? I have. It's not just that I'm mad at God for taking my son. I feel no relief at all from praying. I tried right after the accident, went to church and it just left me feeling empty.I've know people who got a lot of comfort from praying but I feel nothing at all. If there is a heaven I don't want my son to be there, I want him to be here. If for some reason( he questioned the exsitance of God and was searching for answers) he is not in heaven I don't want to be there without him. I wouldn't want to spend eternity without him. I guess it is easier to just quit believing in anything. People tell me they are praying for me and I think to myself it is a waste of time because it doesn't help.
I didn't believe in god before and I certainly do NOT now. Praying didn't help my son, and funny you should say about the people praying for you, two people blessed him and prayed for him the day he passed away.
my journey is different now, I wouldn't say that I have lost my faith but rather He is showing me a different way of walking... a much deeper faith.
I was brought up in a christian missionary family, so I have God as centre of my life for a long time .... but when the accident happened and I lost my beautiful 17 year old daughter, all that I knew, everything that I believed in was thrown out the window, things like heaven ... did I really believe there is a heaven, is my daughter not alone, every single thing I have had to rethink and come out the other side with a more personal view ....... haven't quite got there yet.
When we loose someone so dear we become shattered, and even the very friends we have get thrown into the air and some land close to you and some land far away. All I could do and still do is eat the crumbs from under His table as they are all that I can grasp, can't even read the bible, so what I do is get a devotional app on my phone that comes up everyday ... just small snippets.
I listen to music that will lift me up and encourage me.
And yes I get angry inside with people who say "Ill pray for you" perhaps they do ... but a lot of the time they say that because they don't know what to say. Don't give up on God my friend, and yes you are allowed to get angry... I have. but then also tell him your hurts, ask him to bring some people who will encourage you ... walk along side you..... cry with you.... or just sit with you.
The other day I cried out "really God... really, you really want to go there" I was mad and that's ok
Nothing will take that terrible empty feeling we now carry along with us, and I really hate that feeling, but what I have decided to do is just take one day at a time, and ask him to help even when I feel that he is sooooo far away.
I'm not trying to make anyone mad or feel bad, but every day that goes on, I have no faith whatsoever. There's no sense that my child died -- that any child dies -- that anyone or anything suffers so. Believing in god is an act of profound faith, and though I was a "seeker" before, that even isn't in the equation anymore. But I do hope, Sharon, that your faith brings you some relief.
In the Jewish religion, we do not believe in Satan. The Old Testament does not address that. But if this gives someone solace, then so be it. For me, there is no good reason for suffering and death, especially of the young.
Thanks Dennis I know these scriptures well.... I know that God has a plan for my life and I know that with this pain I am going thru will someday be used for the good ...just not right now as healing needs to take place.
I do not blame God at all for what happened to my daughter..... that doesn't mean that I am not feeling such grief and pain because I am...I feel totally shattered but in all that I am choosing to and by Gods grace become a person that can walk with others who are hurting. I pray that her death will not be in vain and that good things will grow out of it