I can relate to almost everything I read here.....I lost my Mom on 9/24/2017.  We lived together since 2008.  I became her primary care giver in 2011 after she broke her hip.  She developed Dementia after that surgery.  She was my best friend.  As hard as the last few years were.........trying to keep her from getting out of the house and wandering........keeping my career going while keeping her safe and "healthy" and finding care to be with her, I can't stand not having her anywhere..........I can't stand it.  My 4 siblings are on disconnect with her or I.  I feel like I have served my purpose by giving her a good end of life in the comfort of her own home.  I kept her social and loved to the end.  I feel shattered and lost........

Views: 191

Replies to This Discussion

I lived with my mother my entire life except during a failed marriage and a 2 year stint. She had a bad back until the stroke. I had to watch her in pain 24/7. She was mother first, best friend second, and soul mate forever. She died today in 2017. I miss her so much it makes me sick. We were attached at the hip. You seen me you seen her and vice versa. 

Meaning, I relate to your pain. I didn't mean to sound cold, my grief has turned me into a daughter who misses her mother. I'll keep you in my prayers. <3

I’m sorry for your pain, but I understand how you hurt.. my mom passed on December 2017, she lived with me since 2007..we went to the mall, movies and outings with my husband .. we three were always out together.. she had Congestive heart failure.. I cry for her every day, the pain is unbearable, she was my strength, my best friend, . Last 2 weeks of her life, she told me to please don’t cry for her, to be happy that she would no longer be in pain.. I payed in bed with her for 8 days , would leave her with my sister or niece , and run to bathe or bathroom and was so afraid to leave her and she would pass .. she died in my arms, I made sure she always knew I was there with her as I had promised her .. god it hurts so much, I would give anything to hold her one more time and kiss her lips and hands as I use too .. how do I go on ??? 

I no your heartache. .today is 3 months my mother passed.. she believe she is with you always..Talk to her also..it helps..and if it is a question you have for her she will answer because you know what her answer will be.some days are harder than others stay busy as much as possible. .hold her close to your heart..wear a piece of her jewelry. .and pray for strength every day..sounds like you have very good memores of her..some people are not so lucky..God Bless you

Rhonda,

thank you for your kind reply . It gives me some comfort to know my grieving for my mom is normal..  there are days I feel as if I’m suffocating the pain is so unbearable .  My husband and I had my mom living with us for the past nine years,  my life revolved around her.. The three of us were always out at the movies,eating , at the mall and now that she’s gone I don’t want to go nowhere’s.  I don’t want to leave the house , I want to be where I can smell her gowns, , go into her bedroom and her TV room ; where I feel her presence.. where do I began to except she’s not coming back .  I had some baby monitors in each room so I could hear when my mother needed me and she called for me ; last night I fell asleep in her lifter chair, I clearly heard her calling my name and I answered her “mom I’m coming “ as I sat up ,  I realized she was gone and it was a dream ; but dear Lord I clearly heard her voice calling me .. dear lord, HOW, WHERE , WHEN does the pain ease a little  !! 

Patricia..I know and understand  where your at..I also woke up hearing my moms voice..my eyes opened wide..they say hearing your loved ones voice is there way of saying there with you..I know the feeling of not wanting to go out..sometimes you have to force yourself..even if it's just a walk..keep yourself busy around the house..do these things for yourself..your mom would want you too..if not yourself ..for her.. and talk to her..and pray..everyone is different in grieving and time is different as well..don't guestions how long it takes..just take day by day..God Bless you..just know your mom would not want you to be hard on yourself and would want you to go on with your life..just give yourself time

Patrica..please don't guestion how long this grieve will last..time heals minute  by minute..day by day. Ask God to guide you and give you strength..some days I will feel fine and then out of no where it hits me with my thoughts. And I go back to thinking about the past..it's like I have to train my thoughts to keep peace in my mind from going crazy..like  I should of done or said to her..so I just stay busy or walk on the treadmill or swim..clean house. Take one day at a time as it comes..we have to try and remember ..our mother would not want us to grieve like this..and wants us to be happy..so we have to go on as hard as it is.. they are at peace and would want us to be at peace as well.. God Bless

I to lost my mother 12-1 -17..I feel I have lost my heart as well.. life does go on.. no matter how we feel .. we have to continue to live our life..that is what our mother would want us to do

Jennifer..I know the feeling of loss..something about losing a mother that makes it harder.. give yourself credit where where it's well deserved..and please know regreats.. everyone has them...no matter what..just know that you did your best in caring for your mother..

I to..took care of my mother..it was not easy..but I did my best..I retired to care for both my parents..my dad still here with me..just pray for strength.. it sounds like you took good care of her..I'm sure she knows how much you did for her and loves you even more for all your help..take care and God Bless you

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

Dolly commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Do we ever stop having those days that seem just like the day it all happened? when nothing else seems real and all we feel is the pain again? does it ever just not happen any more? "
1 hour ago
Martha Dee is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
5 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Part 2Linda, yes and yes, I "laugh on the outside and cry on the inside".  And the laugh (or just plain conversation) is just part of how I cope for when I have to be around others.  But it means nothing.  It’s like we…"
6 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Part 1 Bless you and thanks to each one of you who keep writing about how you feel and how you cope.  I always feel support knowing I am not alone.  What I don't get (and not that any one of us can give it) is the answer to how I can…"
7 hours ago
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's a Catch 22, impossible to solve.  I accept Her body isn't alive anymore, but I HAVE TO HAVE HER BODY ALIVE AND STILL WITH ME and I want that to be forever.  I know that's impossible, but I STILL HAVE TO HAVE IT!!! …"
12 hours ago
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie I'm sorry but just know your words do stay in my head. Keven's mom...I'm so sorry that phone came.  There's nothing I can say or do to make this easier on you.  Just know we know exactly how you feel.  Your…"
12 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Friends, As all of you have stated, I too fake my happiness. I laugh on the outside and am crying for him on the inside. I ache so bad that my Julian is not in my life. I just don't understand why God won't take me. Until he does, I…"
16 hours ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan.  I wish I had answers but I am in the very same place.  Lost, fake and hollow.  I feel worse than I did a year ago I think because I thought I would feel better and don't. Empty and apathetic.  I'm tired all the…"
yesterday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, I don't know why this has happened to us, our soulmates being torn from us, but it fucking sucks. Have you considered not acting happy and normal, since that isn't how you feel? Especially if acting that way isn't helping…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Please somebody, tell me how I can continue to do this.  I am so depressed.  I get up every day and pretend.  It's what is making me so depressed.  It looks like I am functioning so normally.  Now that I have learned…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Danny. Surviving is art which we all need to practice. Today I met a friend whose father is witnessing the similar illness as my mother i.e. late stage cancer. He is also going through the same emotional turmoil as I went in 2018. After this…"
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Danny. I hear you.  December will be 4 years "
Saturday
Danny replied to Carla Rose's discussion Lost my Mom a Few Days Ago in the group Lost Without My Mom
"Great reply Sandra"
Saturday
Danny updated their profile
Saturday
Danny commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Its been 5 years and here I am back on the site. Surviving and functioning but just about. "
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Wonderful Avi!!!  "
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Amen, Avi."
Saturday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks all. This group is my extended family. "
Saturday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, that is so lovely to hear — best wishes to her and your family!"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"That's wonderful, Avi. Congratulations. And I wish you another 100 years with her."
Friday

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service