Lost My Spouse...

Members: 368
Latest Activity: Jan 13

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Lost my wife 16 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Ellis Gee Dec 28, 2019.

My Love

On November 6 of this year, I lost my husband in a tragic automobile accident. We live in Georgia and the accident was in Montana making it more difficult. I am completely lost as we were best…Continue

Started by Kathy West Dec 28, 2019.

The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

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Comment by Lani M. on December 25, 2019 at 11:56am
I know Christmas is hard on all of us who have lost our beloved spouse but I try to keep in mind that they are in a good and beautiful place. I know that someday I will join Jim when God is done with me here on Earth. I truly believe that I have been left here for some purpose and when that is fulfilled the Good Lord will call me home where I will rejoin my loved ones. Even though I am hurting, sad, and lonely, I try to take comfort in knowing that Jim is still with me in spirit and watching over me in all that I do. I talk to him every day and even though I can't hear his voice I know that he hears every word I say. I tell him every day that I love and miss him and I can feel his love surrounding me. This is what keeps me going and able to deal with each day.
Comment by Linda Engberg on December 23, 2019 at 5:31am

I know most of us will not have a Merry Christmas but we will put on a smiley face for the sake of others. If it were not for my Sweet Babie J I wish I could fall asleep for Christmas Eve under after New Year's Day.  

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 13, 2019 at 5:38am

Thanks Morgan. I wish for my own death also. I pray there is a Heaven so I can be with my Julian and all the that people that were close to me.

Comment by morgan on December 12, 2019 at 9:22pm

Linda,  I am so sorry to hear of more loss in your life.  I don't know about you but I end up just dissolving when I hear of loss.  Mine or anyone else's.  Grief has given me one thing. The overarching aching desire to die.  Not by my own hand (yet) but I simply crave my own death.  My only goal is to die as soon as possible.  Crazy I know but it is an overwhelming desire now.  Can't explain it to anyone who is not in the same state of mind as me but here I am.  Tomorrow would be fine. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 12, 2019 at 7:20am

Lost two more relatives this week.

Comment by Joe Kelly on December 9, 2019 at 3:46pm


I too wish you didn't have to find your way here.  I identify with your feeling alone even around our children and grands.  That was very loving and sweet of your grand daughter.  Read and post here.  It doesn't make it easier but knowing there are others like us, we're not alone.  I meet many at the cemetery.  When I see some that come often, I say hello and we share our grief.  I've even met one who like myself had an OBE or some call it a NDE.  We know we will be someday reunited with the ONE we became ONE with when it is our time to pass over.  That's about all I can say right now.  Stay close.


Comment by morgan on December 8, 2019 at 12:16pm


I hardly know what to say other than you have come to a place where we all know the anguish and heartache that you are feeling.  Death is hard enough to stomach but to have your husband murdered is beyond my imagination.  Although I think most of us feel robbed.  And all of us, even with family and friends, find it oh so difficult to get through a day. Processing the feelings we are having is an uphill battle.  

I am almost at seven years. This morning I said goodbye to a good friend who I had taken in my home for the last year and half for him to try and rescue himself after a suicide attempt that almost succeeded.  He is moving to a good place and though I thought I was ready as I need to reclaim my space again it all came crashing down because the worst part of death for me is the inextinguishable loss.  I CANNOT handle loss anymore.  I am bereft and alone and inconsolable and yet I have to get up day to day and get what needs to get done.. done.  I am 67 and long for the day I no longer have to deal with how the feelings of loss hit me when and where they want.  You are in the earliest of stages and everything you do will remind you of what was.  The best advice I ever got was to take baby steps.  Sometimes it is just to get to the next minute and sometimes you can make through an hour or maybe several.  Eating and sleeping will become elusive but try to do what you can when you can.  For the first year I slept alot.  I would just fall out.  The shock is more than our minds and body are equipped to understand so taking it minute to minute is the best way to manage.  

I wish you didn't have to join us here.  No one wants to be here but for those of us whose lives have been so altered we come here because we know others like us will be here.  Read, write and cope.  Nothing else I can say.......caring for you and all of us......


Comment by Linda Engberg on December 7, 2019 at 5:28am


So sorry for your loss. Yes I know how you feel and it is a horrible thing to go through. Everyone in this forum care for one other and it is a place to go to share your most inner thoughts.

God Bless You and Your Family

Comment by Wendy on December 6, 2019 at 3:53pm

This is the first year in 31 years that my husband will not be here. I've not put up a tree or participated in any holiday celebrations. Instead, my Son, unpacked our tree and decorations we had collected thru the years and while visiting his family at Thanksgiving, decorated his home with them just as his dad had done all these years. It was beautiful but bittersweet.  My 5 year old granddaughter announced she would be asking Santa for Grandpa to come back. This of course reduced me to tears. It was always he and I, and our three sons and their families. Somehow even amongst my family, I feel out of place, and still alone. I wasn't supposed to be staying at my son's house, waking up there alone on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'd hosted the holidays all these years. I miss him terribly each day. Trying to navigate this life id known that was abruptly changed is so hard, it's all so different. I wasn't supposed to be a widow at 53. 8 weeks after my husband was murdered my mom passed away. This is my first holiday without her as well. My two go to people all my life, gone, just like that. Thank you for providing me a safe forum to navigate this process, learn from others, share. Here, I know, you truly do know how I feel. Thank you for being here. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 6, 2019 at 8:12am


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Billy Jo Colt left a comment for Miriam Holmes
"Hi Miriam, You have my deepest admiration and empathy. I don't have any family left to speak of. For years there was no one to talk to about my daily life. Although I found it difficult to be open with people and preferred to help them rather…"
1 hour ago
M Adams commented on Miriam Holmes's blog post Healing Repetition
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Shirelle posted a status
"It will be 2 months since my son pass I'm feel do lost I'm don't want to work but have bills I don't want to talk to anyone just want to cry"
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Miriam Holmes posted a blog post

Healing Repetition

An uncle in our family committed suicide.  For five years his wife, Aunt Alice, said the same things over and over again to anyone who would listen.  We are a loving family, so we listened and said the same hopefully comforting things back to her again and again.  And after five years she was done and could move on.  I hope it doesn't take five years, but I need to talk about my Uncle Jim and my cousin Paul and probably repeat myself a lot. It took a long time to develop my relationship with…See More
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Katherine A Pericas Geersten commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, My name is Katherine.  I am learning how to deal with the loss of my mom, she passed away two months ago.My mom was never my best friend, but she was so much more. She made me the person that I am today and living without her has…"
Katherine A Pericas Geersten joined Karen's group

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Katherine A Pericas Geersten posted a discussion

Hello, a little bit about me.

Two months ago, my mom committed suicide. As of now, this has to be one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with in my life. I hope that through this forum I may be able to just reach out to someone who can kind of understand what my situation is like.My friends try to talk to me (and I do reach out to them) but I feel that the situation I am in is a really heavy thing to talk about (basically I don't want to rope my friends into my troubles, nor do I want to be a burden to them). I talk to…See More
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Miriam Holmes left a comment for Dona Fiedler
"Dona, I am so sorry for your pain.  A difficult relationship like yours always leaves all sorts of conflicting feelings that are hard to sort out.  I hope that the support you receive here will help you find your way to a better place."
Miriam Holmes left a comment for Dona Fiedler
"Hi, I'm brand new, too.  I needed some place to talk out the grief that other people don't understand and don't really want to listen to.  Hopefully, this will be a helpful place for both of us.  Whatever your loss, I…"
Miriam Holmes posted a blog post

The Little Things

This morning there was a crescent moon.  I always called it a "fingernail moon," but my cousin Paul called it a "toenail moon."  I got all choked up seeing it.  Then the Valentine cards are out at Walmart.  He loved all the holidays, and I always sent him cards.  But no more.  More tears to fight back.  Sometimes his love for you would overflow, and he would just have to give you a big hug and tell you that he loved you right then and there.  I have never had anyone else do that for me.  I knew…See More
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Shirelle posted a status
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Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
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Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.See More
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