Information

Lost My Spouse...

Members: 367
Latest Activity: 12 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Lost my wife 15 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Monty Nov 6.

The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Lost My Spouse... to add comments!

Comment by Fran on November 28, 2019 at 7:32am

Linda we share your pain here. It's been 5 years for me. I find myself increasingly pulling back, esp. at Holidays. I just wish family understood better that it's hard for us to celebrate anything. I don't wish this apathy on anyone. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on November 28, 2019 at 6:36am

Today is the 7th year of not sharing Thanksgiving with my Husband. I will be spending it alone from now on. It is to hard to bear seeing everyone happy and I am tired of faking it.

Comment by morgan on November 16, 2019 at 5:40am

Linda,

Your post is a perfect description of where I'm at.

Morgan

Comment by Linda Engberg on November 15, 2019 at 6:12am

Comment by Trina Mamoon on November 14, 2019 at 10:54pm

morgan,

Your message is so moving! Every word you say rings so true! I could have written the message. You express my innermost thoughts and wishes. It's been a little over five years for me since Joseph has been gone, but I feel his lack as deeply as I did when I first lost him.

I, too, keep myself busy. but it doesn't do much to alleviate the pain, the void that I feel because I have lost the love of my life. I just wait for my natural end. I am afraid that it could be a while since I just turned 59, and my mother and aunts all lived into their eighties. This thought is so frightening and depressing! But I will wait for my natural end. It will come someday, but not soon enough. What a way to live one's life, waiting for the end. But without Joseph with me, my life is meaningless.

My empathy to you morgan, and to Linda, Joe, and Monty, and all others here who are in the same boat as we are. Let us be granted peace.

Comment by Joe Kelly on November 14, 2019 at 9:11pm

I still can't see pics here so don't know if it posted.

Comment by Joe Kelly on November 14, 2019 at 9:10pm

Jonathan, I meant to respond to your post when I read it but forgot. We're all in the same boat because we were all ONE with our Loves. You'll notice by our sharing here that it just doesn't get better for us. Keep sharing here.  It helps that we know that we're not alone.

Comment by Joe Kelly on November 14, 2019 at 2:00pm

I'm still a mess too Morgan and it just keeps getting worse.  Nothing but going to her will ever help me not be in agony every second of every day.  That being said, it has to happen naturally which really sucks because we don't know when.  It will happen someday though and to spend eternity with her, I'll suffer for as long as it takes.  It's only 4 days away from when she vomited and 6 days away from when she was in the hospital and 64 days till she passed, two years ago.  December 3rd would had been our 50th wedding anniversary and was planning such a great vacation to celebrate it a year before she got sick.  I'm dreading that day, as I am dreading the holidays coming up.  I spend 2 to 3 hour every day at the cemetery.  It'll be all day on Dec. 3rd.  I have such hopes that I die on that day.  What a gift to her that would make.  But I don't think I'm that lucky so not counting on it.  I'm in my 70th year now, not in good health, so it can't be that far off.  Just have to suffer and wait till this damned body of mine gives up.  That's my only "till then".  Joe

Comment by Linda Engberg on November 14, 2019 at 2:00pm

Hi Morgan,

Once again your have posted my exact feelings on losing my beloved Julian. 7 years also.

Life does not go on for me, I am just existing until death takes me and the sooner the better.

Comment by Monty on November 6, 2019 at 4:00pm

Hi All

its been a while since I've posted here, life has been very busy (working looking after the kids and exercising and whatnot).

I hope everyone is well.

I'm going to preface this post with a comment "everyone's journey through grief is different and I don't for one minute expect any of the journeys I've had would be similar to others"

 

I thought that I would drop in and let people know how things are progressing for me.

mostly well.

I've for the last 6-9 months I've been dieting (more like not eating any sugar and trying to eat more whole foods, salad vegies and the likes of).  this has been amazing for me and I've lost over 16Kg about 35 pounds so far

I've been listening to positive audiobooks while out on a walk.

I continue to go to my men's group ( widowers at the bar) and have recently concluded another six-session counselling sessions.

For me focusing on the positives in life has made a huge difference.

Don't get me wrong; I still have moments where I miss my carol deeply and some days it seems to shake me like a tree in a cyclone.

Although I still remember all the good things that carol and l had, I remember whats she said to me in the last few days I had her "she wanted me to live life as she couldn't" with her condition.

I try to honour her by doing the best I can for the boys and me. And push my self to be a little better than the day before.

I've also joined a facebook group "Widowers Support Network"  its a closed group for men.. sorry lady's

its been very good for discussing feelings, questions and advice.

in closing, for me, grief has been a traumatic experience in the near two years since carols passing, and the grief of coping with her debilitating condition and the knowledge that my boys may head down the same path.

I think I've come to grips with most of it 

I continue as written by Dylan Thomas wrote in one of his poem's

"Do not go gentle into that good night, Rage, rage against the dying of the light"

I continue to fight against my dark moments, negativity and things that do not have a positive effect on my and my family's life.

 

please have the very best day you can

 

Members (367)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Morgan. I wish for my own death also. I pray there is a Heaven so I can be with my Julian and all the that people that were close to me."
12 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda,  I am so sorry to hear of more loss in your life.  I don't know about you but I end up just dissolving when I hear of loss.  Mine or anyone else's.  Grief has given me one thing. The overarching aching desire to…"
21 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lost two more relatives this week."
yesterday
Linda mendenhall left a comment for Linda mendenhall
"I miss my mom every day"
yesterday
Linda mendenhall left a comment for Linda mendenhall
"I lost my mom to cancer Dec 2018 I 5ook care of her for 8 years"
yesterday
Danielle Emenhiser updated their profile
yesterday
Profile IconLinda mendenhall, Ellen costa and Danielle Emenhiser joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
Wendy Zwickl is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Monday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Wendy, I too wish you didn't have to find your way here.  I identify with your feeling alone even around our children and grands.  That was very loving and sweet of your grand daughter.  Read and post here.  It doesn't…"
Monday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Wendy, I hardly know what to say other than you have come to a place where we all know the anguish and heartache that you are feeling.  Death is hard enough to stomach but to have your husband murdered is beyond my imagination.  Although I…"
Sunday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Wendy, So sorry for your loss. Yes I know how you feel and it is a horrible thing to go through. Everyone in this forum care for one other and it is a place to go to share your most inner thoughts. God Bless You and Your Family"
Dec 7
Wendy commented on Susie H's group surviving family members' murders
"My heart goes out to you as I recently experienced the loss of my husband who was murdered. We had been together 31 years, married 27. I remember as if it was yesterday, the phone call, the driving frantically to reach the crime scene, waiting for…"
Dec 6
Wendy joined Susie H's group
Dec 6
Wendy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This is the first year in 31 years that my husband will not be here. I've not put up a tree or participated in any holiday celebrations. Instead, my Son, unpacked our tree and decorations we had collected thru the years and while visiting his…"
Dec 6
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Dec 6
Wendy joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Dec 4
Wendy joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Thumbnail

Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
Dec 4
Wendy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Dec 4
jacq kramer joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Thumbnail

Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
Dec 3
Marie Eaddy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Dec 3

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service