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Lost My Spouse...

Members: 364
Latest Activity: yesterday

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by morgan on May 8, 2019 at 11:45am

Linda, You capture the true essence of our grief in the pictures and prose that you share with us.  The last line says it all doesn't it?

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 8, 2019 at 6:47am

Comment by Joe Kelly on May 7, 2019 at 9:17am

Linda, yes we are so few in number.  Whenever I talk about the true love we had for each other throughout our entire lives, so many replied that very few couples ever have or had that, especially in this day and age.  Many don't even find any love at all.  I thank her every day for the wonderful life she gave me and can't wait for it to continue forever.  The majority don't believe we can exist after we shed our bodies.  They might say they believe in God or some kind of creator, but live like this is it, so make the best of it.  I believe you end up where you believe you will.  Especially having experienced an OBE.  Where does that leave them?  Do whatever it takes not to relent on reuniting with Julian.  He is waiting for you. 

Comment by bluebird on May 6, 2019 at 3:18pm
Exactly right, Joe.
Comment by Linda Engberg on May 6, 2019 at 3:06pm

Joe,

True statement Joe, I have been on so many different meds to help me with my grief but not one of them worked. We are so few in number that they will never be able to fix us until we join our soulmate.

Comment by Joe Kelly on May 6, 2019 at 10:21am

I imagine that there are plenty of the "medical establishment" that visit this site to try to understand what is it that they cannot fix.

The answer is that we didn't just love our spouses, we were truly "In Love" with our spouses throughout most of our lives or many, many years. We became ONE with them and when they departed, we were, and still are, "In Love" with them. We will never not be "In Love" with them, and that is why they can't "fix" us. That is why we want to go where they went. We ARE still "In Love" with them. Our being "In Love" with them is forever. Not "Till death do us part".

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 6, 2019 at 6:29am

Dear Morgan, Bluebird, Trina & Joe

I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for the kind words. Made it through the day with the help of 5 beers.

Like you stated Morgan, I won't chance taking my own life for fear of not seeing him again.

We are the only ones who understand how hard hard it is to keep going in this crummy world. 

Comment by morgan on May 6, 2019 at 12:19am

Tonight I am angry.  I am so angry that I have been left behind to have to deal with this miserable world where I stand alone against all the bruises and bullets of living.  Sorry but tonight I just had to come here and scream at the moon and let the world know I am sick and tired of being sick and tired because for me it means nothing to be here.  Doesn't the universe know I need none of this?  Doesn't it know that I long for an exit?  What is taking so long to release me from this prison? I am so angry at having to live........I don't want to be here without him.  I know all about how I have to wait and not take the chance of being reunited if I go by my own hand but my patience and limits are really being sorely tested.  WTH.

Comment by bluebird on May 5, 2019 at 9:00pm
(((((Linda)))))
Comment by Trina Mamoon on May 5, 2019 at 8:36pm

Dear Linda,

Sending you healing thoughts and prayers for comfort as you face a marker day. Every day is tough for the likes of us, but especially the anniversaries and the birthdays, the marker days. 

I really like your post: "Death changes everything! Time changes nothing!" So very true!

I have a confession to make. I drink a glass or two of wine every evening; it's the only way I can make it through the rest of the night. As Morgan remarked, if a few drinks helps you thorough the pain, then it is necessary. Sometimes some drastic measures are needed to make it through the day, to survive. To each her own poison. But on the other hand, I really don't think having a couple of drinks to ease the pain is such a bad thing. It's not (and this is coming from a Muslim woman!).

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers so that your pain is bearable. Hugs, Trina

 

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Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Happy Father's Day to my Husband Julian in Heaven. I miss you so much."
yesterday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue.  Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves.  In reality, most of my underlying…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"No matter how we express our thoughts, we are all in the same boat together. We just keep waiting for it to sink so we can join our loved ones."
Saturday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"M Adams, I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words.  Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello M Adams Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
Saturday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda.  My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back.  I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
Friday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired.  So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though.  I look here daily to read.…"
Friday
mindy posted a status
"Hello everyone I'm doing ok I went back to work and just had my meeting there today they said I'm doing an awesome job"
Thursday
mindy and Brenda Ann are now friends
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"They told me that Mom had a heart attack.  It happened on the weekend.  I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine.  I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone.  I just…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks so much!  It helps having others that understand.  Some of my family is supportive & that helps.  It helps just having someone listen that truly understands.  I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you. Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you, some days are better than others.  I feel so for you.  My Mom was the center of my world also.  I lived with her & took care of her.  I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"
Thursday
Patrick E Woodson posted a status
"Hello everyone. I lost my best friend two weeks ago. I'm constantly crying feeling like I can't go on."
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I never cried much before, but I do now.  I think crying does help.  I had a trigger this morning & have been crying since.  It has been over three months, but I still feel numb.  "
Thursday

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