Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by morgan on May 8, 2019 at 11:45am

Linda, You capture the true essence of our grief in the pictures and prose that you share with us.  The last line says it all doesn't it?

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 8, 2019 at 6:47am

Comment by Joe Kelly on May 7, 2019 at 9:17am

Linda, yes we are so few in number.  Whenever I talk about the true love we had for each other throughout our entire lives, so many replied that very few couples ever have or had that, especially in this day and age.  Many don't even find any love at all.  I thank her every day for the wonderful life she gave me and can't wait for it to continue forever.  The majority don't believe we can exist after we shed our bodies.  They might say they believe in God or some kind of creator, but live like this is it, so make the best of it.  I believe you end up where you believe you will.  Especially having experienced an OBE.  Where does that leave them?  Do whatever it takes not to relent on reuniting with Julian.  He is waiting for you. 

Comment by bluebird on May 6, 2019 at 3:18pm
Exactly right, Joe.
Comment by Linda Engberg on May 6, 2019 at 3:06pm


True statement Joe, I have been on so many different meds to help me with my grief but not one of them worked. We are so few in number that they will never be able to fix us until we join our soulmate.

Comment by Joe Kelly on May 6, 2019 at 10:21am

I imagine that there are plenty of the "medical establishment" that visit this site to try to understand what is it that they cannot fix.

The answer is that we didn't just love our spouses, we were truly "In Love" with our spouses throughout most of our lives or many, many years. We became ONE with them and when they departed, we were, and still are, "In Love" with them. We will never not be "In Love" with them, and that is why they can't "fix" us. That is why we want to go where they went. We ARE still "In Love" with them. Our being "In Love" with them is forever. Not "Till death do us part".

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 6, 2019 at 6:29am

Dear Morgan, Bluebird, Trina & Joe

I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for the kind words. Made it through the day with the help of 5 beers.

Like you stated Morgan, I won't chance taking my own life for fear of not seeing him again.

We are the only ones who understand how hard hard it is to keep going in this crummy world. 

Comment by morgan on May 6, 2019 at 12:19am

Tonight I am angry.  I am so angry that I have been left behind to have to deal with this miserable world where I stand alone against all the bruises and bullets of living.  Sorry but tonight I just had to come here and scream at the moon and let the world know I am sick and tired of being sick and tired because for me it means nothing to be here.  Doesn't the universe know I need none of this?  Doesn't it know that I long for an exit?  What is taking so long to release me from this prison? I am so angry at having to live........I don't want to be here without him.  I know all about how I have to wait and not take the chance of being reunited if I go by my own hand but my patience and limits are really being sorely tested.  WTH.

Comment by bluebird on May 5, 2019 at 9:00pm
Comment by Trina Mamoon on May 5, 2019 at 8:36pm

Dear Linda,

Sending you healing thoughts and prayers for comfort as you face a marker day. Every day is tough for the likes of us, but especially the anniversaries and the birthdays, the marker days. 

I really like your post: "Death changes everything! Time changes nothing!" So very true!

I have a confession to make. I drink a glass or two of wine every evening; it's the only way I can make it through the rest of the night. As Morgan remarked, if a few drinks helps you thorough the pain, then it is necessary. Sometimes some drastic measures are needed to make it through the day, to survive. To each her own poison. But on the other hand, I really don't think having a couple of drinks to ease the pain is such a bad thing. It's not (and this is coming from a Muslim woman!).

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers so that your pain is bearable. Hugs, Trina


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"Love this Linda.  Thanks for posting it. "
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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My husband was brutly murdered 6 day ago and nothing feels real to me I'm still waiting to wake up or him to call me the pain is unbearable I don't know if I can go on anymore
Deanna N Nash commented on Susie H's group surviving family members' murders
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Deanna N Nash joined Susie H's group
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Robin, thank you.  Bluebird was the honesty that i discovered on this site that made it possible for me to express what I go through.  Several others who write let me know too.  I tend to reach out here, particularly when I am…"
Robin commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan - I lost my husband John, 9 years ago, when he was 46.  I come to this website every now & then, but have only commented a few times.  I relate most to you and Bluebird.  I can't believe it's been 9 years, and…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I really don't know what to say to all the newer people who come here looking for help and comfort because I have struggled for years. I did find an article written by a psychotherapist just the other day that made some sense to me about the…"
Sharon batten posted a discussion

Missing my true love

My partner died 14 weeks ago and I am struggling big time without her, we been together for 10 years and now I have nothing left,
Sharon batten left a comment for Sharon batten
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Profile IconSharon batten, Eileen A. Palazza, Deanna N Nash and 2 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Kathleen Jordan posted photos
Kathleen Jordan commented on Anna-Marie's blog post When does the crying stop.
"Even though dream moon can't do grammar, I agree. It doesn't will hit at moments out of the clear blue....4 years, 9 years or 20.  It is a loss, and it's real."
Kathleen Jordan added 2 discussions to the group What's Next?

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