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Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by bluebird on May 15, 2019 at 1:01pm
Same here, Marita. Things I would have been able to deal with before (either before I met my husband, or while he was here with me), I cannot handle at all now. Any tiny problem is insurmountable. Everything is.

Morgan, I am truly sorry you are having to deal with this additional difficult situation. I hope you are able to resolve it as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Comment by Marita on May 15, 2019 at 11:35am

Morgan,

i live with constant fear and anxiety. Every time I am confronted with a new problem I break down because my husband is not here to support me, to comfort me, to love me and it is a reminder of my loss.  When things become so overwhelming I just shut down and turn inward. People just don't understand that it isn't self pity, it's "wanting things back the way they were" as Linda says.

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 15, 2019 at 6:07am

Morgan,

My whole problem with myself is I just can't accept my Husband's death and there is a not a thing I can do about it. I want things back the way things were. So to avoid all my breakdowns I try to numb myself with beer. I don't get drunk but I do have 3 a day just to keep me numb and it is the only way I can go on without him. I told my therapist all the different meds I try just don't work, so I have to deal with in my own way.

Comment by morgan on May 14, 2019 at 10:28pm

Terrible,horrible, crippling breakdown tonight.  I know what triggered it and it is something I have struggled with all these years and the closer I get to trying to solve it the worse the breakdowns are becoming. Problem is I am still unable to cross the threshold and just get it done.  It seems my brain just wont let me. They seem to be getting worse.  

Does anyone else have these crippling kind of breakdowns when they come up against something they simply cant seem to solve?  

Comment by Joe Kelly on May 11, 2019 at 4:14pm

It's nice you found something special stand out on his last birthday.   Most of my Love's birthdays, I made special.  We were either on a cruise or a nice land vacation every year on her birthday.  Her last birthday was in between trips and all our kids and grands through her a nice birthday party.  They took a video of it and although I have about 700 pics of her from aged two till days before she died, that is the only video I have of her.  Her birthday is Monday, May 13th.  It fell on Mother's day last year and we all went to the cemetery to place flowers.  Today, we went because tomorrow, Mother's day and Monday, her birthday, it will be nothing but rain here.  I'll still be up there as I'm there every day, but chose today for them to be in the sunshine rather than rain.  They brought mixed bouquets for Mothers Day and I brought some nice red roses.  I will be watching her B-day video a few times on Monday.  Enjoy your pics and memories of that early bloom, which seems to be rare where you are at, and, on his last birthday.  Just as it was rare that we were home for a family birthday party on her last birthday.  Comfort be with you, Joe 

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 11, 2019 at 3:39pm

Beautiful Flowers. May God be with you.

 

Comment by M Adams on May 11, 2019 at 11:08am

Today is my husband’s birthday — looking at pictures from his last birthday I was struck by all the roses brought in from the garden that day.  At this time of the year there wouldn’t normally be roses in bloom — today there are just a few green buds out there — but there were many out in full early flower on May 11 2016.

Comment by Joe Kelly on May 8, 2019 at 2:51pm

oh well, at least I know if I post a pic you guys can see it.  But still wish I could.

Linda, yes it is an ongoing nightmare for all of us.  It's like it can't be.  But it is.

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 8, 2019 at 2:46pm

Morgan,

Julian's death is the most horrific thing that ever happened to me.

Joe, wish I could help you but I don't know much about fixing your problem. 

Comment by Joe Kelly on May 8, 2019 at 2:39pm

I wondered why Linda's comment came up blank.  I still cannot see pictures.

 

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Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Lauren A Fernandez is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Nancy, I am sure everyone in our group can relate."
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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yesterday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Love this Linda.  Thanks for posting it. "
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Sunday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I relate to you all who have posted lately.  2 years for me.  2nd year was worse than the first as reality set in and shock lessened.  I am still in a trauma state of mind.  Forgetful, irritable, less patient.  I isolate…"
Saturday
Deanna N Nash added a discussion to the group surviving family members' murders
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Nothing feels real

My husband was brutly murdered 6 day ago and nothing feels real to me I'm still waiting to wake up or him to call me the pain is unbearable I don't know if I can go on anymore
Saturday
Deanna N Nash commented on Susie H's group surviving family members' murders
"6 days ago my husband and soulmate was brutly murdered and everyday gets a little harder I haven't seen him yet he's held up at the corners and I'm terrified to see him but I need to see him to convince my mind that this is real and…"
Saturday
Deanna N Nash joined Susie H's group
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Robin, thank you.  Bluebird was the honesty that i discovered on this site that made it possible for me to express what I go through.  Several others who write let me know too.  I tend to reach out here, particularly when I am…"
Saturday
Robin commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan - I lost my husband John, 9 years ago, when he was 46.  I come to this website every now & then, but have only commented a few times.  I relate most to you and Bluebird.  I can't believe it's been 9 years, and…"
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I really don't know what to say to all the newer people who come here looking for help and comfort because I have struggled for years. I did find an article written by a psychotherapist just the other day that made some sense to me about the…"
Saturday
Sharon batten posted a discussion

Missing my true love

My partner died 14 weeks ago and I am struggling big time without her, we been together for 10 years and now I have nothing left,
Friday
Sharon batten left a comment for Sharon batten
"I hate my life without her now I miss her so much, we been together for 10 years and now I have nothing left"
Friday
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Friday
Kathleen Jordan posted photos
Friday
Kathleen Jordan commented on Anna-Marie's blog post When does the crying stop.
"Even though dream moon can't do grammar, I agree. It doesn't stop...it will hit at moments out of the clear blue....4 years, 9 years or 20.  It is a loss, and it's real."
Friday
Kathleen Jordan added 2 discussions to the group What's Next?
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