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Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Linda Engberg on March 16, 2019 at 6:05am

Hi Joe,

Same as you if I am not posting anymore God has finally taken me. It will be a joyous day.

Comment by Marita on March 15, 2019 at 3:49pm

Hi Joe,

My heart ached for you when I read of your breakdown day.  We feel your intense pain and heartache.  Over time we become so adept at carrying our grief, stuffing it and hiding it.  Yet so many times we become so overwhelmed by it that the dam breaks and the tears flow everywhere. Every breath, every heart beat without the love of our life hurts. This ever present ache will be our companion until our last breath. I hope today is a better one for you.

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 15, 2019 at 5:44am

Hi Joe,

So sorry to hear about your day. My doctor was the same way with me when I had a breakdown, he could have cared less. Thank God for our friends here who truly understand.

Comment by Monty on March 14, 2019 at 5:22pm

Hi Joe

so sorry that your day is worse that usual. hope it gets better (less bad).

Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 14, 2019 at 4:56pm

Joe, So sorry to hear that you are having an extraordinarily bad day... This is the life for us after we are left here in this world without the love of our life beside us.

Comment by bluebird on March 14, 2019 at 3:19pm
"I usually feel like I'm in hell but on days like this, hell must have a basement cause that's where I'm at right now. "

Very well said, an unfortunately so true. I think we've all been there, or are there.
Comment by Linda Engberg on March 13, 2019 at 6:24am

Hello Friends,

Again you all have posted the same thoughts that I have. My sweet little dog Babie J keeps me alive. I am only staying alive for her now. She is 14 years and is my rock right now. I have decided when she goes over the rainbow bridge I will end everything medically. I am in good physical health but the mental part is very sick. I do have medicare and will cease my co-pay and will also stop my prescription pills and just keep hoping I will end this Hellon earth. 

Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 12, 2019 at 8:04pm

Joe,

Thank you for responding to me and more so for sharing the bit about glaucoma. Soon after Joseph died, I had gone for a prescription for eye glasses and was told by the ophthalmologist after he ran tests that I was a high risk person for glaucoma (one of my aunts is blind). I was terrified by the news especially as Joseph had passed recently and the last thing I wanted was to face was life with blindness to add to my utter misery. So again, thank you for your reassuring words: that you were diagnosed with glaucoma forty years ago and your vision is still okay. What a relief!

After Joseph's passing I had been praying constantly for my own death, so when I got the glaucoma diagnosis, being a person of faith, I took it as a sign-- a punishment so to speak--for praying for my own death. I took it as a sign saying that if I think this is bad without Joseph, then it can get even worse, that not only will I not die soon, but I will live for another 20-30 years with blindness. I still pray for my death, but to that I have added that however long I may have to live, whether it is one more year, or twenty more years, please may it be that I have all my mental and physical faculties intact. It's all so complicated...

Best regards, Trina

Comment by bluebird on March 12, 2019 at 7:56pm
morgan,
I understand. I do worry that perhaps there is no afterlife, but ceasing to exist altogether would still be better than this life, for me. I just hope that whatever kills me is quick and painless. I do worry about my family, though, as I know my death will hurt them.
Comment by morgan on March 12, 2019 at 7:45pm

Bluebird, I remember reading about "broken heart" syndrome and wishing that I too would succumb.  Instead here I am today still wishing ANYTHING would take me to the other universe and hoping it is quick, painless and soon.  But then it doesn't seem the universe is paying any attention.  I don't know why.  I plead with it pretty much daily.  As days pass I am discouraged that I am not yet a casualty of something but I keep hoping.  Its pretty much the only thing that really matters........my own death.

 

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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Our last trip together, cruise to the Bahamas. What a great memory."
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dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"sinse goin  to spookss spirtt churchhss it seams to  get me comfott it dz i dt frs fewa; feal alonee i do not not iv sean  peplee in tears ti i do bt so omftin ido not get told how i…"
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"I had a relationship with someone for 5 years. I am married, and wasn't ready to leave my husband. So this man and I met infrequently (every month or 2) and talked a lot through text, but I felt like we had a very close bond. He finally told me…"
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Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
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Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife, the love of your life, is BEAUTIFUL! And it does seem like it was destiny that brought the two of you together. Beautiful story of the two of you meeting for the first time. Like Linda says, we have to be grateful that God sent us…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife is beautiful. We just have to so blessed for God sending us our soulmates."
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Everyone,  Thanks for the cudos. I know every one of us is trying to cope with the loss of our Beloved Spouses. I too cannot do the things we shared and that's just about everything. Our likes were the same, so the only thing I did…"
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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am so grateful that each of you share what you are doing and how you are dealing with your loss at whatever stage in months or years.  In the past I never had to worry about looking for company for misery.  I wasn't miserable.…"
Mar 19
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Thanks for your encouraging words."
Mar 19
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, What you say here about your day sounds like my miserable daily schedule: "My schedule is pretty much go to the bedroom between 1 to 4am and most often I sleep until 11 or noon.  And if I have to get up quickly I find I end up…"
Mar 19
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Marita,  I can relate to what you are saying: the activities that Joseph and I loved to do together are now very painful to do on my own. But it seems that you have started taking baby steps in the right direction by starting to run again.…"
Mar 19
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, This is awesome! How inspiring that you run marathons to honor your beloved husband and soulmate Julian at age 65! "
Mar 19
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, That is quite an accomplishment! My husband was my running partner and we did a lot of charity runs together. My last run was 2 months after he died and dedicated the run to him. Since then I have tried running alone but it was too…"
Mar 19
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi All, This is now I cope with the loss of MY BELOVED HUSBAND AND SOULMATE JULIAN. I run marathons in his honor, it keeps me going. I ran 26.2 miles in his memory at 65."
Mar 19
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am finding it so hard to keep motivated.  I have tons I need to do to keep afloat and try to honor the legacy of my husband and yet all I seem able to do is push myself, force myself.......constantly. Its the putting on the mask and…"
Mar 18

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