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Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Linda Engberg on January 8, 2019 at 4:04pm

Joe,

I feel the same way about my Husband. I have to be truthful, but after 6 years I can't fell his presence but I know he is with me. He is my "ENDLESS LOVE" and I will love him until the day I take my last breath.

Comment by Linda Engberg on January 8, 2019 at 5:48am

Hi Morgan

As you know, our feeling mirror one another's. It has been six years or me also. I also found my Husband on the bathroom floor in a coma. He died three days later Hospice made his passing peaceful. I am surprised to hear that you who have had to pay Hospice. In Florida, their is no cost and I thought that was true in all states.

I had a grief counselor for 13 months with no charge. But at the end of the 13 months she told me I should seek the help of a therapist. I was lucky this was covered by Medicare. I still her every month.

Like you I am struggling living in this world without him by my side. He was world so to me my life ended with him but God will not take me to join him. I am losing faith in him because why does he leave me on this earth to suffer.

The only thing I celebrate is the Hospice Tree of Life Rememberance held every December. A ribbon is placed on three huge trees and a ribbon for everybody's lost ones. The ceremony is the only thing I look forward to in this miserable world. I will never get over his death until I join him. 

Comment by morgan on January 7, 2019 at 10:32pm

I can’t let go of him. It’s impossible. The memories are still so strong at certain parts of a day. I’ve tried for six years. This is the reality I never wanted to face. And now I’m having to face it. I’m struggling.

In three days they would’ve released him from the hospital with 23 staples in his stomach from his sternum down to his groin. And there was no provision for hospice because we couldn't afford paying for it.

In six days it will be my birthday. What’s to celebrate?

In 13 days he will have died. I found him on the bathroom floor.

I really don’t know how to get over this. Sorry to be so graphic and so upset but this is about the only place that I can write this kind of stuff and anybody will even care.

Some people just never get over losing the most important thing of all, The love that made their world revolve. Please let the universe come and get me. Please.....

Comment by Jesse's Mom on January 5, 2019 at 12:47pm

Joe Kelly, I just read about your daughter and her illness, she will be in my prayers, along with strength for you to endure. I am so sorry. I don't know why some are chosen to endure so much....it does seem like an upside-down universe

Comment by Jesse's Mom on January 5, 2019 at 12:41pm

Joe Kelly...I am sorry for the loss of your dear wife.  Your writings about her and the love you both shared was truly beautifully expressed.

I lost my adult son in Oct of 2012. And an infant son in 1987.

I read your post in another section about your NDE. Those experiences always gives me hope to trudge through one more day of this insanity. Where so many people go on with their "normal" life and I am stuck in this pit of torment which will never end until my time comes.

Your insight that was shared resonated with me at a deep level. I have had several abilities rise since my son died. These came about spontaneously -- such as the ability to move an objects, mostly when I hold a weight, but if I get too excited, this can happen with objects that are hanging nearby. Also, both my son and myself knew he was going to pass that year. (He was killed by an inattentive driver who ran him over). This knowledge came to him by the way of knowings, and 3 days before he passed , he called me to his house and told me for certain "His life was going to be short". THis knowledge was temporarily removed from me until shortly after he passed. I was furious with I don't know what -- we had tried to live as God desired (an all out effort) but still we were slaughtered. 

I think your thoughts on a Creator were intriguing. Recently I have looked into some Lakota Native American Spirituality which expresses some of what you wrote. Black Elk Speaks and a subsequent book on his life were of great reading. I think the connection to nature and the Vision Quest concepts you may find of interest. 

Sending you gentle thoughts.

Comment by Linda Engberg on January 2, 2019 at 9:59am

If there is a God, why so much human suffering and you know I can get a answer from anyone including the Church of God.

Comment by Nancy on January 1, 2019 at 10:06am

I'm so sorry Joe.  I've been told God never gives us more than we can handle.  I don't believe that many days.   There are a lot of things I don't believe anymore since I lost my husband at the age of 67.  Bless you and your daughter.   

Comment by M Adams on December 29, 2018 at 1:19am

Joe, so sorry about your daughter’s illness — hope you were able to give her some comfort when you had dinner together.  Did you get a sense of anything you could do for her now that would please or help her?

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 26, 2018 at 10:07am

Joe,

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. I would change places with her in a heartbeat. I have to agree with you on WTF is god doing. He takes the people who want to live and leave the ones who want to die suffer.

Comment by morgan on December 25, 2018 at 10:24pm

Joe,  I cant even imagine how you must feel at this point with the news of your daughter.  I know when my husbands diagnosis of stage four cancer was dropped on us on the day after Xmas the world was ripped from me and I had no idea what was coming my way.  To this day I relive those moments of horror and now my only wish is to get sick like him so I too can pass.  Your daughter should not have this crisis of health befall her and yet the universe seems to be dishing out pain to anyone it feels needs more anguish.  

I sit here tonight knowing that there are millions of us crying out tears for the loss of our beloved and the continuing assault of other awful news is more than we should have to handle.  I am in total agreement with your last sentence in caps.  I have decided for myself that there is no such character as nothing could possibly claim benevolence and rain down such malevolence.  

I am so tired of trying to pretend I'm ok.  I am not and I wont be.  And here you are trying to survive when you are dealing with another blow to your heart.  I don't know what is going on in all of our lives but I am pretty sure it hurts more than I ever imagined.  

 

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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Avi. Happy Easter to all. It's status quo for me."
2 hours ago
Jennifer left a comment for morgan
"Thanks Morgan for commenting on my profile page. Wow...What u described that u go through every day of every year is exactly how I feel. I lost my girlfriend/fiance of 5 years to suicide. I know without a doubt in my mind that she is my soul mate so…"
Saturday
morgan left a comment for Jennifer
"Jennifer,   If there was anything at all I could say, I would.  No one who hasn't lost the love of their life can understand the amount of pain that stays with us for a very long time.  I know at four years I was still banging…"
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"sorry for your loss I lost my husband feb 2016 its been rough I was married 44yrs"
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Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I feel it all depends on the relationship, no matter if man or woman."
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M Adams commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Have heard the same thing about men and loneliness, based on the assumption that women usually have richer and more developed social networks, a wider range of relationships, etc.  Of course this isn’t true of all women, though it seems…"
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M Adams joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Thursday
Michael Thompson commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"In my opinion as a Widower by 4 and a half years, men find dealing with being alone and loneliness harder than woman, this is what widows I meet tell me. I strive on a daily basis to at least be less anxious, but I miss my right arm in my…"
Thursday
Karrie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This past week we lost a young man of 24 with three children, If there is a God why would he take this young man instead of me who's life is over. I really question my faith."
Tuesday
Joe Kelly commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"Our suffering is unbelievable and unbearable Dream Moon.  We just jave to believe that there is an afterlife where we will be reunited with those we love.  That's all I live for now.  To die to be with my Loving wife.  I…"
Tuesday
SGO is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Apr 15
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"wearss my mannerss gon joe sorry on yore loss 2"
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dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"i no so sad joe loss dear frinedd few days go way she sufferdd coz of illness wz cruell coz she wz a veryy sweet kind lady "
Apr 14
Joe Kelly commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"Why I don't know, but everyone dies someday.  There is a lot of evil in our world who do terrible things.  I'm sorry for your loss.  I too suffer the loss of my wife and afraid my daughter will die soon from cancer. …"
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Joe Kelly joined dream moon JO B's group
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dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"stilllasky why  moree loss siness i postedd on hear"
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dream moon JO B commented on Anna-Marie's blog post When does the crying stop.
"it can go on/off for yrs it can  do not t not let no 1 tell u way u shud feal or mkee u feal baf bad for grieff or los loss  lst 7 yrs iv go thruu a multii loss of pepplee  evn a cat i had for 16/17 yrss i loss 2  peplee say or…"
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