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Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by joe kelly on January 1, 2019 at 9:56am

Groundhogs day is getting worse.  It'll be a year in about 3 weeks since I lost my life when my darling passed and it seems like one long day that never ends.  My primary is still to be reunited with her soon but now enters fear for my daughter and two of my grands, her children.  Everyone is downplaying it around them so as to ease their fear, so nothing about it was discussed on Christmas.  I assured her via phone and email that I will be there physically and financially for her to at least ease her worries about the what ifs.  She is very hopeful that she is able to live enough years to have the children become of age.  I hope and pray that happens and that by then, both I and my darling will be there to greet her in spirit realm.  Again, I lean on my OBE for strength but I want it NOW.  WHY, WHY, WHY GOD?  What's it really all about?  Are we a game for entertainment of some sort?  You are suppose to be pure love, then why all the suffering here on earth?  Why all the injustice here on earth?  Is it because You know that in the end, we will be ok back home?  Why though put us here if we belong there?  Are we to be tested?  For what?  You know we are all sinners to some extent.  You knew that when you produced the elements that formed us.  Do You believe that we will eventually evolve to be perfect like You?  Pure Love?  It doesn't seem like that is going to happen here.  Does evil exist in Your realm?  If so, why did You allow it?       

Comment by M Adams on December 29, 2018 at 1:19am

Joe, so sorry about your daughter’s illness — hope you were able to give her some comfort when you had dinner together.  Did you get a sense of anything you could do for her now that would please or help her?

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 26, 2018 at 10:07am

Joe,

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. I would change places with her in a heartbeat. I have to agree with you on WTF is god doing. He takes the people who want to live and leave the ones who want to die suffer.

Comment by morgan on December 25, 2018 at 10:24pm

Joe,  I cant even imagine how you must feel at this point with the news of your daughter.  I know when my husbands diagnosis of stage four cancer was dropped on us on the day after Xmas the world was ripped from me and I had no idea what was coming my way.  To this day I relive those moments of horror and now my only wish is to get sick like him so I too can pass.  Your daughter should not have this crisis of health befall her and yet the universe seems to be dishing out pain to anyone it feels needs more anguish.  

I sit here tonight knowing that there are millions of us crying out tears for the loss of our beloved and the continuing assault of other awful news is more than we should have to handle.  I am in total agreement with your last sentence in caps.  I have decided for myself that there is no such character as nothing could possibly claim benevolence and rain down such malevolence.  

I am so tired of trying to pretend I'm ok.  I am not and I wont be.  And here you are trying to survive when you are dealing with another blow to your heart.  I don't know what is going on in all of our lives but I am pretty sure it hurts more than I ever imagined.  

Comment by Trina Mamoon on December 25, 2018 at 5:16pm

Oh, Joe, I am so very sorry to hear that you are faced with such devastating news about your daughter! I am sending prayers of healing for her. You are already suffering the loss of your beloved wife, it is too much to be facing the possibility that your daughter may go before you. Prayers of courage and strength for you. 

I was going to wish all those celebrating a Merry Christmas, but this news makes it more difficult to wish that.

Be well, all of you on this forum. 

Comment by joe kelly on December 25, 2018 at 4:49pm

I just found out day before yesterday, that my oldest daughter, a divorced, single mom of two, who has been battling the bad type of melanoma for two years, with two surgeries, found that it spread to the lung at stage 4.  The only option is surgery again.  I went to my youngest daughter's house for dinner today because she was there and this could be her last Christmas.  Please pray for her.  There is no way I'll be able to put her in our plot before me.  I still believe that I have to go naturally and hopefully soon but, WTF IS GOD DOING TO ME?

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 24, 2018 at 4:17pm

Today and Tomorrow mean nothing to me anymore. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 21, 2018 at 6:12am

Joe,

The picture of you and your lovely wife is just beautiful. You can see that special love you had and Morgan I too found my Husband on the bathroom floor, his eyes were open but he was in a coma and died 3 days later. He never spoke a word, but we shared our thoughts and feelings a week before he died. I just hate my existent in this world and just want to be with him. I am worth nothing since he passed.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on December 21, 2018 at 1:12am

Joe, 

Beautiful photo of you and the love of your life! The love you share/d comes through very strongly in the picture. The two of you look so very happy together.

Comment by morgan on December 20, 2018 at 10:29pm

Joe,  My husband died January 21, 2013, 8:48 am pronounced.  I found him on the floor of the bathroom.  Between the pre Thanksgiving time when he used to cook a magnificent meal just for the two of us, all through his time in the hospital during Xmas, through my January birthday until the day he died I now simply hide from the world.  Each year it has yet to be tolerable.  I just want an end to this pain of loss.  I function because I have to but I don't do it willingly.

And interestingly I see the affection you and your wife show in the picture you posted. I have similar ones where my husband and I always have our arms linked or touching each other or other kinds of loving gestures.  It pains me to know I cannot have that linkage now in this life.  I could never give myself to anyone else and I know my husband is my eternal soulmate.  I can hardly wait to cross over.  

 

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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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"Thinking of everyone here with love"
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Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"It's been so long since I've been here. Somehow I don't get notifications anymore. And from November til after y sin' birthday March 31 I just want to run away and disengage with the world. But I think of you all and send you…"
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I envy people also Brett that have a loving support system to help them through what we are going through. God is love and he wants us to be compassionate and kind, and he will always be by our side. I believe that"
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joe kelly replied to Jade Rogers's discussion Hi!
"Dear Jade, I wish I had some advice for you because when I sign in, I notice that you often sign in I guess to check if anything new has been posted.  Being lonely after losing your Love after so many years together is a major part of all who…"
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Dennis C. and Virginia G are now friends
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Virginia G replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Defeated
"I feel the same.  The website doesn’t help because we aren’t talking and around people in person.  That isn’t even enough when people are willing to talk and most don’t have time for me."
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"You are right. I became conditioned with my mom. Every health crisis that my mom would have was traumatic for me. And then there would be that ray of light. I would have mom safe at home once again. I developed some false hope. But as time passed…"
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M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Baby steps is such a good metaphor — I think when we’ve been traumatized by terrible loss, many of us lose our resilience, and basically have to baby ourselves, setting very tiny goals and challenges, slowly working our way forward.…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, it's hard for me to be positive about anything. I always feel like something bad is right around the corner. That's because every time I thought mom was safe and had cleared another hurdle, something else would go wrong. It's…"
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joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's been a little bit since I shared but it seems like I'm just stuck, out of sync with everything included myself in a way.  It's been like one long endless day.  I don't know how to explain it even.  I'm…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, For some of us, we will always remain out of sync with the rest of world. We, like myself. live in our own universe."
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you are right that is the "dark" side, it scares me too That is so great about the phone call from the directors at the center, that must have made you feel like a million bucks.   You are making a positive impact, I know…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I actually looked up the EquoVox. I couldn't find an English link for it. I'll keep looking. I'm just really curious how it works. And I want you to make your own decisions. I just want you to be happy."
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, I'm half Catholic, and Theresa is 100% Catholic. This is a huge part of Catholicism. Ouiji boards just scare the crap out of me. I listened to a lecture series from a Vatican exorcists. There was a question and answer period. Someone asked…"
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