Information

Lost My Spouse...

Members: 364
Latest Activity: 16 hours ago

Discussion Forum

The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Lost My Spouse... to add comments!

Comment by Monty on December 20, 2018 at 4:18pm

Hi Linda

That image is so poignant for this time of year and i think how most of us feel.

After my first anniversary yesterday, it was fine in the morning but in the afternoon it was quiet rough.

I'm hoping for a better day today, although not holding my breath, as I'm surrounded by teachers today who are celebrating christmas and the last day of term.

I'm going to have a sore tongue tomorrow from biting it today.

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 20, 2018 at 3:16pm

Hi Morgan,

Well said. "We crawl through the season while others celebrate" After six Christmases without my Julian I know deep down inside that nobody gives a Shit except this forum. 

Comment by morgan on December 20, 2018 at 2:38pm

Yes, Linda,  I am trying my best to avoid the triggers that surround me right now but I know what this is going to be like.  Xmas Eve day I took my husband to the ER because he was filling sick and the day after Xmas we got his diagnosis of stage 4 cancer   He lasted 27 days.  

I am sending my sincere wishes that those of us who don't want to be here on earth without our spouses find a way to crawl through the season while others celebrate.  I plan to hide.

morgan

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 20, 2018 at 7:07am

I find myself sinking into a hole as Christmas Day is nearing. I am broken like this ornament I can never be put back together again.

Comment by Monty on December 19, 2018 at 4:07pm

Hi M Adams

christmas is  a hard one. i think ill try and again to get some safety glasses and some nerf guns.

last year that seemed to work ok.  couple drinks for the adults and let the kids shoot us and miss them mostly, it was a big hit.

also

some slapstick comedy (home alone , pink panther, grumpy old men and dennis the menace .. ect)

possibly even some youtube of robin williams

thats always uplifting.

apart from spending to much on presents for the kids..  i think it will be a small gathering.

I'm asking myself these days ..  how doe this (insert action / idea) improve my life as a career / father / man this seems to be helping a little to ensure that i maximise my spending in what is a very expensive time.

I've also looking at some websites.  

some of the websites may bee good for some people and or may have already seen them

https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/loss-grief-and-manliness-wh...

https://www.opentohope.com

i help every has the best day they can.

Comment by M Adams on December 19, 2018 at 12:42pm

Monty, that is so true about the unforeseen sensitivity — so many things, words, places, thoughts are really painful now, makes it very tempting to withdraw.  It’s not that I blame other people much, it is basically impossible for anyone outside the bereavement to imagine all the ways life can be traumatic now.  For a while after my husband died I kept accidentally driving to the hospital, then suddenly realizing where I was going and getting very upset behind the wheel.  I still avoid lots of places to avoid the pain and public tears, but you can’t really succeed.  There’s a tailor in our neighbourhood where I always wanted to get my husband a handmade suit — one of those things where you wonder why you put it off.  Now I try not to walk by that corner, but sometimes I forget.  

Have you come up with ideas to enhance your experience this Christmas? I’m still struggling.

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 19, 2018 at 6:37am

Hello Friends,

Thank you all for sharing you thoughts. yesterday morning I was talking with my neighbor outside about our Husbands. I looked up at the sky and there was a small rainbow, there were no clouds just a clear blue sky. I know it was a sign from him. Joe, the quote you give is exactly what I tell everyone, it is engraved on my body.  

Comment by Monty on December 18, 2018 at 6:20pm

Corinne

i too am struggling with peoples expectations of me who mean well but ultimately they expectations do not enhance my life at all.

i am trying to focus only on things that enhance my life or the life of my loved ones (children / immediate family).

it is hard to remain focused on positive things when you are so sensitive to things that exacerbate your existing pain and trauma.

i wish you the best day you can have.

Warm regards Monty

Comment by joe kelly on December 18, 2018 at 5:41pm

Corinne,

We're living in hell and they can't understand that.  Yes, it's for them to feel better about you.  All but my children try the same thing.  Get use to it and if they continue, Say "true love is forever, not till death do us part and until we are reunited, I will grieve him. And, if they come out with "he would had wanted....", say "did he tell you that?".

Share anything here, we are all in the same boat (hoping it sinks of course)  Joe

 

Comment by joe kelly on December 18, 2018 at 5:24pm

Thanks for sharing that Linda.  I've been exploring a web site and you might find it interesting.

https://www.soulproof.com/

Here is an example of an ADC published on the site:

Ted, a long-time patient of mine, passed on after suffering with lung cancer. His wife Elizabeth is a salt-of-the-earth Christian woman whom I have known for many years and trust completely. She told me about a unique shared ADC that happened after she prayed for a sign that Ted was at peace. In the first spring after Ted’s burial, the family planted flowers by his grave and videotaped the scenery. As soon as they arrived at the grave site, a sparrow flew to Ted’s monument and perched there, cocking its head and looking intently at the family.

Elizabeth remarked that it seemed as though the sparrow were trying to tell them something or that perhaps Ted’s soul was communicating through the bird. Throughout their visit, the same sparrow continued to chirp and hop on the grave stone. The family excitedly videotaped the bird with the idea of showing it to other family members. When they played the tape at home, however, there was the grave site, grass, trees, family members, and flowers—but no sparrow! They considered this anomaly to be a sign from Ted. This story also corroborates reports that spirit beings are difficult to capture on film.

Joe

 

Members (364)

 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

joe kelly updated their profile
3 hours ago
joe kelly joined Katherine Ellis's group
Thumbnail

Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
3 hours ago
Ann updated their profile
4 hours ago
M Adams commented on M Adams's blog post Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now
"Watching it alone last night was sad but I’m glad to have seen it."
9 hours ago
Trina Mamoon left a comment for morgan
"Dear morgan, I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today (January 21st) on the seventh anniversary of the passing of the love of your life. I know that “life” as we live it now after the death of our beloved spouse is worth…"
13 hours ago
Alex is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
15 hours ago
Brenda Ann left a comment for morgan
"Dear Morgan, You said, ”What the hell happened to him.  Where is he?  I want to know and I know that is impossible.”  I noticed these 2 questions that you asked and noticed that you don’t feel it is possible to find…"
15 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful picture of you and your wife and your gravestones will hold both your bodies but you souls will be united in another realm. Morgan,  You will be in thoughts my tomorrow as you try to make it through the…"
16 hours ago
M Adams posted a blog post

Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now

The moon should appear at its reddest at about 9:12 p.m., with the event lasting until about 10:40 p.m.Kelly encourages people to take a look.  "You know, stop and look up and really think about [how] we are on this huge planet, moving around in space and there's very few times that we can actually be reminded and feel the effects of that," she said.See More
23 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
yesterday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
Saturday
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
Kelly Lieberman posted a status
"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."
Saturday

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service