Information

Lost My Spouse...

Members: 364
Latest Activity: Jul 7

Discussion Forum

The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Lost My Spouse... to add comments!

Comment by Monty on December 13, 2018 at 7:44pm

joe that is incredible.

thanks for the time and energy sharing.

i think ill look at some of your suggestions and see what will work for me.

for me this week has been hard.

1 week until first anniversary of her death, i don't know what to expect or how i will cope.

the other day i slept straight thought the alarm for the first time in over 5 years.  that tells me i'm not myself at the moment..

i'm just doing what i need to for work and my boys until i find something worth doing, something enjoyable.

I'm hopeful, but not expecting

i hope every one has the best day the can.

Kind thoughts and wishes.

regards monty

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 13, 2018 at 2:11pm

Thanks Bluebird for nice comment about my Julian. He was so caring and was my rock. Being with him for 24/7 for 13 years of our retirement was bliss, I thank God for this time together. 

Morgan & Joe I keep believing there is eternal love after death. When I take my last breath my thoughts will be only of him. 

Comment by morgan on December 13, 2018 at 1:09pm

Joe,

I read your words and it brings me to my knees.  I so want to join my husband.  As the years are passing I feel the need more and more.  I am not sure I understand totally how your OBE has given you more faith that somehow we will be reunited but I hope it will be so because the pain of not knowing here on earth is crushing me.  

I try to convince myself that he is "waiting" for me but then because we don't know what place we inhabit when we die (other than what you reference as blissful and at peace)  I have a problem tying that bliss to having the kind of visceral need for him that I have now.  What it does is making me more and more anxious to leave here.  

Am I suicidal?  I wouldnt call it that.  Its not that I cant stand life, its that I am anxious to die.  I can't have my husband here ever again and because it is the only thing I think about day in and out I simply find it more advantageous to die.  

I have no idea if this makes sense.  I only know that deep in my self I have no further need for this corporal body existence because it does nothing to give me "life".  I cannot enjoy anything here because he is not with me.  I've tried and when I play act and pretend to get excited, or feign happiness I get mad at myself because I know its all a lie.  Then I want to cry because I know I am not being truthful to myself or others.

I'm tired of having to do everything that means nothing.  

Comment by bluebird on December 13, 2018 at 10:26am
Linda,
Your Julian looks like such a nice man in that photo; what a lovely smile!

Joe,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope you are right.
Comment by Linda Engberg on December 13, 2018 at 6:39am

Hi Bluebird,

I am so glad that the folks on this forum feel the same way I do. Society is always trying to label people, if we don't agree with them they think we are weird or crazy. My sweet Husband Julian taught me to ignore what other people say and live my life as I choose to. God Bless Him.

Comment by bluebird on December 12, 2018 at 11:22pm
Sorry, I meant Linda and Monty and Joe.
Comment by bluebird on December 12, 2018 at 11:21pm
I fully agree with you both, Linda and Monty. My deep and abiding grief is the only response I could possibly have to my husband's death. My soulmate was torn from me, and I don't know if his wonderful soul still exists, or if I will ever see him again or if we will ever be together again. Why/how could anyone expect me to react in any other way?!?
Comment by Linda Engberg on December 12, 2018 at 3:40pm

Joe,

I couldn't agree with you more.

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 12, 2018 at 7:13am

Hi Monty,

Complicated grief to me is just a label because I refuse to get over my grief which is the norm. Most of the people on this site understand each other because we do not fall into the norm of grieving.

Comment by Monty on December 12, 2018 at 4:08am

this is my first anniversary  of my wife death.   I'm finding it harder the closer i get to the anniversary of carols passing, i feel less emotional stable and more prone to becoming over whelmed with emotion

i hope that i can find some useful and meaning full thing in the impending anniversary 

 

Members (364)

 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Nancy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
G B is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
Friday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Jul 16
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Jul 16
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Jul 16
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Jul 16
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Jul 16
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Jul 16
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Jul 16
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 15
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Jul 15
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Jul 15

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service