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Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Nancy on September 12, 2018 at 6:23am

Morgan. I too feel your pain.  I keep very busy to avoid the thoughts that overcome me.  When they do it is unbearable and I'm in disbelief that he is gone.  So I get busy again.  It's the only way I'm able to survive after 43 years of marriage and all I've known since I was 20.  My kids are in pain too.  I keep going for them.  But I am not the same for sure  I have a lot of anger now and a short fuse with people.  Don't like crowds or seeing happy couples or hearing about something fun a couple has done or is going to do.  Talking about it helps.  Anything to not have it be my main focus everyday.  I read something about grief maybe on here.  It said your grief doesn't get smaller but rather other things in your mind get bigger around your grief so you always have it but those other distractions allow you to go on.  I hope you talk to someone regularly even if it's on here to see if you can get some relief even if it's just a little each day.  At least that is what I'm trying.  It is by far the worst thing I have ever dealt with and more painful than I could've ever imagined.  Bless you and know you are definitely not alone.

Comment by bluebird on September 11, 2018 at 11:48pm
((((((((((morgan))))))))))
Comment by Monty on September 11, 2018 at 11:48pm

Hi Morgan.

i can only imagine the pain and suffering your going though at the moment, and am so sorry to hear how horrible your situation is that you are dealing with.

I hope and pray that you can find a light in this dark time in your life.

I hope the world is not deprived of your love and presence.

Warmest regards

Monty

Comment by morgan on September 11, 2018 at 10:40pm

I haven't written lately.  Not because I am not having problems surviving my emotions but because 1) I have so little energy that I have to conserve and use for daily work and living and 2) I'm giving up.  I just cannot see living like I am with the crying when I hit a trigger, and the missing of him more than ever it seems.  I just cannot believe he is dead.  I cannot erase my history and everything reminds me of my history.  He is constantly popping in and out of my mind and I simply have no real reason for committing myself to defending any goal, reason or project other than getting my affairs in order so they aren't such a mess foe someone else to dispose of.  Other than that, I am through with the pain of grief.  The meaningless of getting up every day and feeling like I am bereft of a solid attachment to someone who understood me.  I didn’t have to say anything, He knew what I was thinking and I knew him.  There was such a comfort in that.  The fact he wanted me.  He wanted me in all ways.  
35 years of love.  Of being together in everything.  Buying homes, traveling, working, sleeping together, eating at home nutritious meals, paying attention to each other’s work issues......But mainly the love.  The feeling of being embraced.  Of sleeping side by side......of living love.
I don't know if I will have the courage to do what I want to do when I feel I have settled my affairs but I hope so because the rest of the time I am dying little by little.  Piece by piece.  I just want to be with him again.  And if I can’t have it here, which is a given, I am slowly giving up the fight to want to try.  It’s just so painful.......

Comment by Geri on September 1, 2018 at 12:40am

That tshirt says it all Linda Engberg.Thank you for sharing. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on August 31, 2018 at 8:23am

Hi Geri,

I have a tshirt that has this statement on it.

Comment by Elynn m on August 30, 2018 at 10:53pm

Thank you morgan, and linda, for the information.  My sister lives near Henderson, nevada.   I might check that out.   I've looked for 55+ communities there, but not for senior apartments.   Also, morgan I have a friend in Florida who lives in a 55+ community.   Thank you both for your concerns.

Comment by bluebird on August 30, 2018 at 10:07pm
I would be upset too, Geri. I'm sorry that happened to you. If I were you, I would ask to speak to the doctor or, if there is one, the patient advocate, and complain/explain why that was wrong and inappropriate, and why you are so upset
Comment by Geri on August 30, 2018 at 7:17pm

Yesterday I was scheduled for a minor eye operation. I was asked at the admissions desk if my husband was my next of kin (for picking me up after surgery). I was upset and explained he had just passed 4 months ago. I was then told all my paperwork needed my marital status changed. I went numb. As far as I'm concerned I'm still married. I still have a husband even though he is not physically here with me. Why is this labelling necessary? I was and still am so upset.

Comment by Linda Engberg on August 30, 2018 at 8:07am

Hi Elynn,

I live in Florida and live on the East Coast which I find is more expensive to live, when my Husband and I first looked we found the West Coast much cheaper but really crowded so we ended up in St. Augustine, Fl which now be coming very expensive. My friend lives in Henderson, Nevada, and they have senior housing based on your income.

Morgan where do you in Florida?

 

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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Nancy, I am sure everyone in our group can relate."
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes we have no choice but to live without our mothers. Grief and guilt will be there through out and some days will be really hard than others. Yesterday was pathetic for me as my father said something that really hit me. I hope to see my mother…"
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Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Love this Linda.  Thanks for posting it. "
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I relate to you all who have posted lately.  2 years for me.  2nd year was worse than the first as reality set in and shock lessened.  I am still in a trauma state of mind.  Forgetful, irritable, less patient.  I isolate…"
Saturday
Deanna N Nash added a discussion to the group surviving family members' murders
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Nothing feels real

My husband was brutly murdered 6 day ago and nothing feels real to me I'm still waiting to wake up or him to call me the pain is unbearable I don't know if I can go on anymore
Saturday
Deanna N Nash commented on Susie H's group surviving family members' murders
"6 days ago my husband and soulmate was brutly murdered and everyday gets a little harder I haven't seen him yet he's held up at the corners and I'm terrified to see him but I need to see him to convince my mind that this is real and…"
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Deanna N Nash joined Susie H's group
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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Robin, thank you.  Bluebird was the honesty that i discovered on this site that made it possible for me to express what I go through.  Several others who write let me know too.  I tend to reach out here, particularly when I am…"
Saturday
Robin commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan - I lost my husband John, 9 years ago, when he was 46.  I come to this website every now & then, but have only commented a few times.  I relate most to you and Bluebird.  I can't believe it's been 9 years, and…"
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I really don't know what to say to all the newer people who come here looking for help and comfort because I have struggled for years. I did find an article written by a psychotherapist just the other day that made some sense to me about the…"
Saturday
Sharon batten posted a discussion

Missing my true love

My partner died 14 weeks ago and I am struggling big time without her, we been together for 10 years and now I have nothing left,
Friday
Sharon batten left a comment for Sharon batten
"I hate my life without her now I miss her so much, we been together for 10 years and now I have nothing left"
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