Lost My Spouse...

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Latest Activity: Sep 13

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FAILING 8 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Alison J Aug 27.

Rejoining the rest of the world 3 Replies

I am getting ready to return to work for the first time since the death of John. I know I have to go on living for now. I have reflected on my spiritual beliefs. I have to believe that John is indeed…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Monty Aug 12.

My wife passed 5 days before christmas 7 Replies

Hi AllMy name is Monty and i have become single parent of two special needs boys when i lost my wife and life partner of 25 years, 5 days before Christmas.My wife had Myotonic Dystrophy and other the…Continue

Started by Monty. Last reply by Monty Jul 8.

loost my spouce 4 Replies

Lost my spouce a couple of weeks ago and now what do I do with the rest of my life after 55 years with the same person?Continue

Started by kathy. Last reply by ET May 28.

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Comment by Elynn m on August 30, 2018 at 12:40am

Thank you Monty for the encouragement.   I do talk to my sister in law, who is willing to listen.   I know my own sisters would also, but I am afraid, or embarrassed  (?) to bring it up.   I'll try to be more open.   I know my sisters would  love to talk, but probably think I don't want to talk about my feelings.   They talk about Joe, and how great he was, but don't really want to get into feelings.   Guess I could tell them how I feel  (sad, lonely, etc.) And they would talk.

Comment by Monty on August 30, 2018 at 12:21am

Elynn I'm so sorry to hear of you pain and current loneliness / situation.

  I don't know what state has what services in america so cant help you much on that front.

  I live in a built up area and have until recently felt quite isolated and alone. most of my friends could not talk to me or listen to me when i start about grief.

  i have found just even talking on the phone to my sister (who is an amazing listener) helps so much.  she isn't afraid to hear what i need to talk about and i look forward to our conversations with her so much.

  i also need to remind myself to allow people to help..  i tend not to like to rely on others to much.

  don't be to afraid to let others help you and come pick you up from time to time.

regards Monty

Comment by Elynn m on August 29, 2018 at 11:53pm

I came back today because I need to talk.  I didn't think I would get to this stage ....of always feeling lonely, but I guess I am.  How do I get through this?   I cannot go out of the house to visit someone, because I don't drive....I live in an area where people don't live just next door!  ....I feel kind of stupid asking if I can visit them and saying,  "but you'll have to pick me up" !!!  I've thought about selling the house and moving to a 55+ community, but  cannot find a state that is affordable!   Joe's death was unexpected, and we never discussed this type of thing in 41 years!!!  Does anyone know of a state with a decent area for seniors in a 55+ community???  I'm sorry to talk about this here, but, like I said, I don't have anyone else to talk to.

Comment by Linda Engberg on August 27, 2018 at 7:11am


Thanks for sharing this website.

Comment by Monty on August 26, 2018 at 9:08pm

thanks joe.

its nice to find some material that is useful and relevant in what we are going though 

Comment by Alice Thompson on August 26, 2018 at 8:50pm
Hi Joe, Nancy and all you wonderful loving friends in this group, I read her book recently. I found it such a relief from the usual things you hear and read. I felt heard and understood. But she also tries valiantly to give advice to people who haven’t experienced such devastating loss, to help them help people like us, and there I’m afraid she’s trying to do the (almost?) impossible. Other people just can’t stand it... our reality. It’s too horrific for them, the idea it can’t be fixed. The dedication in her book says it all: “for those who are the stuff of other people’s nightmares” (or something like that). I still recommend it though.
Comment by Nancy on August 26, 2018 at 8:25pm

Thank you Joe.

Comment by joe kelly on August 26, 2018 at 3:26pm

I'm tired of everyone trying to "fix me".  I can't be fixed.  I found this website and pasted the "about page" of a psychotherapist who treated grief the way the medical community was taught to treat it until she lost her loved one.  She realized as some of us here do that they have it wrong.


Comment by Linda Engberg on August 17, 2018 at 9:30am

Hi Elynn and Monty

I have this picture right by my computer. It really helped me accept the fact that I will never stop grieve fro my Husband. I find no comfort with family and Friends, just my sweet little dog Babie J.

Comment by Elynn m on August 17, 2018 at 12:13am

thank you Monty for your comments.  I try to remind myself that friends don't know what they r doing, and they don't know what to say.   I know that everyone will face this at some time, but I cannot say that to friends, because I don't want to hurt their feelings, and do not wish this on anyone!   I get depressed once in awhile, because it's been 3 years, and I am finally realizing that I am alone after 41 years of marriage.       I'm grateful for this site, because I can express myself without fear of hurting feelings.   Everyone else here understands.  


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