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Lost My Spouse...

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Latest Activity: Sep 13

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FAILING 8 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Alison J Aug 27.

Rejoining the rest of the world 3 Replies

I am getting ready to return to work for the first time since the death of John. I know I have to go on living for now. I have reflected on my spiritual beliefs. I have to believe that John is indeed…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Monty Aug 12.

My wife passed 5 days before christmas 7 Replies

Hi AllMy name is Monty and i have become single parent of two special needs boys when i lost my wife and life partner of 25 years, 5 days before Christmas.My wife had Myotonic Dystrophy and other the…Continue

Started by Monty. Last reply by Monty Jul 8.

loost my spouce 4 Replies

Lost my spouce a couple of weeks ago and now what do I do with the rest of my life after 55 years with the same person?Continue

Started by kathy. Last reply by ET May 28.

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Comment by Elynn m on August 30, 2018 at 12:40am

Thank you Monty for the encouragement.   I do talk to my sister in law, who is willing to listen.   I know my own sisters would also, but I am afraid, or embarrassed  (?) to bring it up.   I'll try to be more open.   I know my sisters would  love to talk, but probably think I don't want to talk about my feelings.   They talk about Joe, and how great he was, but don't really want to get into feelings.   Guess I could tell them how I feel  (sad, lonely, etc.) And they would talk.

Comment by Monty on August 30, 2018 at 12:21am

Elynn I'm so sorry to hear of you pain and current loneliness / situation.

  I don't know what state has what services in america so cant help you much on that front.

  I live in a built up area and have until recently felt quite isolated and alone. most of my friends could not talk to me or listen to me when i start about grief.

  i have found just even talking on the phone to my sister (who is an amazing listener) helps so much.  she isn't afraid to hear what i need to talk about and i look forward to our conversations with her so much.

  i also need to remind myself to allow people to help..  i tend not to like to rely on others to much.

  don't be to afraid to let others help you and come pick you up from time to time.

regards Monty

Comment by Elynn m on August 29, 2018 at 11:53pm

I came back today because I need to talk.  I didn't think I would get to this stage ....of always feeling lonely, but I guess I am.  How do I get through this?   I cannot go out of the house to visit someone, because I don't drive....I live in an area where people don't live just next door!  ....I feel kind of stupid asking if I can visit them and saying,  "but you'll have to pick me up" !!!  I've thought about selling the house and moving to a 55+ community, but  cannot find a state that is affordable!   Joe's death was unexpected, and we never discussed this type of thing in 41 years!!!  Does anyone know of a state with a decent area for seniors in a 55+ community???  I'm sorry to talk about this here, but, like I said, I don't have anyone else to talk to.

Comment by Linda Engberg on August 27, 2018 at 7:11am

Joe,

Thanks for sharing this website.

Comment by Monty on August 26, 2018 at 9:08pm

thanks joe.

its nice to find some material that is useful and relevant in what we are going though 

Comment by Alice Thompson on August 26, 2018 at 8:50pm
Hi Joe, Nancy and all you wonderful loving friends in this group, I read her book recently. I found it such a relief from the usual things you hear and read. I felt heard and understood. But she also tries valiantly to give advice to people who haven’t experienced such devastating loss, to help them help people like us, and there I’m afraid she’s trying to do the (almost?) impossible. Other people just can’t stand it... our reality. It’s too horrific for them, the idea it can’t be fixed. The dedication in her book says it all: “for those who are the stuff of other people’s nightmares” (or something like that). I still recommend it though.
Comment by Nancy on August 26, 2018 at 8:25pm

Thank you Joe.

Comment by joe kelly on August 26, 2018 at 3:26pm

I'm tired of everyone trying to "fix me".  I can't be fixed.  I found this website and pasted the "about page" of a psychotherapist who treated grief the way the medical community was taught to treat it until she lost her loved one.  She realized as some of us here do that they have it wrong.

https://www.refugeingrief.com/about/

Joe

Comment by Linda Engberg on August 17, 2018 at 9:30am

Hi Elynn and Monty

I have this picture right by my computer. It really helped me accept the fact that I will never stop grieve fro my Husband. I find no comfort with family and Friends, just my sweet little dog Babie J.

Comment by Elynn m on August 17, 2018 at 12:13am

thank you Monty for your comments.  I try to remind myself that friends don't know what they r doing, and they don't know what to say.   I know that everyone will face this at some time, but I cannot say that to friends, because I don't want to hurt their feelings, and do not wish this on anyone!   I get depressed once in awhile, because it's been 3 years, and I am finally realizing that I am alone after 41 years of marriage.       I'm grateful for this site, because I can express myself without fear of hurting feelings.   Everyone else here understands.  

 

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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Lia,  So sorry for your loss.  Similar to others, I can understand your pain. I wish comfort to you but I know it is not easy. Please take your time.  All people, I was travelling so could not post for long. This is to tell that I…"
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Geri commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Everyone, This Friday 21st September will be our 27th wedding anniversary. It is my first without my husband and I've noticed my anxiety peaking and I'm back to waking every hour. Has anyone got any advice of how to cope with all the…"
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Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you Layla Richards. I was very religious before my husband died, Then after his death I started searching why we have to go thru such pains and was looking into everything. Then after reading the Bible, the Torah, the Koran and more religious…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Pamela, So sorry about the lost of your Husband, it has been 5 years and to be truthful things are not any better. We were very close, he was my rock, now I am nothing."
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Suzy Tatz commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I am new to this. I lost my dad June 7 2018 to lung cancer and my fiancé on Aug. 6. 2018 to colon cancer. I was caretaker to both and now I can’t stand being in my own skin. I have the panic feelings when I am alone. So I have been self…"
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
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Layla Richards replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"That is some great advice Ofir Rifo. Also, bluebird, something that helped me a lot was reading through the thousands of stories contributed by individuals who had a near-death experience or received an after death communication from a passed loved…"
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Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"ANA BECOAH BY ovadia chamama. Miracle prayer even for those who do not believe in anything. It will act as a password and will open the universe who will answer your petition. Please bluebird just try the same way a tried and it worked. Remember you…"
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BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia I am so sorry for your loss. Bluebell"
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Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird please go to you tube in listen to a song called Ana Becoh by Ovadiada Chamama. This song will act as a password to the universe. You do not need to believe in any religion but It worked for me and I am an agnostic. I lost my husband 21…"
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Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hello Bluebird. I always remember you and wonder how you are doing since the last time I wrote to you for the first time when I found this blog. It has been a while and I was hoping by this time you were doing better. Please understand that you will…"
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