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Lost My Spouse...

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Lost my wife 6 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Monty 1 minute ago.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Nicole Sep 28.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 1 Reply

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Linda Engberg Sep 27.

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Comment by Linda Engberg on July 30, 2018 at 6:31am

Thanks Anne, She had her eye removed on Friday and she is doing great, the surgeon did an excellent job. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on July 26, 2018 at 8:19am

Comment by Linda Engberg on July 24, 2018 at 6:45am

Vickie,

Sorry for loss. I will honest with you that I'm still lost and will always remain lost without my Husband Julian, who passed away 5/5/2013.

 

Comment by Vickie lemoigne ecklund on July 24, 2018 at 12:26am

I lost my husband 8 months ago I want him back so bad, I'm so alone .yet I got people around but I don't talk to them I want him I trust him I'm so pissed at him for leaving me all alone, he was my rock my everything. I'm always going to be lost?

Comment by Linda Engberg on July 21, 2018 at 9:28am

Hi Morgan,

As you always do in your posts, you take the words right out of my mouth. 

Linda

Comment by morgan on July 20, 2018 at 10:19pm

Before this nightmare I myself would never have imagined how debilitating the loss of a spouse is. Tracy B 2014

I thought I would be able to focus on my career to help me heal, but I don't even like going to work any more. At home, I can't get motivated to tidy up the house or do laundry or cook. P W 2012

Do things at your own pace. You don't owe an explanation to anyone. Ever. Amy 2011

ther are so many things that were just so simple that meant so much Jessie 2016

I hate to admit this but I really dislike being around couples . Couples around my age or older couples because they have something I never will. Angela Renter 2016
He died in my arms...I'm miserable. It's been yrs, I'm still miserable. On antidepressants, anti anxiety, and gained 30 pounds. I'm obsessed with dying now.Alicia 2016

I came to this site to connect with people that are going through what I am. Everyone that does not understand loves to give me advice, but they have no clue what this feels like. I literally do not feel like a person anymore. I don't know how to do this. I lost everything they day he passed, I feel the deepest sorrow for him. I can not believe I will never talk, touch or see him in this life. I sometimes like to pretend that he will be back, just so I can get through the day. But the clock never stops and he never walks through the door. I guess, I just want to know how do I do this, how do I live a lifetime without my love. Courtney B 2014

These are all from prior posters. I do wonder how all these people are doing since many of them are years ago. I am hopeful many of them we able to reconstruct their lives since I copied these from the discussion amongst mainly young widowers. And yet I think so much of what they wrote are all the typical reactions whether young or old. I am after five years six months (tomorrow) still in much the same emotional shape as day one. I look and present better on the outside but the absence of my husband is always with me. My ups are somewhat better because I have tried to honor my limits in dealing with the world but my downs are unbelievable painful. Just need to come here often and know I am not alone.......

Comment by Crystal Parker on July 19, 2018 at 1:33am

Hi guys I lost my husband January 30th 2017 .. he committed suicide by our house. Night is still a struggle for me I know its still hard for our kids too but sometimes I dont know how to be or act .. he did all the Bill's and went to work I took care of the kids and the house I dont know anything about Bill's or APR's and taxes he did all this stuff I just dunno I'm just blabbering on I guess ..

Comment by M Adams on July 18, 2018 at 3:22pm

Geraldine, so sorry for all that you are going through -- the desire for images and manifestations of those we've lost to death does seem to be something that many of the bereaved experience.  I really resonate with the urge to recapture my time with my husband -- at this point, two years later, I have surrounded myself with photos and other souvenirs that give me some comfort and context.  I also make a point of wearing things he gave me and even some of his sweaters, for the sense of connection.  These behaviours might seem odd or obsessive to some people, but photos, jewelry, and clothing choices are generally not very noticeable and I think they help me.  Very hard that beautiful memories are now also terribly painful -- the brain struggles when the only source of pleasure is an intense source of pain.  I think that this particular kind of pain does diminish; at least for me I do now mostly feel better when I see his picture, wear a necklace he gave me, etc., and that in turn seems to be helping my mind to clear and heal.  Though I can't bring myself to look at the album I created in a frenzy a few months after his death, I am glad to know it's there and that I will be able to look at it when I feel able to do that again.  

Sudden interest in accessing the spirit world is probably part of the same impulse -- I had never considered it before, but shortly after his death I started searching for mediums.  However, the listings I encountered seemed insincere to me and I never went further, though I found myself being open to "signs" in a way I would never have envisioned before the bereavement.  

What you said about panic following you around is also so sadly familiar -- wish I could say that the panic feelings will disappear, but they haven't for me, though they are definitely less intense and less constant.  When the panic comes it is usually when I am out in the world and I find that just telling myself 'you'll be home soon' somehow helps; maybe you would find that kind of self-soothing worth a try, if you haven't already?  Hope you can find ways to be kind to yourself even in this terrible time.

Comment by Linda Engberg on July 10, 2018 at 7:38am

Today is my beloved Husband's birthday. 

Comment by Monty on July 9, 2018 at 4:31pm

thanks linda.

i wish you the very best on this difficult day for you.

 

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Monty replied to Kyle McKay's discussion Lost my wife in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kyle Im so sorry for your loss and the pain your going though. its hard at the start, especially if you don't feel you have any one to talk to. you have a sympathetic ear in here any time you need / wish to talk, i know its not the same as…"
1 minute ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here I am at a another Holiday Season coming up. All it is, is my six Christmas without my beloved Husband. I was always told time will make things better, I guess these people never knew what a true soulmate is. I feel the same way I did six years…"
1 hour ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here I am at a another Holiday Season coming up. All it is, is my six Christmas without my beloved Husband. I was always told time will make things better, I guess these people never knew what a true soulmate is. I feel the same way I did six years…"
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would say that your mom was fortunate that she did not suffer that way. Sometimes a person will suffer for years before they die. I am certainly glad that I got to be with my mom at the end and tell her that I loved her every day, but it was…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I know you know I did not mean it in that way, but of course not, my question, should I be thankful she did not suffer and lay in a bed and me have to watch her suffer and be able to do nothing as so many had to do on this site.  But as you…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I don't know if we can be thankful that our mom's died under any circumstances. "
yesterday
Profile IconMarian Bruce and Colleen joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"True Brett Should I be thankful? My mom died in an instant she was herself until the last minute. Some say I’m lucky I didn’t have to watch her suffer. But my mom used to always say we suffer everyday in this earth. I would have been…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No, she didn't everyone, good or bad, dies. Few people have an easy death."
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Wow Avi I believe in karma but I’m not sure that your mom has done anything wrong present or past that would make her have gotten that disease"
Tuesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks Theressa. Yes hope the questions will be answered. In my country, lot of importance is given to Karma and it is believed that whatever you sow and you will reap the same. Not sure how this karma cycle is analyzed and who decided if this was a…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes Avi That’s what we all have to do we have to go on with our lives it’s so much easier said than done I cry sometimes uncontrollably I have hope that one day every question or any uncertainty we have will be answered"
Tuesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Guys it is completely 1 year when my mother's cancer was detected. I hope I can go back in time and change everything but I can only live with it. "
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Same Brett, yesterday out of the blue driving home from work I burst into tears saying mom why didn't you wait for me to get there before you went in cardiac arrest, well now isn't that stupid on my part.   I feel that I am a…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'll keep going though. I'll keep praying. I'll keep putting one foot in front of the other, but I do not seem to get anywhere. I will always pray for a wink or a nod. Just something to let me know that the Lord is walking with…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Guys, my heart is just broken. So broken. It's not because of some kind of change. It's just three years of sadness that continues to pull me down, and makes me feel that there is very little hope. I am a very spiritual person. When lie…"
Tuesday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you for your response, and for providing the link to your post about your NDE as well as describing it in more detail here. Although it's terrible that you were in that accident, in a way it was a blessing for you, in that it allows…"
Monday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, your post made me cry because I also feel similar.  I wish you all strength "
Sunday
Bern commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"2012 September 30th. This fight is real. My only son was shot in the head. The girl and her brother were in the house when it happened. The told police that they were playing with the gun. Well a sister and brother will die and go to hell or heaven…"
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Judy sometimes I feel the same way...why do some who don't deserve to live get to while our kids didn't.  And sometimes when I hear others use that word, "miracle" it upsets me too."
Saturday

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