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Lost My Spouse...

Members: 365
Latest Activity: Sep 11

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Linda Engberg on June 21, 2018 at 10:07am

Hi Beth,

I don't think any one of us on this forum will be able to move forward. We have lost our soulmates and there is only one in a lifetime. I'm am glad to have had that.

Comment by Beth Swansboro on June 21, 2018 at 9:42am

My husband will be gone 3 years this Nov. I miss him and think of him every day. I cry a lot too. Life is just going along without me. I really have not much interest in things anymore. Just feel I wi'll never have any closure. Life is just a repeat every day! Keep trying to go forward but just can't get there.

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 21, 2018 at 6:12am

Joe,

Thanks for sharing.

Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on June 20, 2018 at 1:42pm

I have not contacted any mediums yet they contact me. I seem to be a bit of a burden to my Wife lol. The constant grieving and crying is apparently quite annoying. I've deeply divulged in the necromantic arts and I now understand why it is not recommended. It can be a heavy weight on someone who is in a new etheric body to be pulled to past lives and experiences. She constantly gives me signals of comfort and love, but I am now obsessed to a point of no return. Now I am focused on figuring out who She currently is, IF She is alive in this realm or another, and if another, how to access it. I strongly advise NOT to take the path I'm on. However, if it is successful like I presume it will be, I will surely share any formulas with my beloved here. A good therapy I found is to have a shrine in your room for your Lover. Keep a yahrzeit candle lit CONTINUOUSLY near it and another in between yourSelf and a mirror you can gaze into when you pray to them or trance. I would also recommend keeping shungite, moldavite, amethyst, and some organite material for your place, as emf and wifi radiation disturb the vibrations. Enhancing your intuition is CRUCIAL so I strongly suggest fasting and only consuming clean water and raw foods. If have have people who care enough for you, which I do not lol, I recommend a séance. This year for the first time, I will be having a ceremony at Her grave on the anniversary of Her passing, and was adamantly instructed to do it at 11am. It will include incantations so it may go against many "belief" systems, but I have learned that "belief" is a very poor substitute for understanding. However, research in depth EVERYTHING and follow what resonates with you personally. I love you guys. I DEEPLY appreciate you all staying strong in Love.

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 20, 2018 at 12:51pm

I went to a medium after my Husband passed away, she was right on the mark. I am going to see her again this fall. her name is Sherri Silvers and happens to live in St. Augustine, Fl by me and she has been on quite a few TV shows.

Comment by Marita on June 20, 2018 at 11:01am

Right on point Morgan, I couldn't have said it any better. Thanks for your honesty.

Comment by JenShep on June 20, 2018 at 9:33am

Geraldine,

i have spoken to two different mediums. Both were recommended to me by the same person but I will say this person was much less of a skeptic than I am. Both readings were a let down. The first one was just awful. Nothing she said hit on anything that pertained to my husband and she was totally grasping for straws the whole time. The second one got closer with a few nuggets of info that seemed to specifically relate to my husband but the rest of what she said so vague that I again felt let down. I definitely didn’t get what I was looking for out of it.

I do believe that there are mediums out there who truly have a gift but I think it’s so hard to find them and its costly to keep trying. I believe myself more than anyone else and so I try to meditate and do other things to see if I can connect with my husband on my own. I’ve had a few experiences that make me know he’s still here but it’s never enough and I’m never satisfied. I do wish I could find a medium who really has the gift and that I could communicate with Tom that way. But until then I keep trying to connect on my own. 

I know that’s not very positive but I hope it helps a bit. 

Comment by JenShep on June 20, 2018 at 9:21am

Same here. I’ve been wondering what it is about me that makes me this way. Just out of curiosity, would some of you share your astrological signs? I’m a Capricorn and it’s one of the most loyal signs in the zodiac. I have wondered if that had something to do with it. Of course I know that the fact that Tom and I were so perfectly matched and so darn in love and happy together is what makes this so difficult. The thought of moving on is so sickening to me I just could never ever do it. Plus anyone else would just be such a major disappointment. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 20, 2018 at 6:31am

Morgan,

It is so true what you said, that some of us cannot rewire, and I am part of that group.

Comment by morgan on June 19, 2018 at 11:14pm

Trevy,  Of course it is difficult to hear of others success in managing their grief where some of us feel so helpless.  It doesnt mean that your experience is any less or more relevant to someone elses.  We all deal with loss differently.  What the problem is it sounds as though you are saying if you can do it so can anyone.  That's just not the case.

If that was the case then none of us would be here on this site pleading with our inner selves and wondering why we feel so disconnected to anything we remember as joy.  And worse than that knowing this is as good as it gets.  

Some of us just cannot rewire.  There is no more heart to give to someone else.  Some of us gave it all to one person and that leaves us with nothing left. It was just the way I connected with my husband.  No one in my life ever had all of me except my husband.  Not my parents, not my siblings, no-one. No one has ever come close except my husband. He is my souls crucible.  The only thread that connects me to the universe.  I have travelled light years to be absorbed by his light.  I am now in the dark.  I need his light once again.  It is just the way it is for some of us. That doesn't mean we are offended.  It just means we cannot be persuaded that through support or trying harder or grieving through time it will change for us.  But we are glad when someone  else can make a new life. 

I know other widows through group support I participated with in the past that came out of their grief and reconstructed their lives to include a new love.  Good for them.  Good for you.  But its not going to happen for me or for many others.  And thats ok.  It needs to be ok because thats just the way it is.  I earnestly await the moment of my own exit for that is when I might possibly find joy again.  Until then its just moving around through a lot of space  that means nothing.  And that too is ok because I already had everything I ever needed or wanted.  Now I just want to be relieved of this burden of living.  And I hope in my better moments that he is waiting for me on the other side of this veil to embrace me once again so i can feel the warmth of his energy and light.  That will be my moment of peace.......my love come full circle. 

 

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Latest Activity

dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"evry now agan i still loss my way i do"
Thursday
Kim Darichuk is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 11
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.  God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
Sep 11
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan, Thanks so very much for your supportive letter. Sorry i didn't see it before. I replied to it just now, Sending you love and good wishes."
Sep 10
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
Sep 10
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her.  Like yesterday, I found a small  3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
Sep 9
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me. Joe,  So true.  That's exactly why I post here too.  I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone.  That consoles…"
Sep 9
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello All, I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
Sep 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all.  Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
Sep 9
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Once again I want to Thank You for sharing you thoughts with us. You put into words the things I don't know how to express."
Sep 9
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
Sep 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T,   I saw your post late late last night.  I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing.  After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
Sep 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.  Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
Sep 8
Profile IconBev R, Kelly Darnell and Wil McGregor joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 8
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, We are blessed to have this wonderful group to come to and share our grief."
Sep 8
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thinking of you John T.  I understand.  "
Sep 7
John T. replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"5 years since my wife died suddenly of heart failure right in front of me.  The time since that day has been just awful and when I reached this anniversary, I just couldn't believe it.  All I think about is all the years ahead without…"
Sep 7
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the death of my wife.  I spent the day unable to believe it has been 5 years but somewhat surprised at how well I handled the day.  Today I have kept having outbursts of crying and overwhelming memories…"
Sep 7
Emmyk replied to Amy R's discussion So many questions in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"That is horrific for you. Im so sorry. Just know yoy aren't alone. Know we dont think you are some kind of monster and know that we validate what you guys had and the love that existed there. Try not to fixate on the particulars that you have…"
Sep 4
Joe Kelly left a comment for Maria
"Maria, The only comfort I can possibly provide is that your mother and father are blissfully reunited eternally in spirit.  I lost my wife to cancer over 18 months ago.  We were together since age 16 and would had celebrated our 50th…"
Sep 3

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