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Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Linda Engberg on June 4, 2018 at 2:50pm

Hi L.O.

I know it is really hard to live without your Husband, we didn't have kids so that makes it worst, I have nothing left except my sweet little dog Babie J who is 13 years old and not doing well. So now I have to watch her suffer like I did my Husband. I really don't live in this world anymore, I just exist. 

Regards, Linda

Comment by L.O on June 4, 2018 at 1:03pm

I don't think i can cope anymore, i thought i was doing ok but im in bits. Im in pain all over but the drs cant find anything wrong, i miss him so much that the thought of never seeing him or even hearing his voice again is killing me. Iv been out to see old friends thinking this would help keep my mind busy but i still sleep alone, im still alone when the kids go to bed, the last one awake, the only one there for the kids. I don't how some of you have gone years when iv only gone a few months

Comment by Trina Mamoon on May 20, 2018 at 3:46pm

Beautiful, Linda! 

Comment by Nancy on May 20, 2018 at 11:33am

Love it. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 20, 2018 at 11:28am

Oops, forgot the picture 

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 20, 2018 at 11:26am

To all on this site.

This is hanging above my stove. Everyone of us had a royal wedding.

Comment by JenShep on May 20, 2018 at 9:22am

Alice, I totally understand what you’re expressing and I feel the same way although my certainty waxes and wanes. Sometimes I feel so good because I know he’s right here with me and sometimes I can’t feel it and sink back down into hell again. I’ve had a few amazing experiences where I’ve actually felt Tom climb in bed and wrap himself around me. I’ve heard him trying to talk to me - HIS voice. And then months will go by with nothing except my own “feeling” that he’s here. Or worse, my feeling that he’s not. I try the same thing - to push my thoughts to how things are now instead of the physical him that I am missing but it’s still so hard. I keep trying to learn to communicate with him. I meditate. I’ve tried Reiki. I’m just going to keep trying. Probably I’ll keep getting frustrated and sad but I feel like all I can do is keep trying. I guess I’ll just keep having the ups and downs. I just hope to get better at feeling him here. I wish I had been born with the ability like some seem to have been. I feel like my mission now while I’m still here is to learn to do this. 

Comment by Trina Mamoon on May 19, 2018 at 5:19pm

The royal wedding evoked similar feelings for me as John T. Joseph and I loved watching PBS shows, especially Masterpiece and Mystery, and we watched together the coverage of Princess Diana's tragic death and Prince William And Kate's wedding. So when Prince Harry shed tears, presumably, for his late mother I couldn't stop crying myself. It brought back anew so many memories with Joseph, our idyllic time together for 19 blessed years. I have reconciled myself to living out my life to its natural end. I pray every single day for my early death, but I can not take my own life: apart from being a woman of faith, I also can't subject my family to the kind of grief it would cause if I were to end my own life. Alas, I will have to go on living without my darling Joseph at my side. Please God, let it be soon.

The wedding was very moving. And like morgan, I, too, wish the royal couple much happiness and a long life together. May they know the kind of love that we, on this site, have known with our spouses.

Comment by John T. on May 19, 2018 at 2:49pm

It was when they sang "Stand By Me" that I turned it off.  I never heard that song presented in that way and suddenly the words had profound meaning.  Then I started thinking how much my wife would have loved watching the wedding and how we would have talked about everything that happened.  We were true anglophiles and I can't even watch the British programs on PBS anymore.  There is no one to share them with and they only make me even more aware of her not being here with me.  I've read this will pass.  I'm not holding my breath.

Comment by Nancy on May 19, 2018 at 2:06pm

I feel the very same Morgan.  I had a love affair for 43 years.  We have 3 children who are still devastated but would be completely paralyzed if I did something like you are talking about.  I will bear this pain and remain alone for the sake of my kids and grandkids.  They hurt enough.  Please think things through.  I know exactly how much you hurt.

 

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Profile IconM Ferruzza and Analucia joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
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Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Dream Moon, I hate the big C also."
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Georgette Benson added a discussion to the group "Till death do us part", a letter to my husband
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Widow as a newlywed

When i got married March 25th 2019 was one of the Best days of my life i was marrying the man of my Dreams,My best friend,My soul mate. Even though it was one of the happiest day of my life but it was also a sad day.Because i was marrying the man of my Dreams knowing that i only had a little time left with him. He was diagnosed in December of 2018 of stage 4 lung and kidney cancer that day was one of the worst days of our lives. I thought but when the time came and he took his last breath that…See More
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Georgette Benson replied to heathert's discussion a letter to my king in the group "Till death do us part", a letter to my husband
"My condolences i know your pain all so well. I just lost my husband 7/9/2019 to cancer an im exactly where you are with my grief."
yesterday
Georgette Benson joined Debbie's group
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"Till death do us part", a letter to my husband

How do I begin to thank you for the life you have given me. A life that included 4 loving children, 4 beautiful grandchildren and memories that will last forever.We had more then the romantic love we had when we first met almost 40 years ago. That fades with time. Through the ups and downs, fights and reconciliations, laughter and tears we had something more. We had true love, commitment, trust, and most importantly we had friendship. Since 1975 we have been together to celebrate every…See More
yesterday
Georgette Benson is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"i no i get wk mometns ido but trynin 2 stayy strongg is not is a eayss thng 3 fo o iyd oy "
yesterday
dream moon JO B replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"so sorry on yore loss u can olnly do it wen u reddyy i no i had a loto of set bacs i di d but we all difnro peplee we is i no in 2018 i fondmy slf goin 2 spirtlastt churchh for ansesrd in steds of try  to seak medims lk a fe wpeplee do on…"
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dream moon JO B commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"i hateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bigc i hateeeeeeeeeeeeee lozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz coz of big c im 44 sean somushh siffin sorry if im rantin justt i need 2 let go coz of big c lpluss othr illness 2 i do "
yesterday
dream moon JO B commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"i do not luv bigc now iv fw mro frinds its got termil big c sum few yrs oldr thnme just undr 50  few peppel weari livs gotbig c' wish i cud shoot big c lk dem/ALZ in to md of nowear sp no 1 cud get it'"
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"I lost my brother in-law who really was my brother for 39 years 9 weeks ago tragically and suddenly on his holidays while kite surfing"
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Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bless you Morgan.  You say it all."
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Lisa is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan Thanks for sharing how you cope without your Husband.  You put into words what I cannot express. "
Tuesday
Dolly commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Do we ever stop having those days that seem just like the day it all happened? when nothing else seems real and all we feel is the pain again? does it ever just not happen any more? "
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Martha Dee is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Monday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Part 2Linda, yes and yes, I "laugh on the outside and cry on the inside".  And the laugh (or just plain conversation) is just part of how I cope for when I have to be around others.  But it means nothing.  It’s like we…"
Monday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Part 1 Bless you and thanks to each one of you who keep writing about how you feel and how you cope.  I always feel support knowing I am not alone.  What I don't get (and not that any one of us can give it) is the answer to how I can…"
Monday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's a Catch 22, impossible to solve.  I accept Her body isn't alive anymore, but I HAVE TO HAVE HER BODY ALIVE AND STILL WITH ME and I want that to be forever.  I know that's impossible, but I STILL HAVE TO HAVE IT!!! …"
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