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Lost My Spouse...

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loost my spouce 3 Replies

Lost my spouce a couple of weeks ago and now what do I do with the rest of my life after 55 years with the same person?Continue

Started by kathy. Last reply by Linda Engberg yesterday.

loost my spouce

This aloneness is not going to be fun.  It is so lonely without him.Continue

Started by kathy on Tuesday.

Healing 16 Replies

Hello,I've been reading the messages here and it's brought back memories of an earlier time in my grief. I feel for each of you. This loss is the most difficult of human struggles -- at least it has…Continue

Tags: joy, on, moving, healing

Started by Trevy Thomas. Last reply by Vicki on Monday.

In agony 12 Replies

I lost my wife 6 weeks ago and I'm in agony every day.  We've been together for 51 years, married for 48.  Met at age 16.  We were like one person.  We knew everything about each other.  No secrets,…Continue

Started by joe kelly. Last reply by Trevy Thomas Apr 9.

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Comment by bluebird on March 16, 2018 at 11:27pm

Sheila,

It is unbearable. So many of us here are in the same kind of situation, so we can empathize. I hope that coming to this site helps you. {{{{hugs}}}}

Comment by Sheila Ferguson on March 16, 2018 at 11:13pm

I lost my husband in February 2018 and I am finding it unbearable without him.  How are we supposed to carry on like this?  It is terrible.

Comment by L.O on March 16, 2018 at 5:59pm

Been to hospital again tonight for my chest, they run all the test and still cant find anything wrong. Gave me two paracetamol and sent me home. Sat here alone in pain not just from my chest but pain from missing him. Its been almost 6 months and nothing is getting easier my chest scares me when its like this. I hardly sleep, eat, don't really go out, don't want to talk to those i use to. I have little ones too so i have to get out of bed in the mornings otherwise id stay init all day and cry. I really don't know what to do anymore

Comment by Marjorie Willcox on March 16, 2018 at 10:07am

I feel the same way. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 16, 2018 at 6:32am

Lost without him,

Thank you, I only stay on this earth because I have no choice. I just pray for God to take me.

Comment by Lost with out him on March 15, 2018 at 9:25pm

Love this Picture Linda! Yes you are still married forever and ever. I feel exactly the same way! Happy Anniversary ❤️❤️❤️

Comment by Lost with out him on March 15, 2018 at 9:19pm

My friends you are the only people that understand. I too am broken, ir's been 13 months of HELL on earth. Going through the motions.. Wish I were dead truly. I have tried to " live" without him,but I can't. I also will be alone until the day I join him. As I have said before I feel like the walking dead. He was my world❤️

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 14, 2018 at 7:04am

Today is mine and Julian's 37th anniversary, 3/14/81, even though he is heaven and I am living in hell, we are still married, just in different places.

Comment by Alice Thompson on March 13, 2018 at 4:56pm

Thanks to you too, JenShep. It does me so much good to be able to tell someone who knows what I am talking about. My continuing relationship with him is the most real part of my life now, and while I do mention it to some people, mostly I let them believe I mean it in a kind of metaphorical way, not that he’s actually right beside me touching me. I tell my children about it, but who knows what they really believe? Your experiences are beautiful. With love, Alice

Comment by JenShep on March 13, 2018 at 12:52pm

Nancy,

Yup, yup, yup. I know I shouldn't compare with other people's losses but I do think this is the worst. We lose our biggest love and we lose in all parts of life too. We eat dinner alone. We go to bed alone. We don't have someone to run to the grocery store for us to pick up the one thing we need for dinner. I see my neighbors out taking a walk together and I no longer have anyone to take a walk with. We don't have our spouse to spend holidays with. To go out to dinner with. To complain about work or family to. To cry to. When the kitchen sink leaks all over the floor, we have to handle it ourselves all while completely falling apart. We have to carry all the heavy stuff by ourselves. We are the odd ones out among all of the married couples - which highlights our loss and our difference. We don't have that one person who always has our back anymore. It is 100% life altering in every aspect. I find it difficult when parents who have lost adult children compare with me. My great aunt lost her daughter at age 21 and her husband late in life and said that there was nothing harder than losing her husband. It sucks. 

 

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Latest Activity

Virginia G commented on morgan's blog post How long can I last?
"Morgan, i know you said you don’t like meds, but maybe one of the natural supplements for anxiety could lessen the meltdowns?  Just a suggestion.  I’m the opposite, don’t know why I’m not having constant breakdowns,…"
3 hours ago
Virginia G left a comment for morgan
"Morgan, thanks for the comment on my blog.  I read a few of your posts and I have the same desire to get out of here as soon as possible.  I’m only 47 and there’s no way I can wait until I’m old.  I’m afraid if…"
3 hours ago
Brett Bowman and Virginia G are now friends
5 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Brett Bowman's blog post How Far is Heaven?
"Virginia, while I don't know you, I don know this... your mom knew that you loved/love her. And there is a cold reality in all of this. No matter how hard I tried, my mom still died. There was no stopping it. It was like trying to hold back a…"
5 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Brett Bowman's blog post How Far is Heaven?
"Oatmeal, As I read your blog, I cried and cried.  It’s all too familiar and all too heartbreaking.  My Mom and I did everything together.  I always lived with both parents, but my Dad was always the quiet type that liked to do…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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6 hours ago
morgan commented on Virginia G's blog post Post traumatic stress disorder
"Virginia, We ask ourselves alot of questions when we suffer such a great loss as a loved one.  All of your questions I have asked myself over and over as I have tried to live beyond the loss of my husband.  I've not answered them…"
8 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is so hard. My sister whose husband passed away April 9th 2018 does not want to see me right now because I remind her of Mom's passing a year ago Feb 14th. She does not do it to be mean or hurtful. She is just too full of grief for her…"
12 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sorry for the typos"
12 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal. You have to do those things in memory of your mom should would want  you to do it I truly believe that I’m not saying that I don’t cry every day because I do I get in bed at night I cry when I’m sitting home alone I…"
12 hours ago
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"In 3 months, it will be a year since my mom passed away. It feels like it was yesterday. I know I asked this before but when does it get easier to do activities that you and your mother did together? I cant bring myself to do anything that reminds…"
13 hours ago
Alice Thompson commented on Virginia G's blog post Post traumatic stress disorder
"Hello Virginia, I’m so sorry you are going through this hell. PTSD has been part of my grieving process too. I think that when we lose someone who is absolutely essential to us, our brains don’t have the ability to adjust to the changed…"
16 hours ago
Virginia G posted a blog post

Post traumatic stress disorder

I am experiencing post traumatic stress disorder.  Some days I cry a lot, others not much.  I get upset when I don’t cry.  I feel as if I should be crying all day every day because the thing I feared the most my whole life happened.  How have I not had ten heart attacks by now?  Some days I have bad flashbacks of the hospital.  Other days I feel like I can’t process what happened.  Is my mind blocking what happened to protect me from the pain?  Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind.  Am I…See More
23 hours ago
Marlene Kublin is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Ginger posted a blog post

Today is 2 months since I lost my only daughter to cancer and to me being reminded in some way  of what used to be is a hard one for me. She was my best friend, we talked quite often and I visited on…

Today is 2 months since I lost my only daughter to cancer and to me being reminded in some way  of what used to be is a hard one for me. She was my best friend, we talked quite often and I visited on occasion. When friends talk about their adult daughters it brings to light the realization that I once had that and I don't anymore and the tears come. I guess when I'm not reminded,I want to still think she is here,only a phone call away. Already many things have changed, we used to talk on the…See More
yesterday
Linda Engberg replied to kathy's discussion loost my spouce in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kathy, The group I belong to is "Still Mourn Husband after 5 Years" they also have other groups or you can start your own. Linda"
yesterday
lorraine knight posted a discussion

Grief that hits you at odd moments

While grocery shopping I noted a man sitting waiting for his wife as I surmised, my husband used to do wait patiently for me. It hit me hard that I no longer had anyone waiting for me.  So alone after 36 years.......See More
yesterday
AnneJ. commented on morgan's blog post How long can I last?
"Ah, Morgan. And Bluebird and Linda and Mel and Alice and all you others who let me walk with you from cave to cave during these dreadful years of an examined life. I'm so tired I can't even write lately; our old friends, where are they...…"
Wednesday
kathy replied to kathy's discussion loost my spouce in the group Lost My Spouse...
"The discussion groups, are they on this web site?"
Tuesday
Linda Engberg replied to kathy's discussion loost my spouce in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kathy, The best online support group I found is "Grief Healing Discussion Groups", my Husband has been gone 5 years and everyday is still hell, this site you on now did not help.  Linda  "
Tuesday

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