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Lost My Spouse...

Members: 340
Latest Activity: on Friday

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Lost my wife 4 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Kyle McKay on Friday.

Two loves die - Sudden Death worse for griever 3 Replies

7 wksago my live together 10 yrs love collapsed dead in one minute sudden cardiac.I cannot deal with the unfinished business I was working on with him who I love so deeply.my eyes hurt so much from…Continue

Tags: endings, different, die, loves, Two

Started by CH. Last reply by Marjorie Willcox Feb 6.

Total numbness 22 Replies

It is nearing 2 years since I lost my husband, and I have one week where I think things might be getting better, then the next week I crash into darkness again.I keep thinking something must really…Continue

Started by Maxey. Last reply by Linda Engberg Feb 5.

There Is No Loss 11 Replies

While I admit to being psychologically complex lol, I realize how ignorant I have been. I have spent time going after women who resemble Her in any sort of way. After all the days and nights gazing…Continue

Started by Jon-Paul Ackerman. Last reply by Ericka Jan 23.

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Comment by Rose C Gianopoulos on January 22, 2018 at 3:55pm

Marjorie I  understand what you mean that you are living for your children.  I have 4 daughters and 4 grandchildren but I also feel as if I can not live the rest of my life without Peter.  We were together for 51 years and I feel as if we were cheated because he battled cancer, kidney and lung, for 10 years.  He came out of everyone clean from cancer and died because he was too weak to fight the pneumonia.  

Comment by Marjorie Willcox on January 22, 2018 at 7:38am

Rose I'm retired and face the rest of my life alone without my husband and have 3 grown up boys I have to live for but I just feel I can't do it.

Comment by Rose C Gianopoulos on January 22, 2018 at 6:48am

Thank you Linda.   I am so lost without him.  I still work full time but it is taking every bone in my body to get out of bed and get going.  At home I am paralyzed.  It takes me days to do the simple things like changing my bed linens or emptying the dishwasher.  I do have a strong support system at home and knew I needed something more. That is why I searched out this group.  Thank you for welcoming me. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on January 22, 2018 at 6:40am

Welcome Rose,

I am very sorry for your loss, it has been 5 years for me and not a day goes by that I don't miss him. He was my whole life, all I do now is try to carry on the best way I know how, but my heart will never heal.

Comment by Bruce Armstrong on January 20, 2018 at 8:58pm

Rose-Lost my wife after 54 years one day at a time and it's ok to cry try to talk to friends tell the same story to them how you feel they do not know learn to say no to things -small things will overwhelm you and you will forget things after 7 months-I count my better time in hours not in days yet it is a long road so lonely take care of yourself and your not alone with this hurt

Comment by Nancy on January 20, 2018 at 8:20pm

Rose. 8 months for me.  We would have been married 44 years last month.   Weekends are the worst for me as I'm still working and keep busy during the week.   I'm very hollow.

Comment by Rose C Gianopoulos on January 20, 2018 at 7:49pm

Good evening,  This is my first time in the group.  I lost my husband 3 months ago today.  Each and every Saturday brings me back to the greatest pain I have ever felt.  It has not gotten any better.  

We were married for 50 years and Peter died 21 days after our 50th Anniversary Celebration.  I am lost without him and I am reaching out.  

Comment by Elynn m on January 12, 2018 at 6:13pm

Jennifer,

I'm so sorry.  Your husband was so young.  It is very hard to imagine life without our precious husbands.  We can help each other here. I am very grateful for this site.  I am free to express my feelings, because I know that the friends here understand what I'm going through, unlike others are able to do.   Jennifer, please continue to join us, because I'm sure we can glean from your wisdom and experience.

Comment by Jennifer Vecchio on January 12, 2018 at 5:08pm

Hi. I am new to this group. I recently lost my husband who was just 37 years old this December. It was shocking and very traumatic for me. We were together for 15 years. I am completely devasted and can't even imagine a life without him in it! I don't know what to do. Everyday it gets harder and harder. I feel so alone. 

Comment by bluebird on January 6, 2018 at 7:03pm

morgan,

I know what you mean. Before I met my husband I had published poems, completed college and grad school, backpacked around Europe, worked at a law firm, lived in my own apartment, etc.  Then once I met him my life expanded even more, he was and is the love of my life, my only love, and we enriched each other. Our life wasn't perfect, but I had things I enjoyed, and I was able to DO things (alone and with my husband).

Not anymore, not since my husband died. Like you, I can't watch anything with loving couples, and I don't want to see them in real life either (nor couples/families with young kids, which now I will never have). I can't buy or eat the foods he and/or we loved. I can't watch the tv shows we enjoyed together. I can't do this either.

It's as you said, "....the remembering of how content I was rears its head and I come crashing down."  I would say that I don't even give the impression of having things together or making progress, I doubt anyone would say that of me  now (especially my family, who know better), but even so, if I am having an ok moment/day it all crashes back into me, knowing how much I love him, and how we will never have our life together as we should have, and that he is dead, and that I will never be happy again in this life.  Never. So what is the point?

At the very least, allow yourself to "....crawl in bed, pull up the covers and stop" on some days/nights, the worst ones.  It sucks that it's necessary, but you are entitled to do it if you want/need to.

I initially came to websites like this one looking not for ways to stop my grief, but for some proof of an afterlife. I have not found that, in part I think because I've realized that nothing anyone else experiences or says could possibly be proof enough for me. I can only accept such proof from my husband, from him coming to me somehow.

As you said, it's that I cannot live without him. Any time I have lived and will live since he died is wasted.  

I know you feel much as I do; I truly do hope you are able to find some peace, however that may come.

 

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Latest Activity

Jenni H posted a blog post

Totally tired of my life and lack of emotions.

My mother had a stroke in October of 2015. She changed over night due to the aphasia and brain damage. She was a new person, half of who she once was. I began grieving my mother in October. I turned of all emotion and detached myself during the caregiving. It was just way too hard for me to deal with her conditions and my father's emotions. My family are gifted with abilities, mine was empathy and third sight. Most may not believe in that stuff, but it is more than real to me due to years of…See More
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Fernanda Alonzo joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

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Fernanda Alonzo updated their profile
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Suzette Laree Arch replied to Suzette Laree Arch's discussion 4 months and I can't stop crying in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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Jamie replied to Jamie's discussion I'm new here and going through a very hard time. in the group Multiple Losses Group
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Becky W replied to Jamie's discussion I'm new here and going through a very hard time. in the group Multiple Losses Group
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yesterday
Jamie added a discussion to the group Multiple Losses Group
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I'm new here and going through a very hard time.

Hello everyone. I'm new to this site.I lost my grandfather in June of 2017. A few weeks later, my grandmother passed away. My grandmother and I were very close. She was more of a mother to me than a grandmother. It was very hard on me. Only three months after the death of my grandma, on December 18th of 2017, my father passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly. I never got to say goodbye. I lost the three most important people in my life within a few short months and I am having a very hard…See More
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Jamie joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
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Jamie updated their profile
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Profile IconMiriata Oranje, Fernanda Alonzo, Kristyn Lohoff and 8 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Jenni H commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Lost Without My Mom
"My mom died on February 25, 2017. She had a stroke a year and half that rendered her paralyzed and she had aphasia. I was her caregiver. It was extremely impossible to stomach seeing my mother constantly in pain. My nerves and mental state was gone…"
Friday
Jenni H joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Lost Without My Mom

My mom died, August 17, 2009 of an apparent heart attack from heart failure. Her doctors never told me how sick she was and so I was blown away and am heart sick and lost without her.
Friday
Raven Richardson posted a blog post

I'm so hurt

I feel like my i have no support. I lost my bf and oct of 2017 and i lost my baby Nov 2017. I'm so hurt. I dont have anybody 2 talk 2. My bf family dont even check on me 2 make sure I'm ok. See More
Friday
Kyle McKay replied to Kyle McKay's discussion Lost my wife in the group Lost My Spouse...
"thank you sweetie its hard"
Friday
Darien replied to Suzette Laree Arch's discussion 4 months and I can't stop crying in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Not sure why I didn't get a notice about your post. I always try to respond promptly. As it is, I got a notification for a post I can't find, so.... In a little less than 4 months it will 2 yrs since I had my soul shredded. I'm…"
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Rhonda Robinson left a comment for Michele Huddleston
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Thursday
B.Windsor posted a blog post

it's been one year

Tomorrow, it'll be one year since Shelby died. No matter how things seem at any given time, the darkness has set in.  i just can't shake it.  i've continued having physical issues going on, and haven't been able to get in to see the doctor, yet--my appointment is for Monday.  i'm tired of trying to keep going.  i still haven't even begun to work on the planning of Shelby's going away party, yet, either.  *sigh  At this point, my hope is that once i can get straightened out, or at least find out…See More
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Mine as well."
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"TTo My Husband Julian"
Wednesday

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