Lost My Spouse...

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Total numbness 6 Replies

It is nearing 2 years since I lost my husband, and I have one week where I think things might be getting better, then the next week I crash into darkness again.I keep thinking something must really…Continue

Started by Maxey. Last reply by Linda Engberg Sep 13.

Another Long Weekend Alone 7 Replies

This weekend will be the fifth Labor Day I have not been able to celebrate with my Husband, thanks to the devil's disease cancer. As far as I am concerned one day is the same as next, just waiting to…Continue

Started by Linda Engberg. Last reply by Linda Engberg Sep 9.

Moved, but nothing changes 5 Replies

I moved from the beautiful Northwest to Austin, TX to be closer to my family, but nothing seems to change. My sadness and loneliness seem to follow me wherever I go. I thought maybe a change in…Continue

Started by Maxey. Last reply by irina s Sep 8.

They don't understand. 3 Replies

How do you deal with well meaning family/friends who just don't understand what you're going through? 2 of my sisters-in-law still have their husbands.  One does not have a good marriage, she talks…Continue

Started by Jennifer. Last reply by Helen Maez Sep 3.

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Comment by Jennifer on August 15, 2017 at 8:07pm

I am having such a horrible day.  It has been one month since my husband passed and everything I had to do today kept reminding me he was gone.  Then just a little while ago I forgot for one second and called out to him to ask what he wanted for dinner.  It hit me like a ton of bricks and I couldn't stop crying.  Which in turn upset our kids and that made me cry even harder.  Finally got myself under control but I can tell the smallest thing will set me off again.  Hopefully, it will wait a few hours until the kids are in bed.    

Comment by Elynn m on August 11, 2017 at 10:24am


     I'm so sorry for all of your grief.     It's too bad about your family.    I'm sure they loved Jack.    He sounds like a person that everyone loved, because he made everyone feel like family.   We lost our son when Joe was still alive.    Yes, it was devastating, but I had Joe to grief with me, and we both knew that Jonathan was with Jesus.   I had someone to help me through it, but losing Joe left an empty house.   I understand what you feel about coming home to an empty house.

(I'm going to send you a message)


Comment by bluebird on August 10, 2017 at 9:20pm


I am sorry you are in this hell too.  Many of us here know what it is like. {{{{hugs}}}}

Comment by Jennifer on August 10, 2017 at 5:31pm

My husband passed last month.  I shift from numb to agonizing despair.  I dont recognize myself in the mirror anymore.  I dont really have a good support system.  I have heard so many times that I am to young to be a widow, that I will find someone new, it will all be alright, that I'm holding up well.  I dont feel like I'm even holding it together let alone doing it well.  He was the love of my life and it doesn't seem like anyone I know understands what that even means let alone losing it.  I have 2 children, 9 and 10, and I am trying my best to help them with their grief.  I am just so unbearably sad and lost.

Comment by Ronnie Luethy on August 7, 2017 at 11:32am

It's almost 3 months since Annette passed. It seems my 'numb' time has ended and I'm back to despair. I stare at pictures and don't understand how she can't be here. I don't feel whole now. James is 14 year old and offers me sympathy and support. He is so strong. Im trying to do things, but my confusion and despair keep interrupting. righting this helps because I don't know anyone in my life who understands this. 

Comment by Beth Swansboro on August 4, 2017 at 1:43pm

My nook needs recharged so I have to go. I will be coming on here now. Look forward to finding new friends here.

Comment by Beth Swansboro on August 4, 2017 at 1:40pm

I lost my Bob a year and a half ago and it still feels like yesterday. We were high school sweetheartstudents married almost 42 yrs. I have an only child an adult son. I am so list now and I work on trying to realize he would want me to go on but I am just not getting there. I meant to say h,s. Sweet hearts, my son is very lost without his dad. We both are like the day we lost him our lives stopped. Our plans on retirement together will not happen now. My Mum passed 18 months before my husband. I got a double whammy. Kim I know how you feel, still want to see him come home from work with his smile hello. Holding hands when we went to sleep. They tell us things get better. I guess they will but Kim we will always miss them. I cry a lot. I get mad and then try and think of a happy memory.  Unless someone has lost their love of their life they can'take understand. People will try and help but it does not help. Friends mean well but again they don't understand  our loss, I will keep you in my prayers and we can keep in touch here. ☺

Comment by Elynn m on August 1, 2017 at 5:08pm
Kim, I can see why you miss him so much. He was a wonderful man who touched a lot of lives, that's how my husband, Joe, was. Everywhere he went he touched someone's life. He had a gift of encouragement, and made strangers feel like they were family!
Comment by Nancy on July 27, 2017 at 3:52pm
I'm right there with you all. I'm not interested in taking care of myself. I don't have the energy or desire right now. I'm doing good to get up in the morning...
Comment by Paul on July 27, 2017 at 12:30pm
How do we continue on when The One who chose to be with us for the remainder of our lives is no longer here? The One who has experienced life's ups and downs with you? The One who has raised a family with you? The One who shared happy as well as sad times with you? The One whose mere presence made everything OK again? I know these questions are unanswerable but this is where I find myself these days. Love to all who are unfortunately in the same situation.

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Latest Activity

Alice Thompson commented on Pamela philipp's blog post Empty
"Good luck, Pamela :-) It is so hard to live among others when your inner life is so different from theirs. I think that after the first year I gave up expecting anyone to understand what is really going on for me. Sometimes I tell them anyway, but…"
5 hours ago
Teresa D. commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Karen, you saying your not helpful is very untrue.  I hate to say it but those ahead of me let me know I'm okay.  Those ahead keep me from feeling disappointed or like something is wrong with me because I'm not "moving…"
9 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I try to do that as well, Bluebell. I always want to be a son who makes my mom proud. I wish that I could somehow know that mom is still aware of me somehow. That she knows how much I miss her and love her. I just don't know if she does.…"
11 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am not there yet either Brett.It is so hard to be without her. But I keep putting one foot in front of the other, not to move away from her, but instead to live up to what I think she wanted me to be. Bluebell"
12 hours ago
Pamela philipp posted a blog post


It's been 2 years since I lost my mother and my husband and I am still lost and still very much alone in my grief I haven't been on this site in a while I've been trying to get by every day it's not working too well I'm struggling really really hard my family is still not around I guess they think I am OK that I'm doing fine little do theyknow that I'm not they are coming to my house this Saturday for a cook out because it's something my mother wanted me to do that's the only reason I agreed to…See More
13 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"For sure my mom will always be a part of us. But there may come a day when I don't remember her voice or mannerisms as clearly as I do now. There may be a day that I have to look at a picture to remember exactly what she looked like. All of…"
23 hours ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Exactly Bruce and M. Nothing is the same"
Bruce Armstrong commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Take a trip would be great if you had that very special person to share it with-people just don't understand how much it takes away from you as a person"
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This take a trip advice must be widespread -- I was so stunned to get repeated phone calls and letters from one aunt telling me to go on a cruise within a month of my husband's death. I guess my non response is why there were both letters and…"
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bruce, it's just overwhelming at times.  This month is our anniversary, the anniversary of our first date (the most significant date to her), and the 3rd year since I lost her.  I have no one to talk to about any of this because my…"
Bruce Armstrong commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"So lonely in the evening house is empty nobody here -been 3 months after 54 years with her I miss her and can't seem to stop crying need that companion and love close"
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett I think they will always be a part of us."
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, right now my mom is so incredibly fresh in my mind. I do fear that the day will come when that is no longer the case. I don't want my memories to fade away. That is one of the issues that I have with, "letting go.""
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you said it perfectly"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is true that being anxious will not help anything. There are so many things in life that we just have no control over. This is certainly one of them. It's just so hard to stop having those feelings though. My stomach is tied in knots right…"
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, it will in time... I talked things through in my mind a lot and said to myself well I was anxious yesterday and the day before and it did not change anything, I did see my dr and took something for a few months and I am now weaning off of…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Prayers sent. God Bless you and give you strength and peace."
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Today we moved everything out of Mom's apartment. It has uncovered a new layer of grief and I am utterly exhausted. My house and garage are in complete disarray with boxes everywhere. I feel so bogged down with things and things to to. I have…"
Luisa Salter replied to Crystal K's discussion Its hard accepting my mother's death in the group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal I am so sorry. I lost my Mom on August 30th, and I understand this sense of coldness and feeling like a zombie. When people ask me how I am feeling, I tell them that I go back and forth between numb and devastated. It seems like I will cry…"
Karen bentl posted a status
"Yes, I realize no one can actually hear me... I was just reaching out..."

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