Information

Lost My Spouse...

Members: 306
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Grief 7 Replies

It has been 11 weeks since my husband has passed.  We are planning the celebration of life for him.  I miss him so much the grief is eating away at me.  My heartaches everyday for him.  I want to…Continue

Started by KIM Montgomery. Last reply by KIM Montgomery 16 hours ago.

Lost without my husband 13 Replies

I'm confused with this forum. Don't know if I'm supposed to post it as a comment or add a discussion so I apologize for doing both. I'm looking for grief support. I lost my husband on April 19th…Continue

Started by Jules. Last reply by Evelyn Blume on Saturday.

THOSE THREE WORDS: "I LOVE YOU"

Annette's been dead just under eight months. My grieving hasn't stopped. I try but I keep getting worse mentally and physically. My groin has swollen more and now due to the fluid build its reaching…Continue

Started by Richard Rivera on Friday.

I've become numb. 7 Replies

Annette passed May 19th. I was devastated that my soulmate had gone. After being inconsolable and a fountain of tears, over night a few days ago, I was suddenly numb.  I find it hard to care about…Continue

Started by Ronnie Luethy. Last reply by Linda Engberg Jul 16.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Lost My Spouse... to add comments!

Comment by irina s on July 17, 2017 at 7:07pm

I came cross this tshirt on ebay and order it...& going to wear it with proud even out in public... anyone have similar like this tshirt if you want order it here the link 

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Miss-My-Husband-Im-Not-A-Widow-Wife-Awaits-...

Comment by Lost with out him on July 17, 2017 at 6:56pm
Bluebird,so sorry to hear about the passing of your dear sweet Benny. I have two cats and know the love I have for on them. Thinking about you during this difficult time (( hug))

Xx
Comment by AnneJ on July 17, 2017 at 2:15pm

bluebird, please accept my condolences on the passing of Benny. He's been through it all with you and I'm so sorry. I have my connection cat who is old and he's been my sole company for years. I cherish the days we have left. Crap, it's so hard to say... Benny, your faithful boy. hugs to you, AnneJ.

Comment by KIM Montgomery on July 17, 2017 at 10:18am

Hello, last night was very interesting.  I heard my husbands footsteps up and down the hall twice, like he was telling me he was with me.  When I woke up I found myself in the fetal position on his side of the bed.  I want this pain to go away.  I tried so hard to be normal this weekend.  Go out and do a few things.  I find myself getting up a t 5:30 in the morning and done by 1 or 2 in the afternoon.  I am not sure how I am managing through this pain; I feel it is starting to consume me.  I did so much better when I first started back to work.  I want to be with my husband. I keep thinking this can't be real.  I finally called one of my friends.  She said she didn't know what to say so was waiting for me to call her.  I don't like this alone space and even with my family around I feel lost.  I am currently alone for the next week.  The kids will be back Sunday.  I am hoping it will me with some distraction.  I know life is not fair, but I wasn't ready to loose my husband.  I feel beat down.

Comment by Alice Thompson on July 17, 2017 at 1:07am
Bluebird, I am so sorry about Benny, and am thinking about you in your grief over your precious companion. It is beautiful, the way you loved him and held him to the end. A big hug to you.
Comment by KIM Montgomery on July 16, 2017 at 8:11pm

Elynn:  Yes it is Sunday one of the hardest days of the week for me.  I know the feel alone feeling.  I have my 2 dogs.  They have been my savior.  You can always share on here.  On here we all totally understand your thoughts, grief and feelings. Yesterday I had a major crying jag.  I am learning the more I stuff it in the longer it takes to heal.  I am slowly learning to talk about the loss of my husband Jack in May.  I loved him so much and still do. My daughter and grandkids will not be back until July 23.  I have another week of alone. I can talk to her but not the same conversations as you would have with your spouse.  I hope you have a nice evening.

Comment by John T. on July 16, 2017 at 6:55pm

bluebird, I was visiting my sister today and she brought up a cat I had a dozen years ago.  He was my best friend a very special little guy.  All of the sudden, I started crying and she looked shocked.  Next week is my wife's birthday and that's part of the way I feel but it's also the connection between that cat, Diane, and myself.  I have that same reaction to movies and television shows we watched together, the music we shared, and places we visited.  Her birthday will be really hard but there is actually no day that is not difficult at times.  If I lost one of the cats I have now, I would lose another connection to the life we shared together.  It would be devastating and no one in my family would understand.  Take care of yourself, bluebird, and God grant peace to all of you here.  Thank you each for understanding and talking about your feelings.  It helps some to know I'm not alone in the way I feel.

Comment by bluebird on July 16, 2017 at 6:27pm

Well the vet did come and put Benny (our cat) to sleep on July 10th.  It's sad, I'm sad, because I miss him and love him for himself, and also because he is a link to my husband, but it went as well as it could.  When the vet got here I asked her to please have a look at him to determine if this was really the right thing to do; she did, and she said she believed it was. He had lost more weight (about another 2 pounds in 2 weeks, and he only ever weight about 11 pounds at his heaviest), as he was hardly eating anything, maybe a couple of mouthfuls of food per day, and he was dehydrated (he was drinking, but not enough), and you could just see that he didn't feel well. 

So we went ahead with it. My sister was here to support me. At least I was able to hold Benny when the vet gave him the first shot, which just makes him comfortably go unconscious over the course of a few minutes, without anxiety or fear or pain.  So I just held him and hugged him, petting him and told him how much I love him and what a good boy he is, and to go to his Daddy and sister (our little girl cat Summer, who passed 8 or 10 years ago).  After a few minutes he was unconscious, then the vet gave him the other shot, but he didn't feel it, he wasn't aware (the vet said he was completely unconscious; she could have performed surgery and he wouldn't have felt anything or been aware of anything). I kept talking to him and petting him anyway, until he passed.

I'm sad about him not being here, and I love him and miss him very much, just as I do our cat Summer and of course my husband.  I can't get used to him not being here; There has been a cat in my life for the past 15 or so years, and I keep thinking "Oh, I need to feed Benny", or "Where's Benny? I want to go love on him and pet him", stuff like that.  The house is so empty and quiet and dead now.

Comment by Elynn m on July 16, 2017 at 6:15pm

I am reading everyone's thoughts today.   I am feeling lonely today.  Guess I've been busy a couple days this week, but it always hits me on the day after I've been so busy with other people.  I miss having Joe here to share my thoughts, or, to share time just sitting with me.....in his chair next to mine.   Didn't sleep well last night.

sorry to complain, but today has been very lonely.   It's Sunday, so I guess everyone is busy with their lives,...... and that's ok!    So I came to this site just to express my feelings.   Thanks for listening.

Comment by Linda Engberg on July 16, 2017 at 6:43am

Morgan,

Until we our together again, I got this tattoo with both our hands becoming one.

 

Members (306)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Panda commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Really missing my mom right now :/ she was the only one in my fd up family. And what hurts even more was I only really knew her for two weeks before she died cuz I got taken from her when I wasnt even two years old and when I turned 18 and had the…"
18 minutes ago
Panda joined Karen's group
Thumbnail

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
22 minutes ago
KIM Montgomery commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today is an especially rough day, can't really nail it down to one thing.  So many things going through my head.  I have had 2 weeks to my self to process everything that has happened in since my husband's diagnosis and passing.…"
2 hours ago
Hannah updated their profile
3 hours ago
Profile IconRilo, Rachel, Denise and 8 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
3 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Morgan, You said it perfect, there is nothing worth living for without my Husband to share it with."
5 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Its been one year and seven months it has not changed, but it does get "softer", you'll know what I mean. Every night I tell her I love her and I would love to hear her voice one more time.  "
7 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"And same here. I have bad days and tolerable days. I am having a real hard time without my Mom right now. Life just does not make sense anymore. But I keep going on through the motions of  living, hoping this deep sense of loss will ease…"
15 hours ago
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Grief in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nancy, yes it sounds like there were a lot of similarities in our situations.  I married late and so we would have celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary on August 16th of this year.  Jack's birthday was 12/29/2017. Cancer took my…"
16 hours ago
Doug replied to Cathy 's discussion My brother's death cirrhosis
"Hello Nancy, I don't know how both you, and Cathy, can carry on as well as you have after losing someone you loved so much? It's unbelievable to me that your husband's doctor could be so inept as to never test his liver function,…"
17 hours ago
Esther and Michael Thompson are now friends
18 hours ago
Esther commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Today has been waves of numb detachment for me... I try to be positive and hopeful but sometimes we can't force it and must just tolerate the sadness"
18 hours ago
JO B commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"sorry for evry 1 it goin thru hell i am  i feal k im livin in hell coz of all bad shit wev had coz of loss"
21 hours ago
Michael Thompson commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Morgan, how beautifully written...And spot on!"
21 hours ago
Joy commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Same here. As you said some days are tolerable while others are still bad. I try to keep myself distracted, but memories of my mom invade my thoughts throughout the day."
21 hours ago
morgan commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I have been struggling along trying to improve upon what I was left to deal with without my husbands unfailing support for four and half years.  I still want to die.  Everyday.  And of course he would want for me to not have to suffer…"
21 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Just wanted to see how everyone is doing, I have bad days and tolerable days. Its still very difficult, I miss her so much."
21 hours ago
Nancy replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Grief in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kim.  We have a lot of similarities.  Lost my husband to an aggressive cancer May 10th.  We had his celebration of life May 19th and it was truly a celebration with music, stories, food, a bonfire.  Just what he would've…"
23 hours ago
Nancy commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I don't think you are being an A hole.  I just think maybe you've had more time to clearly think and grieve.  I hope to get to the point where I can live my life without despair every waking moment as well.  I appreciate…"
yesterday
Michael C. Ramsey commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Not trying to be an A-hole here folks but, C'mon waiting/wanting to die? My Andrea is gone almost 3 years and she is always on my mind. I have good days and bad days BUT I try to live whatever days I have left the way she would want me to. She…"
yesterday

© 2017   Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service