Lost My Spouse...

Members: 306
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Grief 7 Replies

It has been 11 weeks since my husband has passed.  We are planning the celebration of life for him.  I miss him so much the grief is eating away at me.  My heartaches everyday for him.  I want to…Continue

Started by KIM Montgomery. Last reply by KIM Montgomery 16 hours ago.

Lost without my husband 13 Replies

I'm confused with this forum. Don't know if I'm supposed to post it as a comment or add a discussion so I apologize for doing both. I'm looking for grief support. I lost my husband on April 19th…Continue

Started by Jules. Last reply by Evelyn Blume on Saturday.


Annette's been dead just under eight months. My grieving hasn't stopped. I try but I keep getting worse mentally and physically. My groin has swollen more and now due to the fluid build its reaching…Continue

Started by Richard Rivera on Friday.

I've become numb. 7 Replies

Annette passed May 19th. I was devastated that my soulmate had gone. After being inconsolable and a fountain of tears, over night a few days ago, I was suddenly numb.  I find it hard to care about…Continue

Started by Ronnie Luethy. Last reply by Linda Engberg Jul 16.

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Comment by irina s on July 17, 2017 at 7:07pm

I came cross this tshirt on ebay and order it...& going to wear it with proud even out in public... anyone have similar like this tshirt if you want order it here the link

Comment by Lost with out him on July 17, 2017 at 6:56pm
Bluebird,so sorry to hear about the passing of your dear sweet Benny. I have two cats and know the love I have for on them. Thinking about you during this difficult time (( hug))

Comment by AnneJ on July 17, 2017 at 2:15pm

bluebird, please accept my condolences on the passing of Benny. He's been through it all with you and I'm so sorry. I have my connection cat who is old and he's been my sole company for years. I cherish the days we have left. Crap, it's so hard to say... Benny, your faithful boy. hugs to you, AnneJ.

Comment by KIM Montgomery on July 17, 2017 at 10:18am

Hello, last night was very interesting.  I heard my husbands footsteps up and down the hall twice, like he was telling me he was with me.  When I woke up I found myself in the fetal position on his side of the bed.  I want this pain to go away.  I tried so hard to be normal this weekend.  Go out and do a few things.  I find myself getting up a t 5:30 in the morning and done by 1 or 2 in the afternoon.  I am not sure how I am managing through this pain; I feel it is starting to consume me.  I did so much better when I first started back to work.  I want to be with my husband. I keep thinking this can't be real.  I finally called one of my friends.  She said she didn't know what to say so was waiting for me to call her.  I don't like this alone space and even with my family around I feel lost.  I am currently alone for the next week.  The kids will be back Sunday.  I am hoping it will me with some distraction.  I know life is not fair, but I wasn't ready to loose my husband.  I feel beat down.

Comment by Alice Thompson on July 17, 2017 at 1:07am
Bluebird, I am so sorry about Benny, and am thinking about you in your grief over your precious companion. It is beautiful, the way you loved him and held him to the end. A big hug to you.
Comment by KIM Montgomery on July 16, 2017 at 8:11pm

Elynn:  Yes it is Sunday one of the hardest days of the week for me.  I know the feel alone feeling.  I have my 2 dogs.  They have been my savior.  You can always share on here.  On here we all totally understand your thoughts, grief and feelings. Yesterday I had a major crying jag.  I am learning the more I stuff it in the longer it takes to heal.  I am slowly learning to talk about the loss of my husband Jack in May.  I loved him so much and still do. My daughter and grandkids will not be back until July 23.  I have another week of alone. I can talk to her but not the same conversations as you would have with your spouse.  I hope you have a nice evening.

Comment by John T. on July 16, 2017 at 6:55pm

bluebird, I was visiting my sister today and she brought up a cat I had a dozen years ago.  He was my best friend a very special little guy.  All of the sudden, I started crying and she looked shocked.  Next week is my wife's birthday and that's part of the way I feel but it's also the connection between that cat, Diane, and myself.  I have that same reaction to movies and television shows we watched together, the music we shared, and places we visited.  Her birthday will be really hard but there is actually no day that is not difficult at times.  If I lost one of the cats I have now, I would lose another connection to the life we shared together.  It would be devastating and no one in my family would understand.  Take care of yourself, bluebird, and God grant peace to all of you here.  Thank you each for understanding and talking about your feelings.  It helps some to know I'm not alone in the way I feel.

Comment by bluebird on July 16, 2017 at 6:27pm

Well the vet did come and put Benny (our cat) to sleep on July 10th.  It's sad, I'm sad, because I miss him and love him for himself, and also because he is a link to my husband, but it went as well as it could.  When the vet got here I asked her to please have a look at him to determine if this was really the right thing to do; she did, and she said she believed it was. He had lost more weight (about another 2 pounds in 2 weeks, and he only ever weight about 11 pounds at his heaviest), as he was hardly eating anything, maybe a couple of mouthfuls of food per day, and he was dehydrated (he was drinking, but not enough), and you could just see that he didn't feel well. 

So we went ahead with it. My sister was here to support me. At least I was able to hold Benny when the vet gave him the first shot, which just makes him comfortably go unconscious over the course of a few minutes, without anxiety or fear or pain.  So I just held him and hugged him, petting him and told him how much I love him and what a good boy he is, and to go to his Daddy and sister (our little girl cat Summer, who passed 8 or 10 years ago).  After a few minutes he was unconscious, then the vet gave him the other shot, but he didn't feel it, he wasn't aware (the vet said he was completely unconscious; she could have performed surgery and he wouldn't have felt anything or been aware of anything). I kept talking to him and petting him anyway, until he passed.

I'm sad about him not being here, and I love him and miss him very much, just as I do our cat Summer and of course my husband.  I can't get used to him not being here; There has been a cat in my life for the past 15 or so years, and I keep thinking "Oh, I need to feed Benny", or "Where's Benny? I want to go love on him and pet him", stuff like that.  The house is so empty and quiet and dead now.

Comment by Elynn m on July 16, 2017 at 6:15pm

I am reading everyone's thoughts today.   I am feeling lonely today.  Guess I've been busy a couple days this week, but it always hits me on the day after I've been so busy with other people.  I miss having Joe here to share my thoughts, or, to share time just sitting with his chair next to mine.   Didn't sleep well last night.

sorry to complain, but today has been very lonely.   It's Sunday, so I guess everyone is busy with their lives,...... and that's ok!    So I came to this site just to express my feelings.   Thanks for listening.

Comment by Linda Engberg on July 16, 2017 at 6:43am


Until we our together again, I got this tattoo with both our hands becoming one.


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