Lost My Spouse...

Members: 340
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Lost my wife 4 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Kyle McKay on Friday.

Two loves die - Sudden Death worse for griever 3 Replies

7 wksago my live together 10 yrs love collapsed dead in one minute sudden cardiac.I cannot deal with the unfinished business I was working on with him who I love so eyes hurt so much from…Continue

Tags: endings, different, die, loves, Two

Started by CH. Last reply by Marjorie Willcox Feb 6.

Total numbness 22 Replies

It is nearing 2 years since I lost my husband, and I have one week where I think things might be getting better, then the next week I crash into darkness again.I keep thinking something must really…Continue

Started by Maxey. Last reply by Linda Engberg Feb 5.

There Is No Loss 11 Replies

While I admit to being psychologically complex lol, I realize how ignorant I have been. I have spent time going after women who resemble Her in any sort of way. After all the days and nights gazing…Continue

Started by Jon-Paul Ackerman. Last reply by Ericka Jan 23.

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Comment by bluebird on July 19, 2017 at 7:21pm


I understand.  Aside from Summer and Benny, I still get sad about the loss of our dog Sandy, who we had when I was a kid and through my college years.  She died when I was in college, and I still love and miss her.  I don't think the pain when our loved ones (human or animal) die ever goes away.  With time it may become less harsh, less direct (depending on the person), but it never disappears.

I'm sure you cried for your cat in part because of him being one of the connections between you and Diane, especially with her birthday coming up. I know that is the case with me. It's as though each death exacerbates the pain of the others, at least for me. Are you planning to do anything on her birthday? Do you think it will be better for you to be alone, or to be with friends/family? Both are hard, of course, but just do whatever you think will be easier for you.


Anne and Lost, thank you.  

Comment by irina s on July 18, 2017 at 7:23pm

why some people get cancer and some people don't? ....yep kim i like come here & people talk about how they can't wait to pass so they can be with their love ones.. I want to pass away so badly to be with him and burial next to hurts and im so in plain.......what do any of you do on your esp events like bdays,annivs,holiday like vday, xmas i was told its painfully wrost feeling bc of the remember and shopping and gifts. now it's nothing. 

Comment by irina s on July 17, 2017 at 7:07pm

I came cross this tshirt on ebay and order it...& going to wear it with proud even out in public... anyone have similar like this tshirt if you want order it here the link

Comment by Lost with out him on July 17, 2017 at 6:56pm
Bluebird,so sorry to hear about the passing of your dear sweet Benny. I have two cats and know the love I have for on them. Thinking about you during this difficult time (( hug))

Comment by Alice Thompson on July 17, 2017 at 1:07am
Bluebird, I am so sorry about Benny, and am thinking about you in your grief over your precious companion. It is beautiful, the way you loved him and held him to the end. A big hug to you.
Comment by John T. on July 16, 2017 at 6:55pm

bluebird, I was visiting my sister today and she brought up a cat I had a dozen years ago.  He was my best friend a very special little guy.  All of the sudden, I started crying and she looked shocked.  Next week is my wife's birthday and that's part of the way I feel but it's also the connection between that cat, Diane, and myself.  I have that same reaction to movies and television shows we watched together, the music we shared, and places we visited.  Her birthday will be really hard but there is actually no day that is not difficult at times.  If I lost one of the cats I have now, I would lose another connection to the life we shared together.  It would be devastating and no one in my family would understand.  Take care of yourself, bluebird, and God grant peace to all of you here.  Thank you each for understanding and talking about your feelings.  It helps some to know I'm not alone in the way I feel.

Comment by bluebird on July 16, 2017 at 6:27pm

Well the vet did come and put Benny (our cat) to sleep on July 10th.  It's sad, I'm sad, because I miss him and love him for himself, and also because he is a link to my husband, but it went as well as it could.  When the vet got here I asked her to please have a look at him to determine if this was really the right thing to do; she did, and she said she believed it was. He had lost more weight (about another 2 pounds in 2 weeks, and he only ever weight about 11 pounds at his heaviest), as he was hardly eating anything, maybe a couple of mouthfuls of food per day, and he was dehydrated (he was drinking, but not enough), and you could just see that he didn't feel well. 

So we went ahead with it. My sister was here to support me. At least I was able to hold Benny when the vet gave him the first shot, which just makes him comfortably go unconscious over the course of a few minutes, without anxiety or fear or pain.  So I just held him and hugged him, petting him and told him how much I love him and what a good boy he is, and to go to his Daddy and sister (our little girl cat Summer, who passed 8 or 10 years ago).  After a few minutes he was unconscious, then the vet gave him the other shot, but he didn't feel it, he wasn't aware (the vet said he was completely unconscious; she could have performed surgery and he wouldn't have felt anything or been aware of anything). I kept talking to him and petting him anyway, until he passed.

I'm sad about him not being here, and I love him and miss him very much, just as I do our cat Summer and of course my husband.  I can't get used to him not being here; There has been a cat in my life for the past 15 or so years, and I keep thinking "Oh, I need to feed Benny", or "Where's Benny? I want to go love on him and pet him", stuff like that.  The house is so empty and quiet and dead now.

Comment by Elynn m on July 16, 2017 at 6:15pm

I am reading everyone's thoughts today.   I am feeling lonely today.  Guess I've been busy a couple days this week, but it always hits me on the day after I've been so busy with other people.  I miss having Joe here to share my thoughts, or, to share time just sitting with his chair next to mine.   Didn't sleep well last night.

sorry to complain, but today has been very lonely.   It's Sunday, so I guess everyone is busy with their lives,...... and that's ok!    So I came to this site just to express my feelings.   Thanks for listening.

Comment by Linda Engberg on July 16, 2017 at 6:43am


Until we our together again, I got this tattoo with both our hands becoming one.

Comment by Linda Engberg on July 16, 2017 at 6:37am


I feel the same as you, hate waking up each morning without him.


Members (340)


Latest Activity

Jenni H posted a blog post

Totally tired of my life and lack of emotions.

My mother had a stroke in October of 2015. She changed over night due to the aphasia and brain damage. She was a new person, half of who she once was. I began grieving my mother in October. I turned of all emotion and detached myself during the caregiving. It was just way too hard for me to deal with her conditions and my father's emotions. My family are gifted with abilities, mine was empathy and third sight. Most may not believe in that stuff, but it is more than real to me due to years of…See More
22 hours ago
Fernanda Alonzo joined Karen's group

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Fernanda Alonzo updated their profile
Suzette Laree Arch replied to Suzette Laree Arch's discussion 4 months and I can't stop crying in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"I wish I had your strength and thoughts - I just want to stop missing him "
Jamie replied to Jamie's discussion I'm new here and going through a very hard time. in the group Multiple Losses Group
"Thank you so much. I've been journaling but I hadn't thought about writing things I want to tell them. That is a great idea. Thank you so much for your response and kind words."
Becky W replied to Jamie's discussion I'm new here and going through a very hard time. in the group Multiple Losses Group
"Jamie - I am so so sorry for your losses.  Some of my multiple losses have included sudden, unexpected deaths too & they can be the most difficult ones sometimes.  I found journaling to be of comfort.  I was able to write my…"
Jamie posted photos
Jamie added a discussion to the group Multiple Losses Group

I'm new here and going through a very hard time.

Hello everyone. I'm new to this site.I lost my grandfather in June of 2017. A few weeks later, my grandmother passed away. My grandmother and I were very close. She was more of a mother to me than a grandmother. It was very hard on me. Only three months after the death of my grandma, on December 18th of 2017, my father passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly. I never got to say goodbye. I lost the three most important people in my life within a few short months and I am having a very hard…See More
Jamie joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group

Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
Jamie updated their profile
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Jenni H commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Lost Without My Mom
"My mom died on February 25, 2017. She had a stroke a year and half that rendered her paralyzed and she had aphasia. I was her caregiver. It was extremely impossible to stomach seeing my mother constantly in pain. My nerves and mental state was gone…"
Jenni H joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group

Lost Without My Mom

My mom died, August 17, 2009 of an apparent heart attack from heart failure. Her doctors never told me how sick she was and so I was blown away and am heart sick and lost without her.
Raven Richardson posted a blog post

I'm so hurt

I feel like my i have no support. I lost my bf and oct of 2017 and i lost my baby Nov 2017. I'm so hurt. I dont have anybody 2 talk 2. My bf family dont even check on me 2 make sure I'm ok. See More
Kyle McKay replied to Kyle McKay's discussion Lost my wife in the group Lost My Spouse...
"thank you sweetie its hard"
Darien replied to Suzette Laree Arch's discussion 4 months and I can't stop crying in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Not sure why I didn't get a notice about your post. I always try to respond promptly. As it is, I got a notification for a post I can't find, so.... In a little less than 4 months it will 2 yrs since I had my soul shredded. I'm…"
Rhonda Robinson left a comment for Michele Huddleston
"Can't imagine what your feeling ..I just lost my mother 12-1- 17..please talk to someone that can help you..maybe even a pastor..go to church. .if you don't go at least pray..pray for strength  and comfort..give yourself time to feel…"
B.Windsor posted a blog post

it's been one year

Tomorrow, it'll be one year since Shelby died. No matter how things seem at any given time, the darkness has set in.  i just can't shake it.  i've continued having physical issues going on, and haven't been able to get in to see the doctor, yet--my appointment is for Monday.  i'm tired of trying to keep going.  i still haven't even begun to work on the planning of Shelby's going away party, yet, either.  *sigh  At this point, my hope is that once i can get straightened out, or at least find out…See More
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Mine as well."
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"TTo My Husband Julian"

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