Information

Lost My Spouse...

Members: 311
Latest Activity: 1 hour ago

Discussion Forum

Moved, but nothing changes 1 Reply

I moved from the beautiful Northwest to Austin, TX to be closer to my family, but nothing seems to change. My sadness and loneliness seem to follow me wherever I go. I thought maybe a change in…Continue

Started by Maxey. Last reply by Alice Thompson 6 hours ago.

They don't understand. 2 Replies

How do you deal with well meaning family/friends who just don't understand what you're going through? 2 of my sisters-in-law still have their husbands.  One does not have a good marriage, she talks…Continue

Started by Jennifer. Last reply by Linda Engberg yesterday.

Lost without my husband 14 Replies

I'm confused with this forum. Don't know if I'm supposed to post it as a comment or add a discussion so I apologize for doing both. I'm looking for grief support. I lost my husband on April 19th…Continue

Started by Jules. Last reply by Jennifer on Wednesday.

Option B 2 Replies

Hi, just want to through this out there for anyone who has not heard of this book.Option B, it is a good book.  I have both the book and CD.  There is also a website.  Continue

Started by KIM Montgomery. Last reply by Linda Engberg on Tuesday.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Lost My Spouse... to add comments!

Comment by Jackie cooke on May 19, 2017 at 2:37am
I know Jerry, there just doesn't seem any point in getting up and carrying on. What's the point of anything, I was cleaning house yesterday, then thought why am I bothering, there's no one to see or care what the house looks like.my stomach is constantly churning at the thought of living like this, iv so much worry and things to sort but can't do anything. I think about you a lot Jerry as I know we lost our loves about the same time, I just want the pain to go x
Comment by Jerry on May 18, 2017 at 6:38pm
I haven't been on here lately, today I was at work and just lost all my self control and left for the day. I don't know why, no special date for me, my day just went to shit. I guess I'm just so lost and upset that I can't figure out how to proceed in my future without my true better half. I walked 7-8 miles in the sun at my favorite nature preserve talking and crying out loud. I don't know how to get my altered life going forward. Just, lost as all to hell, even if they were to find a reason for my soulmates cause of death wouldn't matter,it's just the fact I don't have her to go on my life happily ever after.
Comment by Jackie cooke on April 29, 2017 at 2:36pm
Jerry that is horrendous, how can that have happened, have you only just found this out. How could a disease she didn't have kill her. It's horrible. Thinking of you x
Comment by Jerry on April 29, 2017 at 7:06am
So, I am having to learn all about SUDEP, Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy. 13 Saturday's ago today, my beautiful, healthy, adoring, wife has apparently died from this mysterious condition, that is even more mysterious when you don't have Epilepsy. So now instead of consuming my waking moments in sorrow shock grief. I now research everything I can find on this ruthless oddity I now live with. Anyone else here with this experience?
Comment by Trina Mamoon on April 27, 2017 at 4:28pm

Beautifully put, Kevin: "so I can run to my beautiful wife and we can renew our vows in eternity." The day will come, my friend. Hang in there!

Comment by Kevin Bailey on April 27, 2017 at 8:34am
It is sad Trina but it is our truth. When my wife was here I'd dream about the good times that we would have when the kids finally cleared out. How I could really turn all the attention to her and spoil her, take her out and have date nights, you see we couldn't do those things raising four kids. Now that she's gone, it's hopeless, I mean I really love my kids but they have their own lives and I don't want them suffering with me. I'm just counting down my time here in this new prison. Waiting to be released so I can run to my beautiful wife and we can renew our vows in eternity.
Comment by Trina Mamoon on April 27, 2017 at 2:51am

I just read the recent posts and wanted to say how only this evening I was thanking the universe that we humans are mortal. Whether it takes another 30 years (and like Jackie the thought of another 30 years terrifies me and saddens me beyond words) or one more year, eventually we will all die. Death is a certainty, it's not an "if," but a "when" question. As Crystal said, we are going to see them again. This knowledge and faith that I will be reunited with my Joseph sooner or later gives me the strength to make it through one more day. On days that it gets really bad--and it happens several times a week--I comfort myself with the thought that as unlikely as it may be, it is not impossible that I will die in one year from today. I don't think I should be so lucky, but there is absolutely no guarantee that I will not die in the next year or two. Isn't it sad how bereaved people like us find courage and strength in the thought that some day our time will come, we will be released from this existence that is sheer torture and agony?

Sending good thoughts to everyone here. Peace.

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 27, 2017 at 2:10am
Your so right, a charade describes it exactly, just pretending all the time. I to have been left with not knowing how to do the bills, there is no money anyway now, I never did any of the finance stuff and the suddenness of her death meant there was no preparation. Sometimes I fell like just walking away from it all, just walking and wAlking
Comment by morgan on April 26, 2017 at 11:08pm

Digging deeper in my hole again........of course I'm not sure I mean, again......it seems like i think I emerge but then there I am again........digging furiously so I can escape. 

This is the hardest, most painful, most misunderstood existential life crisis I have ever tried to manage.  I am constantly questioning why?  Where?  How can this be?  

I am not finding answers and it just keeps dragging me through the abyss.  I get a few hours of distraction. Almost like being high on work.  And then something will make me remember how things were.  And then I get angry because I find that all this busyness is so senseless.  

How long can a person (like me) who cannot manage their grief consistently (enough to think that they want and can live a reasonable life).......exactly how long do we last given the stress of what this is doing to my body.  How long will I have to keep up this charade because that's all this is.......a charade....

Comment by Kevin Bailey on April 26, 2017 at 10:42pm
I was in denial even when they was talking about hospice. I was thinking she's not going anywhere, we're in recovery mood but I do need a nurse to help me with some things. Cancer is a wicked disease and it took my beautiful wife through so much pain and misery until her small body couldn't take anymore. I do find comfort in knowing that she's no longer suffering here on earth. I accepted the fact that this pain is a part of me but I do also find comfort in knowing that we'll be together again. I do see her sometimes in my dreams but in my dreams I don't realize that she's gone and I'm acting normal. There was visions as I call them and in my visions I do realize that she's gone and I'm hugging and kissing her and telling her how much I love her and I'll wake up crying afterwards. That only happened like twice. I wish so bad to have another vision but had nothing for awhile.
 

Members (311)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Ronnie Luethy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It has been 3 months for me now, and I still say 'we'. Every once in awhile I realize as I say it, and I've tried to say 'I' a few times. But I've starting to realize that it still is 'we' not just…"
1 hour ago
Beth Swansboro and Mary Ann Troxell are now friends
4 hours ago
Jennifer commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have a quick question for you all.  I was talking to a friend the other day and I said "we" she said, "Don't you mean I?"  It made me realize I use we and us a lot still.  I know it has only been a…"
4 hours ago
Jennifer commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Alice.  I have been feeling more and more and more anger towards just about everyone I know.  I am angry they are happy, angry they have future plans they are looking forward to, angry they want to include me in those plans.…"
4 hours ago
Alice Thompson replied to Maxey's discussion Moved, but nothing changes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Maxey, I actually do believe my love is still with me, and I have this life with him nobody could understand. I've started bringing this up in conversation with people a couple of times, but soon stopped when I heard the sound of what I was…"
6 hours ago
Maxey left a comment for Jon-Paul Ackerman
"I think John has said everything I am feeling each day. I sometimes think during the day of how many of us are out there suffering through this pain. It has been almost two years for me, so, I guess, after three there is still no relief or hope in…"
8 hours ago
Demetrius and Brenda Ann are now friends
8 hours ago
Maxey added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
Thumbnail

Moved, but nothing changes

I moved from the beautiful Northwest to Austin, TX to be closer to my family, but nothing seems to change. My sadness and loneliness seem to follow me wherever I go. I thought maybe a change in scenery would give me a new perspective, but, so far, nothing.It will be two years in October that I lost my husband of 55 years, and I miss him MORE today than ever. I think I am becoming obsessive since I talk to him all the time and fantasize that he is still here. I make believe we are going to take…See More
8 hours ago
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Good morning everyone and good morning Mama!  I have alot to get accomplished today so that I can bring things home from Mamas home. As always I love you Mama!"
13 hours ago
Profile IconDAWN WALTON, Julie Owen, Lori Szymanski and 26 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
14 hours ago
Suzette Laree Arch added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

4 months and I can't stop crying

I knew my Best Friend since high school...we were good friends..And stayed in touch over the years - We may have gone 3-4 years before we spoke - But we knew each others situations and we stayed Best Friends - Giving each other advice - I just wanted to make sure he was home to his wife and child - As he served 8 tours in Afghanistan, Iraq and undisclosed locations - We both are parents..We reconnected face to face 2 years ago, both in bad marriages and unhappy...I was about half way through my…See More
16 hours ago
Suzette Laree Arch joined Cathy Richardson's group
Thumbnail

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
16 hours ago
Tori commented on Laura Rozier's group Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
"I lost my best friend 6/17/16 to a heroin overdose. I've noticed for me that the happiest times are the hardest. The milestones where you find yourself able to smile and laugh again are usually the most painful. The happier the occasion or the…"
16 hours ago
Tori joined Laura Rozier's group
Thumbnail

Losing Someone to Drug Overdose

If you've lost someone you loved due to them overdosing on drugs, let's talk about it here.See More
16 hours ago
Tori posted a photo
16 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Janie that sounds good, "I love  you mom"!!!!  "
17 hours ago
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hope everybody has a loving good weekend and let's celebrate our Mom's for giving us life. I love you Mama!!"
yesterday
Linda Engberg replied to Jennifer's discussion They don't understand. in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Jennifer, It has been 4 years since I lost my Husband and soulmate to cancer. My family and friends tell me that time will things better. To tell you the truth the only way I keep my sanity, is adopting a dog and seeing my therapist and…"
yesterday
KIM Montgomery replied to Jennifer's discussion They don't understand. in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Jennifer, my husband passed May 2, 2017.  We had a wonderful marriage and we loved each other with all of our hearts.  Jack was an awesome person.  I am currently going through this with my own family.  I am away from my family…"
yesterday
KIM Montgomery commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello, well I made it through my 1st anniversary without him.  It was a really hard day, Wednesday.  I miss him like crazy and love him so much. Today I just feel numb.  All these stages of grief are exhausting.  Working full…"
yesterday

© 2017   Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service