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Lost My Spouse...

Members: 364
Latest Activity: Jul 7

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Lisa Carlson on January 24, 2017 at 10:53pm
Does anyone suffer from panick attacks while shopping in store we used to visit together? It is happening more frequently. I am terrified to go into Albertsons now.
Comment by stewart p on January 23, 2017 at 8:11pm

Bluebird, I agree and maybe Ill have to try the friend route more again, its just regardless of whether its with friends, a date a job, a coworker, relatives i find myself generally choosing to stay at home alone, even over the holidays.  I cant explain it other than that's what Ive been doing, but I will keep trying and try it again, see if  i go out with some friends sailing or something if perhaps maybe one of these days it doesn't finally kick start me or something.  Good reminder though, thanks

Comment by bluebird on January 23, 2017 at 6:14pm

stewart,

Do you think it might be helpful to you to just try to make some friends, rather than trying to date? There would be much less pressure involved.

Comment by stewart p on January 23, 2017 at 9:40am

Michael & John,  you guys both describe almost to a tee where and how i find myself feeling most days.  And john, double tough man im sorry for your pain, I watched the parameds do cpr, cant imagine if it had been me how that what feel as bad as i am today now. Im counting down to a big 4 years, and while ive "adjusted" or learned to "cope" I continually find it exceedingly difficult to put 2 or 3 days of consistent positive action together and move forward without asking myself 'whats the point', and frankly really not giving all that much of a damn whether i do something or not, from fixing the leaking roof to going to work to paying the water bill, or whatever. In fact most of those things are just an annoyance now any longer it seems and ive even thought of selling everything and just living in my car or somewhere real simple.  Ive gone out and joined networks, met nice women, applied for several jobs and around the 1st or 2nd day/date i just quit, leave, throw in the towel, flake out.  Im better about it now because i use to just avoid them, now i tell them im sorry and this is why and thanks for their time but i feel ike im broken and i keep trying but when its time for the rubber to meet the road i still find myself bowing out preferring to be all alone in a quiet space.   They are all nice people, I would of been grateful once upon a time to make their acquaintance, but now it always comes back to how i just want to be home alone in a dark corner of the house and just not do anything.

Comment by Linda Engberg on January 22, 2017 at 7:10am

Hi Jay,

Welcome to our group, we are not here to judge we are here to help one another.

Gob Bless, Linda

Comment by Jay Zimmermann on January 21, 2017 at 7:05pm

Thank you for responding.  Love is love no matter the shade of the rainbow.  I do hope to be able to get some help here.  What I have read in some of the articles and such has been great.  Thank you for your support.

Comment by John T. on January 21, 2017 at 6:23pm

I think bluebird is right.  I seem to remember a couple of people who lost same-sex soulmates posting here within the last year or so ago.  You may find, Jay,  the feelings expressed here by those who lost their spouse are much the same as your own.  I hope this group can be of some help.

Comment by bluebird on January 21, 2017 at 6:11pm

Jay,

I think there have been one or two people here who have lost a same-sex partner....not anyone that I've seen post regularly, though. 

Regardless -- same sex or opposite sex, it's all the same love and then the same pain when they die.  I'm truly sorry you are in this horrible situation too.

Comment by Michael on January 21, 2017 at 5:13pm
Jay
I haven't seen any posts from same-sex partners but im sure the feelings are the same. Everybody in this miserable boat is the sane.
Comment by Jay Zimmermann on January 21, 2017 at 4:14pm

Has anyone in this forum lost a same sex partner?  I lost my husband of a year and a half after we had been together over 31 years.  I am still in shock.  He passed away suddenly in October of 2016.  I was the one who found him at home, after I had been out shopping.

 

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Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
4 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
6 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
11 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
14 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
yesterday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
yesterday
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is still numbing to think my Mom is gone & I can't talk to her or see her again.  I lost part of me when she passed.  Someone said the restless feelings I have are really anxiety.  Daily crying is part of my life. …"
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would rather cry on the outside than on the inside. Crying on the outside is a release. I am really tired of being sad. I'm also tired of being scared. Life without my mom still seems like a scary proposition. All we can do is to continue to…"
Monday
Profile IconGeorge Makhniashvili and Amatullah joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday

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