Lost My Spouse...

Members: 364
Latest Activity: Jul 7

Discussion Forum

The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Elynn m on November 22, 2016 at 7:46pm

It's been 14 months now since I lost my husband.   I'm afraid that depression is setting in with the upcoming holidays.   I miss the winter, because it does not snow ivery often. Thinking about moving, but don't know if that's a good idea.  The thought of making new friends  (don't really have friends here) and new neighbors is intimidating.   Has anyone else been through this?

Comment by Michael on November 22, 2016 at 3:11pm
Stewart and Jimbo
Your stories are mine. Exactly. Id like a new life, but am paralyzed with grief, fear, you name it. Ive tried it all - therapy, grief boards, books, nothing helps. Please stay in touch. We are all in the same boat and need each other.
Comment by Linda Engberg on November 22, 2016 at 1:39pm

It has been 3 1/2 years since I loss my Husband and I see no future but to join him which I hope will be soon.

Comment by stewart p on November 22, 2016 at 1:06pm

Comment by stewart p 6 minutes ago
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Its been 3 1/2 years now since my wife died. Ive read alot, wrote a lot and reflected on it to no end and while I can see a way forward I just cant to seem to go forward. Anyone on here who has seen some of my prior posts knows I have put a lot of thought into piecing together a life again. Ive written countless journals, plans, ideas, little flow charts with arrows pointing in all directions. Yes, here is my new life, steps I need to take, things to do and move forward. Perhaps a new job, a new home, maybe a new community, hobbies, activities, many talked through with professional help, new friends and new adventures, even a relationship, a new marriage, a new chance to do it again. Yes I have most of it figured out, planned out and mapped out, step by step as the Chinese proverb says a 1000 mile journey begins with each first step. Well thought out and logically planned in detail but then with each day I wake up alongside all my best laid plans with no interest or desire to peruse nearly any of them. I even reached the point where I accept she is gone, I dont cry about it much anymore or get angry, Im just numb about it and accept it most of the time. Looking at all my plans I can even see a life again but then each day I seem to lack one thing, the desire to care. The zeal for which life once held for me. So now I'm wondering if maybe when you experience something like there isn't something that switches in your brain, some sort of disorder or something. On the face of it it just doesn't make sense but there is no denying something just doesn't work any more like it once it did. Im really struggling with this, maybe its an excuse to not try anymore and avoid some hidden pain or something, IDK, I just dont get it. I even gone through many of the steps, Ive gone to counseling, picked up new hobbies, exercised, got a dog, treat myself, etc but it just doenst really frickin matter or seem to much anymore. The zeal if there ever was any for living seems to have all gone away. Then I hear others (not here) talking about their ambitions, all the things they are going to see, do etc and I think to myself so what? When your dead and it could happen at any moment will any of it matter other than to those left behind? IDK, this has really got me stymied and stuck and I'm just curious if anyone else feels the same or maybe my brain and not just my heart that is broken. What a discouraging and lackluster way to live anymore. I certainly hope it gets better somehow. Maybe I take a lesson from the squirrel outside this morning little guy with a big bushy tail scurrying around outside chomping on seeds in the cold with no idea how big and bad the world around him might be and how vulnerable he his in it, or maybe he does know and just accepts it as it is, something that perhaps is eluding me so far up to now. Or maybe my brain is just f%#cked up from all this and thats it and there is no back to normal

Comment by Michael on November 17, 2016 at 9:57am
I feel very much the same as many people on here. But its only been a month since I lost my wonderful wife. Ive got to think there will be some improvement in time. Where are these people? Maybe they have moved on and don't need the site? What do people think?
Comment by Trina Mamoon on November 16, 2016 at 4:15am

Tildyc and Morgan and Bluebird and All,

How sorry I am that we are living this horrible dream called life!

I know exactly what you mean Tildyc by saying you'll never be OK. Neither will I. Time can pass, years can pass, but this pain will not stop. I will never stop missing Joseph and wishing that I were with him. Everyday, several times a day, I have to talk to myself reminding myself why I can't "just check out," why I can't end this all. The day I breathe my last, I'll be so happy! I just want to be with Joseph!

Comment by Tildyc on November 15, 2016 at 9:58pm
I'll never be OK. It will never get better. Another fucking holiday season coming. I miss you so much babe. I cannot stop this pain. Where did you go???????
Comment by morgan on November 15, 2016 at 12:23pm

To the newest people who have just joined our very sad community of spirits I just want to say you have found a place where you will not feel alone.  This site has been a lifeline for me for many years. Our grief needs to be shared and here we are safe. My heart feels your pain as you do mine. May each of you find some peace.

Comment by Michael on November 15, 2016 at 9:40am
I have 2 homes in 2 cities far from each other. One was in Georgia where my wife lived all the time. The other in mass. i would go to on my own (she did live there 10 years ago with me) once a month. When she died, i left the georgia house and never went back. Have to go through probate etc to sell it. I cant live there again.
Comment by Irwin on November 13, 2016 at 9:30pm
For those that went through watching your love one being destroyed by Cancer, a good book is "When Breath Becomes Air" by Paul Kalanithi

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Latest Activity

Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
4 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
6 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
12 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
14 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is still numbing to think my Mom is gone & I can't talk to her or see her again.  I lost part of me when she passed.  Someone said the restless feelings I have are really anxiety.  Daily crying is part of my life. …"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would rather cry on the outside than on the inside. Crying on the outside is a release. I am really tired of being sad. I'm also tired of being scared. Life without my mom still seems like a scary proposition. All we can do is to continue to…"
Profile IconGeorge Makhniashvili and Amatullah joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community

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