I moved from the beautiful Northwest to Austin, TX to be closer to my family, but nothing seems to change. My sadness and loneliness seem to follow me wherever I go. I thought maybe a change in scenery would give me a new perspective, but, so far, nothing.
It will be two years in October that I lost my husband of 55 years, and I miss him MORE today than ever. I think I am becoming obsessive since I talk to him all the time and fantasize that he is still here. I make believe we are going to take a trip or take a walk. I believe my behavior is becoming a bit strange since I cannot move on. What will happen if I continue to live this way? I fear I will start being some delusional old woman.
I listen to music and dream we are dancing; I can almost feel his kiss, his touch, his love.
I pray this suffering has an end point since I am so ready to leave this earth.

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Replies to This Discussion

Hi Maxey, I actually do believe my love is still with me, and I have this life with him nobody could understand. I've started bringing this up in conversation with people a couple of times, but soon stopped when I heard the sound of what I was saying. Yes, it sounds delusional. And yet I am not delusional, because I function perfectly well in all practical ways. There is much more to this universe than meets the eye.

You are lucky that you spent 55 years, but I had only 3years and the pain is getting worse day by day. Moving from one place to another does not help because you can not remove that person from your heart. 

Same feeling I am having which you mentioned above and I think I am also becoming obsessive.

Please help me if you find any.

Hello Maxey,

I like to say I am so sorry for you loss since I lost my domestic  partner  of 30 years this past July, and I totally understand what your going through sometimes I feel that I am going to lose my mind, I am scared of the thought of going alone in this world with her. I am totally lost in my life without her. But I am  trying to move  on because she told me she wanted me too, because you see when she passed away this past July I was going to school and I still am to get my degree. and she told before she passed that I better  finish . Let me tell you  It  been really tough.  Maxey  upon reading your post you are correct about maybe a littlie obsessive that is not good my friend, there is nothing wrong with thinking of him and fantasizing just don't take it to the next level ok. May I give a littile friendly advice go out and meet people your own age or check out online social websites or do something you always wanted to do when you where younger now don't do nothing crazy ok. All I can offer you is my friendship support because I totally understand and feel what your going through. Be strong my friend and god be with you.

Helen Maez

                  

Hi Maxey:

I thought I was alone with this. I walk around everyday and do things as if he is watching me do it. I was wondering if I was the only one? I am not sure if he is with me really but it feels like he is? Yet sometimes I feel so alone? Is he gone hen I feel this way? Am I going crazy?
Yep I agree with you linda I can't wait to be with my husband the faster the time the better

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