I moved from the beautiful Northwest to Austin, TX to be closer to my family, but nothing seems to change. My sadness and loneliness seem to follow me wherever I go. I thought maybe a change in scenery would give me a new perspective, but, so far, nothing.
It will be two years in October that I lost my husband of 55 years, and I miss him MORE today than ever. I think I am becoming obsessive since I talk to him all the time and fantasize that he is still here. I make believe we are going to take a trip or take a walk. I believe my behavior is becoming a bit strange since I cannot move on. What will happen if I continue to live this way? I fear I will start being some delusional old woman.
I listen to music and dream we are dancing; I can almost feel his kiss, his touch, his love.
I pray this suffering has an end point since I am so ready to leave this earth.

Views: 140

Replies to This Discussion

Hi Maxey, I actually do believe my love is still with me, and I have this life with him nobody could understand. I've started bringing this up in conversation with people a couple of times, but soon stopped when I heard the sound of what I was saying. Yes, it sounds delusional. And yet I am not delusional, because I function perfectly well in all practical ways. There is much more to this universe than meets the eye.

You are lucky that you spent 55 years, but I had only 3years and the pain is getting worse day by day. Moving from one place to another does not help because you can not remove that person from your heart. 

Same feeling I am having which you mentioned above and I think I am also becoming obsessive.

Please help me if you find any.

Hello Maxey,

I like to say I am so sorry for you loss since I lost my domestic  partner  of 30 years this past July, and I totally understand what your going through sometimes I feel that I am going to lose my mind, I am scared of the thought of going alone in this world with her. I am totally lost in my life without her. But I am  trying to move  on because she told me she wanted me too, because you see when she passed away this past July I was going to school and I still am to get my degree. and she told before she passed that I better  finish . Let me tell you  It  been really tough.  Maxey  upon reading your post you are correct about maybe a littlie obsessive that is not good my friend, there is nothing wrong with thinking of him and fantasizing just don't take it to the next level ok. May I give a littile friendly advice go out and meet people your own age or check out online social websites or do something you always wanted to do when you where younger now don't do nothing crazy ok. All I can offer you is my friendship support because I totally understand and feel what your going through. Be strong my friend and god be with you.

Helen Maez

                  

Hi Maxey:

I thought I was alone with this. I walk around everyday and do things as if he is watching me do it. I was wondering if I was the only one? I am not sure if he is with me really but it feels like he is? Yet sometimes I feel so alone? Is he gone hen I feel this way? Am I going crazy?
Yep I agree with you linda I can't wait to be with my husband the faster the time the better

RSS

Latest Activity

BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have been very focused on work and have not checked in lately. But you all have been in my prayers every day.  Warm, comforting hugs to all, Blue"
1 hour ago
Marjorie Willcox commented on Alice Thompson's blog post My life has become a scary nightmare again
"I don't quite know what I,m doing here but I want to reply to Alice & Morgan who both replied to me having just joined this forum. I reacted to the death of my husband by having a breakdown and was hospitalised for 2 months. I am still on a…"
7 hours ago
Bruce Armstrong commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Rose-Lost my wife after 54 years one day at a time and it's ok to cry try to talk to friends tell the same story to them how you feel they do not know learn to say no to things -small things will overwhelm you and you will forget things after 7…"
23 hours ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Rose. 8 months for me.  We would have been married 44 years last month.   Weekends are the worst for me as I'm still working and keep busy during the week.   I'm very hollow."
yesterday
Rose C Gianopoulos commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Good evening,  This is my first time in the group.  I lost my husband 3 months ago today.  Each and every Saturday brings me back to the greatest pain I have ever felt.  It has not gotten any better.   We were married…"
yesterday
Profile IconRose C Gianopoulos, Gardenlady and Diane Burningham joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
yesterday
Rose C Gianopoulos shared Jon-Paul Ackerman's group on Facebook
yesterday
JenShep left a comment for TimB
"Hi Tim, Thanks so much for your note. I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to write back to you sooner. I wonder how you are doing? Only a month since you lost your wife... I remember a numbness that…"
yesterday
Profile IconDione Larkin, Linda, Crystal and 9 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Marjorie Willcox posted a status
"please will so someone reply"
yesterday
Marjorie Willcox posted a status
"I really can't live without my husband"
yesterday
Jean commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hello everyone. Today was bittersweet. I went to visit a dear friend at the hospital where my mother passed almost five years ago(Feb 8th). My mother wrote a short 2 page note of thanks and love to all of the doctors and nurses and staff at the…"
Saturday
Jennifer commented on Jarvis's group I love my Dad.
"Thank you Gilda and JO B.  I really appreciate your kindness and support. I know without any doubt that my Dad is with me just has he always has been.  much love ~"
Friday
Marjorie Willcox posted a status
"It's not just the death of the love of my life it's the death of jthe future growing old together"
Friday
Marjorie Willcox commented on Marjorie Willcox's blog post Loss of my husband
"Thankyou Karen for responding to my pain and sharing how you feel. It really is hell on earth."
Friday
Karen commented on Marjorie Willcox's blog post Loss of my husband
"I feel your pain. It has been only 7 months for me but some days I think it gets worse instead of better. The loneliness is overwhelming when they were such a big part of our world. "
Friday
Sue updated their profile
Friday
Sue joined Jarvis's group
Thumbnail

I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
Friday
Marjorie Willcox commented on Marjorie Willcox's blog post Loss of my husband
"Thankyou Alice for responding to my pain. I'm new to this site so not sure how it all works. I feel sure I'll never get over this loss but I'm comforted by getting a reply from you & Morgan Thankyou. It must be awful feeling the…"
Thursday
Alice Thompson left a comment for morgan
"My dear Morgan, I am thinking of you as you go through this dark tunnel reliving the end. I did that myself recently, as you know, and it is indescribable. Baby steps, as you say. That’s all we can do. With my love, Alice "
Thursday

© 2018   Created by Jarvis.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service