"Good luck, Pamela :-) It is so hard to live among others when your inner life is so different from theirs. I think that after the first year I gave up expecting anyone to understand what is really going on for me. Sometimes I tell them anyway, but…"
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lost my spouse
Haven't been here for awhile. September will be 2 years since I lost Joe. The grief continues. I still sign both of our names on birthday cards and Christmas cards. Not ready to let him go yet. Only one of his best friends continues to call. Upsets me a little, but I have been guilty of the same. When I call other friends(close friends of both of us), I usually hear, "I didnt know what to say to you!"........... Try 'how are you' is what I think, but don't say!
I'm thankful that his family(and mine) are so supportive. It's just different coming from friends.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Maxey on -
Elynn,
When I read that you have survived two years and still yearn for your husband, I wonder how I will ever make it since it has only been 18 months for me, and I am in such bad shape. If only we could be given a timetable on how much longer this feeling of loneliness and sadness must go on. If I could know that one day in the future (soon) that I would be reunited with my husband, then, maybe, I could go on with some semblance of a life.
Friends do not want to acknowledge this grief since it brings it too close to home to them. If they think about it, then they would have to realize that it could happen to them - denial is best. We remind them of what could happen, and it is not good. I think they think, "why spoil my happiness talking about this." So they avoid us! Sad, but that is the human condition.
If they ask, "how are you?", they expect you to say, "oh, I'm going okay." They do not want to hear your "real" feelings.
I am so sorry that we are all in such a sad state; I pray everyday for some comfort and peace - I wish you the same. -
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Permalink Reply by Elynn m on
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Maxey, you are so right about other people. I don't think we will ever get over the death of our spouse,....sad to say, but true. After 41 years of marriage, it will take me that long to get over it! All I can do with other people is to remind them to tell each other that they are loved. You can never say "I love you" too much.
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