I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him and my kids asking or saying daddy when they hear the doorbell kills me but i have to make it every day for them they keep me breathing. I know the pain never goes away but does it ever get easier to deal with? 

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Im so sorry for the pain and suffering you and your family must be going though.

its absolutely fantastic that your doing as well as you are for your children

every one will have different triggers for the painful memories and emotions that you will be currently dealing with.

i remember a post online somewhere that said "grief is like standing in the water at the beach and the emotions and pain are like waves crashing around you.  over time the force and frequency reduces"

Its been 9 months since my love passed.

for me this is true in some respects, but i still get frequent big waves of emotions and sadness.

I am for my children, getting up every day and forcing my way though life, and  trying to be the best dad that i can for my children.

i have made a resolve to try and have fun with and for them, although some times i still smile and laugh superficial.

i think the short answer is you get used to it and getting used to it lessens the pain.

i still have weepy moments 

I'm and still exhausted all the time

life still feels like molasses 

i try to talk with my children every now and again about how i feel and how they feel relating to mummy not being here any more.

also see if you can find someone who can listed to you, talk, cry and generally be there for you.

it helped me a lot 

my children have been my saving grace, they have force me to pick up my socks and keep on keeping on.

so in short 

my experiences is that it dose get better little by little.

all the best wishes to you and your family

Regards Monty

I'm  so sorry for your great loss.   It has been three years for me. The first year was worse.    The only way it gets easier is when we start remembering the good times.   The pain will get softer, but will always be there.   My children are grown and married. I don't have little ones at home, so I don't have to go through the pain of seeing my children suffer without their daddy every day, in the way that you do. I can't even imagine how hurtful that would be.   Cry when you need to, and talk to a good friend when you need to.   You are welcome to come to this site at any time to express your feelings.   It has really helped me, because, in my case, I didn't have a lot of people to talk to who understood what I was going through.  (It's not their fault....they just don't know what to say...can't relate.)

Thank you so much I would like to be able to Express myself and talk to somone who can relate thank you for your reply. 

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Hi everyone, I am new to the group, but not to loss. Thanks for adding me.I wanted to share an essay I wrote, "Welcome to the Freak Show: Becoming an Orphan in My 20s", that is in the New York Times today. Even though all of our experiences with grief are unique, I hope it resonates in some way.Best, KelliSee More
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