Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

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Latest Activity: Aug 23

Discussion Forum

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

Still lost and broken 2 Replies

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Pamela philipp Jan 5, 2018.

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Comment by Jeanne Potter on May 31, 2012 at 8:08pm

Maura, for me it has been 1 year, 5 months and 9 days since I lost Harry. It is sometimes ok and then a wave comes over you. A song on the radio, a place you used to go together and it all comes back. The tears start and then a little peace comes over me. I come back to reality and remember that it is what it is and I just have to go on somehow, but never like it was before. I know he is good where he is, but for all of us it is not so easy. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing he is not suffering anymore and that one day we will meet again.

Comment by Maura Simms on May 31, 2012 at 7:37pm

xo Anna; blessings to you and your family too!

Comment by anna l. on May 31, 2012 at 7:31pm

It will be a year for me July 1st and honestly it is just in the past couple of weeks that I have had some real changes happening in my grief.  It will never be better.  Better was and will always be what I had when my husband was alive and our children were all healthy and happy.  But it is feeling calmer and more manageable and that is better in a sense.  Hugs Maura.

Comment by Maura Simms on May 31, 2012 at 7:26pm

Its been a year, when does it get better? 

Comment by Debra Wick on May 31, 2012 at 7:26pm
Anna, same here. I was worse in the 2nd and 3rd months than in the 1st month. I read it was because the shock and numbness has worn off and now the healing could begin. I couldn't imagine. Now it has been almost 6 months and I am healing, slowly. Hugs-
Comment by anna l. on May 31, 2012 at 7:08pm

Kim, hugs to you.  It has been a really short time since you lost your friend.  I can tell you I was worse the second month and third month after my husband died than I was right after.  It was as if my mind just couldnt handle all the pain and shut down.  I refer to it as being on auto pilot.  I think it was part shock as well.  When I started coming out of that state of shock it was horrid!!  I think you might be experiencing something similiar.  It will get somewhat better as time goes on. 

Comment by Kim Phillips on May 31, 2012 at 12:10pm

I thought as time passed the days would get easier but it is only getting harder.  Each day I find my self crying more and isolating myself more.  Where ever I go it reminds me of her.  Whatever I do reminds me of her. I talk to her and answer myself in my head thinking it is her.  The pain at times is overbearing.  I lost the other half of myself.  I don't know who I am now.  I am so sorry to all those who have lost a loved one.  I understand what everyone is feeling.  Blessings and love. 

Comment by Debra Wick on May 31, 2012 at 10:45am
Yes Mary, we HAVE to believe it will get better! I bagged up Bob's clothes today. It was the most pain I have felt since his passing, absolutely heart-wrenching. My dogs sat and stared at me while I sobbed, like they had done something wrong. It is over now, but I have to admit it caused a setback. Was listening to some sad music, then suddenly "felt" Bob and blasted out Alice Cooper's No More Mr. Nice Guy. What-tha?! Oh well, he would laugh at that. Hang in there! Xox
Comment by Mary M. on May 31, 2012 at 10:23am

Wow.  Seems like all our loved ones were more concerned about those of us left behind than they were about dying.  I know my husband held on longer than he should have because he was worried about me being left alone.   He was the one that always saw the bright spot in every situation.  So while I know he would want me to go on with my life I just can't seem to.   Its only been a few months and hopefully this will get easier.  My aunt and I talked yesterday and she lost her husband in August last year .. and kept telling me it does get easier to move on.  Clinging to that right now.

Comment by Debra Wick on May 30, 2012 at 10:27pm
Karen, your story saddens me so. Mine is similar. I lost my precious Bob, at age 63, to liver cancer on December 22, 2011. He had his first ER visit on August 12 and was diagnosed September 30. Fortunately no one led us to believe he would survive. His biggest fear throughout the whole nightmare was how I was going to survive without him. And here I am, five months alone. I miss him so much and I feel like my life is just going through the motions. Glad you are here, we can get through this together. We just need to keep doing as we know they would want us to. Hugs <3
 

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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, I understand what you mean.  There will never be anymore of what we did together, IT IS FINISHED."
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Strike those vacations below, they'll never be another one.  Went on a memorial cruise with my daughter and family four months after she passed because she was so looking forward to it.  It hurt enough to know they'll be no more."
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yes Elynn, the loneliness.  That's painful.  They're not here and always was.  Our best friend, lover, and most precious thing we had.  We were lucky enough to spend the last 8 1/2 years together, joined at the…"
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Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I've had a rough few weeks.   August 31st would have been our 45th wedding anniversary.   September 27 was year 4 of my husband's passing.   It's pretty lonely around here.  Its difficult to talk…"
Oct 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Every day for me is the same day she passed.  Not a joyful or even an ok moment.  I spend a little time with the children and grands and do my best to hide my emotions, but they all know how I am inside, even the youngest grand at age 4…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, I feel the same as you. My sweet dog Babie J is nearing the Rainbow Bridge. I wanted stay on this earth for her. Once she passes I will do nothing to save my own soul.  "
Oct 8
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't know if we can rethink our emotions that way. Our emotions are what they are, although reason can help us form our emotions and hopefully change them for the better. I don't know if my mom can hear me or not. I certainly…"
Oct 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"How are you all doing?  I had bad last 2 days. Felt lot of guilt and cried. There were some moments which made me remember my mother.  Also I hear comforting words by a lady that people who have gone from this world can still feel your…"
Oct 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I wonder how i am managing.  Not well and to be onest today I wanted to just set a date with death. I am approaching seven years of being without him and though I function towards the outside world better and my crying has lessened but at the…"
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"What a horrible price to pay for love. "
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for loved ones who have lost someone to suicide

if you have lost someone by suicide post your thoughts here.
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Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
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Dayna commented on Kim Darichuk's status
"I am very sorry to hear about your Mom passing. I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago and just my identical twin sister last month to an overdose. My mother and I were not as close as I would have liked. The disease kept her depressed and…"
Oct 2

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