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Comment by Jan Duvenage on April 14, 2011 at 1:41am

It is now nearly one year(April 19, 2010) since my beautifull and dearest wife was taken from me by pancreatic cancer, and even though i know she is free and with no pain i wish she could be with me again, the pain of not having her with me is softening but the memories is still gut wrenching. I wish i could just one more time in person tell her just how much i love her and be by her side before the inevitable lonely journey, we all have to make,  happens. I love her so much and these last 11 months has shown me just what we had. The journey is never complete untill one day we are all re-united.

 

Comment by Kathy Saylor on April 13, 2011 at 11:00pm

Barbra, reading your experience helps me much.  At least Mel went quickly and somewhat painlessly.  I wasn't looking forward to seeing him go downhill because of the tumor.  We were told by the oncologist that this type of tumor can double itself in two weeks!  Since we were trying to get Mel's strength up for radiation, we lost 2-3 weeks and Lord knows how big that tumor got in that time.  I know I would loose him and am glad he went fast, but oh!  I miss him so!

 

Comment by Barbra Ingrassia Fairman on April 13, 2011 at 5:05pm

Kathy- I lost my brother to glioblastoma. It was a mean, cruel death for my brother, who was a good good soul. He didn't deserve it and it makes it hard to move on. My brother was told he had 6 months and he died 3 months later on March 30th,2010. My brother received the aggressive treatment after he went "misdiagnosed" for 2 months. I try and tell myself if he would have lived longer, it just would have been torture knowing he was going to die(even with the treatment). At the end Richie couldn't talk, he lost his ability to squeeze our hands for yes and no,we didn't know how to fix him, torture for me, all I know is how to fix and God gave me this unfixable situation.One dr told me that he won the lottery, the wrong lottery. I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer Sucks and I HATE CANCER. If it was in front of me I could go balistic on it and a pillow is a poor subsitute.

Comment by Kathy Saylor on April 12, 2011 at 9:22pm

I lost my unmarried husband of 22 years to glioblastoma, an agressive cancerous brain tumor that starts in the brain.  We got the diagnosis the middle of January, de-bulked the tumor Feb 4,  and was in rehab when Mel came down with pneumonia.  He wasn't able to shake it and passed March 30 without planned radiation and chemo.  I'm still reeling.

Comment by michael sandoval on April 11, 2011 at 7:33pm

Dear Denise,
I miss you. After a year and a half I still cry. A lot. As soon as I am alone I immediately think of you. I miss your smile, your eyes, your laugh, but what really miss is you. The person that loved me. The way you made me feel. You made me feel like I was your king and you were my queen. You made me laugh, you taught me about life, about loving, about living and you taught me how to face our destiny with courage and faith in the Lord. Thank you baby, I could never repay you for all you did for me, for all you showed me and taught me. I love you baby.

Comment by Judy Kemp on April 11, 2011 at 2:04pm

Hi Gina i know how hard it is to get thur this but please know that you have friends here that will always listen and try to help. I hate that word cancer it not only takes the one we love but puts the whole family is but thur the ringer over this word.

I hope your doing better today. Its hard but you can only do one day at a time and even then sometimes it seems to much to handle. I know to that family and friends try to make things easier for you sometimes that helps other times it makes them seem worst. All I can say is that if you need to talk and some one to listen I can do that for you anytime you want.

Take care Judy 

Comment by Gina M on April 10, 2011 at 5:27pm

Became alone after cancer stole my husband in February.  Would love to chat with other women in the same situation .........Is there anyone there who would like to chat or exchange communication?

Comment by Mary Elizabeth Webb on April 9, 2011 at 11:14am

Dear Cynthia and Judy,

Take one day at a time. There is not a set time frame for "it" to become easier. Take as much time as you need to become a part of the whole you once were. Death is life altering to those who are left behind. So, now life is different and we must try to adjust...peace will come..remember to grieve, but don't forget how to live.

God Bless and take care!!

 

Comment by Cynthia Horacek on April 9, 2011 at 10:33am

Judy; Thank you, and please know that you have nothing to be sorry about!  We all do what we can do; if you're not on here a lot, it's okay.  And I appreciate your comments. And you are right that it takes time; a lot of time.  We can't get over grief, we can't get under it; all we can do it is get through it.  Take care.

 

Comment by Judy Kemp on April 9, 2011 at 12:10am

Cynthia

I sorry that i havent been on here more lately. Your allowed to have meltdowns its hard trying to deal with your pain sometimes we need to meltdown so we can pick up the peices afterwards sometimes making us look at pass times to remember all the good times even some of the bad ones with out feeling some hurt over time. I know ive made such a mess of myself but i hope and like to think that iam learning to cope better than i was. It takes time iam learning that also if you every need to talk please know that iam here for you. Just remember to take care of your self. and congrads on your daugthers wedding and becomming a grandma

Judy

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