Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 632
Latest Activity: Jun 13, 2022

Discussion Forum

Lost Dad to Lung Cancer

Started by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12, 2019.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

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Comment by Nora Votsch on September 5, 2011 at 8:30pm
i lost my biological grandfather to a battle of Lung Cancer. i only knew him for about 5 to 6 years. My birth father never told my grandpa Ellis and grandma Ruby about me.

i was just getting to know him as he was getting sicker an sicker. when i met him years ago. i didn't know the extent of the cancer. but when i went to visit him  weeks before he passed it shocked me. I've seen people on their death beds before but nobody i really knew. this time it was my own flesh and blood.  i wish he was still with me and the family. he's always was wanted to be around
Comment by Natalie Westby on September 5, 2011 at 8:15pm

Hi everyone,

  I'm feeling really anxious.  I've been having problems with anxiety pretty much my whole life, but I've been able to handle it.  But, Since my mom died, its gotten a whole lot worse.  I'm on ativan, but it doesn't really help when it really gets bad.  I also, try to exercise and try to keep busy, but sometimes that doesn't help either.  My doctor wants me to take an around the clock anti anxiety medication, but I'm not anxious everyday, or even all day, its just sometimes.  Besides, I took celexia when my mom just died, and it was awful.  I ended up hospitalized twice for suicidal thoughts.  I was already suicidal, but the medication made it alot worse.  I'm terrified of psychotropic / psychoactive medications.  Will I ever feel normal again?

Comment by Kay on September 5, 2011 at 7:47pm
Cynthia , I am so glad you had a beautiful day. Thank you for sharing your happiness with us!  Katie
Comment by Cynthia Horacek on September 5, 2011 at 10:38am
I wanted to share a little bit of happiness - as hard as it is for so many of us to feel happy now, or sometimes even smile - but I have found that smiling and laughter is sometimes - often - the best medicine.  Sometimes almost as good as a good cry - they both releases endorphins!  So I posted a picture of my daughter and her new husband on the their wedding day on my page if anyone cares to take a look.  Thank you all, again and again, for just being here.  No one knows how much losing someone hurts until it happens to them.
Comment by Barbra Ingrassia Fairman on September 5, 2011 at 9:07am
Mariann- you bring me right back to those days..being so lost and so deep in grief. It has been a year and five months for me. When my brother first died I didn't want to stop hurting. I didn't want to move away from the grief. But life happens and I did move, sometimes away and sometimes right back to where I was.Hang in there, we are here for you.
Comment by Barbra Ingrassia Fairman on September 5, 2011 at 9:02am

Cynthia- glad it all turned out ok. Breathe now...you did it and you will continue to do it because you deserve it!

Comment by Cynthia Horacek on September 4, 2011 at 11:00am
Hello all.  My youngest daughter's wedding was yesterday.  They had the ceremony at my mom and dad's home, where my husband and I were also wed, and it happened that yesterday was also my mom and dad's 68th wedding anniversary.  I had stuff coming up for me, of course; this past week has been very up and down, with feelings about losing my husband and missing him, and not wanting to be down for my daughter's sake; wanting to focus on her and wanting her to have a wonderful week leading up to the wedding and a wonderful wedding.  I was able to pull it together, and she had her "girls night out" and he had his night out with his best man and another friend who both came to CA from Texas to be here for him.  The wedding was beautiful; they read their own vows, and when my son in law read his, his hands were shaking, which seemed out of character for him, but he is sooo in love with my daughter, as it should be, and she with him.  The ceremony was beautiful, and just as they started a huge  monarch butterfly flew directly over them, hovered, and then left in the same direction it came from.  There was a playful hummingbird that kept popping up from the shrubbery during the ceremony, and other smaller butterflies flying around, and they seemed to be frolicking over the bride and groom's heads; not many people noticed them but I did.  My daughter and her husband were so enraptured with each other, they didn't seem to notice, but I can't wait to see if the photographer caught any of it on film!  I took that monarch as a sign that my husband was letting me know he was here with us.  I missed my husband; he would have been so proud to know that they did get married, just as Bill (her husband) had promised him on his deathbed that he (Bill) would take care of Sarah and my husband didn't have to worry about her; she would be okay.  My older daughter came to the wedding sans husband or children, and told me she just couldn't stay; this was bringing up a lot for her about her dad and she realized she never really processed his death and losing him; she was too sad and too broken up, so I told her we understood and she should do what she needed to do.  I have to say, although we all missed Don, it was a beautiful day, and a beautiful wedding with a beautiful bride and groom.  So even in the midst of the sorrow and pain, there was some happiness to be shared with family and friends.  Thank you for being here for me, to "listen" and just being able to have this place is so helpful to me.
Comment by Cynthia Horacek on September 4, 2011 at 10:47am
Dear Marianne - I cannot imagine the depth of you loss.  Losing a child is possibly the worse loss I can imagine.  Please accept my sincere wishes for you and your family and know somewhere in your heart you will heal from this; it may not feel like it now, and it may take a very long time, but please don't give up on yourself.  You need to go through the process of grieving as much as it hurts but that is the only way to recover.  I am hugging you through this message and sending you wishes for a peaceful resolution to what is a very difficult journey.
Comment by Arielle on September 4, 2011 at 5:23am
Marianne there is a group called the Compassionate Friends. It was created by and for bereaved parents. They might have meetings near you, and you may find some comfort there.
Comment by Joseph Weston on September 3, 2011 at 11:16pm
Always look for signs that your loved one is looking down upon you. My baby showed this this week in many ways. It's made life more livable. It will be subtle, but meaningful. We cannot see beyond the veil, but they can. Be still, and know that they are with the creator, watching, and helping. Take comfort in this.
 

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