Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 608
Latest Activity: Jul 11

Discussion Forum

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

Still lost and broken 2 Replies

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Pamela philipp Jan 5, 2018.

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Comment by Michael Thompson on May 13, 2019 at 9:14am

Here in England, im deeply saddened to learn of Doris Day's death aged 97 I believe ?

My late wife and I loved her as a singer and actress.

She was the soul of human decency, with a beautiful voice that radiated goodness.

RIP Doris Day..

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 13, 2019 at 6:19am

Jo B,

It is a big decision to make. I will pray for you. Take Care.

Comment by dream moon JO B on May 12, 2019 at 5:03pm

thnx

linda

got lot on my mondd it min

do i go get big c testt dun or not to

wored in casess moms brestt c is bac agan

bit of me sayin get testt thn othr bot of me sayin evry 1 will thng im only thng of my me not otherss coz thy is mor improtin thn me 

my hedss spinnin in wot to do

Comment by Linda Engberg on April 24, 2019 at 6:19am

Hello Dream moon Jo B,

Good to see you back on the site. 

Comment by dream moon JO B on April 23, 2019 at 6:15pm

iv loss lot of pepplee iv lovd dealy to big c

iv

got to say gud by to sum 1 iv new for ovf 36 yrs to big c

im 44

im her oldeds nbor i am 

iv lovd her dealyy still do i do iv lovd dead pepelel for yrs if no 1 gets it no 1 will only on hear thy do

Comment by Linda Engberg on April 18, 2019 at 3:01pm

I feel it all depends on the relationship, no matter if man or woman.

Comment by M Adams on April 18, 2019 at 11:24am

Have heard the same thing about men and loneliness, based on the assumption that women usually have richer and more developed social networks, a wider range of relationships, etc.  Of course this isn’t true of all women, though it seems to often be the case.  My husband was the more sociable person in our household, and that encouragement to engage with the world, entertain, meet new people, was very good for me.  He sort of brought me along, I guess. Now I look at all the wine glasses, picnic baskets, even the croquet set — they reflect an outgoing, celebratory approach that was mine, was ours, but make me wonder who I am now that I am alone.  Will I do such things again?

Are you finding any successful techniques for being less anxious?  That is something I struggle with as well.  The loss of confidence you mention is definitely part of this anxiety problem...I read a bereavement memoir in which the writer talked about the shame of being bereaved, and that really resonated with me.  Maybe the shame leads to the anxiety by way of self consciousness?

Comment by Michael Thompson on April 18, 2019 at 3:28am

In my opinion as a Widower by 4 and a half years, men find dealing with being alone and loneliness harder than woman, this is what widows I meet tell me. 

I strive on a daily basis to at least be less anxious, but I miss my right arm in my wife. 

There is also a certain inner confidence that comes with marriage, its gone when your spouse dies. 

Comment by Virginia G on January 2, 2019 at 10:58am

Michael,

i love the line, “we always had a visit from the spirit, the sparkle, and the magic of Santa Claus.”

I would call my Mom Mrs. Claus.

She would make everyday like Christmas.

Comment by dream moon JO B on December 30, 2018 at 2:46pm

big c is evil

dem/alz is evil

its 1s it sea luvd 1s suffer its lk we feal it to we do

yore articl  is so sweet it is so truee 

 

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M Adams left a comment for Durga
"Dear Durga,  sorry that you’ve been brought low by the death of your mother, it is such a painful loss to bear.  There is a group here called I Miss My Mom that might be helpful to you.  My mother died nine months ago and this…"
12 hours ago
Profile IconDurga and Angela Hernandez joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
14 hours ago
Nancy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sunday
G B is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
Friday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
Jul 17
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
Jul 17
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Jul 17
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Jul 16
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Jul 16
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Jul 16
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Jul 16
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Jul 16
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Jul 16
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Jul 16
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 15
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Jul 15

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