Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 607
Latest Activity: May 13

Discussion Forum

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

Still lost and broken 2 Replies

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Pamela philipp Jan 5, 2018.

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Comment by dream moon JO B on May 13, 2019 at 3:00pm

thnx linda

its all thes in my hed

obesetyy is 1 of bigesttt 1s

yes i obesess

2 my diett is rubsishhh

big c runss in famlyy lookss lk bth sidess 

Comment by Michael Thompson on May 13, 2019 at 9:14am

Here in England, im deeply saddened to learn of Doris Day's death aged 97 I believe ?

My late wife and I loved her as a singer and actress.

She was the soul of human decency, with a beautiful voice that radiated goodness.

RIP Doris Day..

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 13, 2019 at 6:19am

Jo B,

It is a big decision to make. I will pray for you. Take Care.

Comment by dream moon JO B on May 12, 2019 at 5:03pm

thnx

linda

got lot on my mondd it min

do i go get big c testt dun or not to

wored in casess moms brestt c is bac agan

bit of me sayin get testt thn othr bot of me sayin evry 1 will thng im only thng of my me not otherss coz thy is mor improtin thn me 

my hedss spinnin in wot to do

Comment by Linda Engberg on April 24, 2019 at 6:19am

Hello Dream moon Jo B,

Good to see you back on the site. 

Comment by dream moon JO B on April 23, 2019 at 6:15pm

iv loss lot of pepplee iv lovd dealy to big c

iv

got to say gud by to sum 1 iv new for ovf 36 yrs to big c

im 44

im her oldeds nbor i am 

iv lovd her dealyy still do i do iv lovd dead pepelel for yrs if no 1 gets it no 1 will only on hear thy do

Comment by Linda Engberg on April 18, 2019 at 3:01pm

I feel it all depends on the relationship, no matter if man or woman.

Comment by M Adams on April 18, 2019 at 11:24am

Have heard the same thing about men and loneliness, based on the assumption that women usually have richer and more developed social networks, a wider range of relationships, etc.  Of course this isn’t true of all women, though it seems to often be the case.  My husband was the more sociable person in our household, and that encouragement to engage with the world, entertain, meet new people, was very good for me.  He sort of brought me along, I guess. Now I look at all the wine glasses, picnic baskets, even the croquet set — they reflect an outgoing, celebratory approach that was mine, was ours, but make me wonder who I am now that I am alone.  Will I do such things again?

Are you finding any successful techniques for being less anxious?  That is something I struggle with as well.  The loss of confidence you mention is definitely part of this anxiety problem...I read a bereavement memoir in which the writer talked about the shame of being bereaved, and that really resonated with me.  Maybe the shame leads to the anxiety by way of self consciousness?

Comment by Michael Thompson on April 18, 2019 at 3:28am

In my opinion as a Widower by 4 and a half years, men find dealing with being alone and loneliness harder than woman, this is what widows I meet tell me. 

I strive on a daily basis to at least be less anxious, but I miss my right arm in my wife. 

There is also a certain inner confidence that comes with marriage, its gone when your spouse dies. 

Comment by Virginia G on January 2, 2019 at 10:58am

Michael,

i love the line, “we always had a visit from the spirit, the sparkle, and the magic of Santa Claus.”

I would call my Mom Mrs. Claus.

She would make everyday like Christmas.

 

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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Happy Father's Day to my Husband Julian in Heaven. I miss you so much."
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"No matter how we express our thoughts, we are all in the same boat together. We just keep waiting for it to sink so we can join our loved ones."
yesterday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"M Adams, I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words.  Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello M Adams Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
Saturday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda.  My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back.  I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
Friday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired.  So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though.  I look here daily to read.…"
Friday
mindy posted a status
"Hello everyone I'm doing ok I went back to work and just had my meeting there today they said I'm doing an awesome job"
Thursday
mindy and Brenda Ann are now friends
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"They told me that Mom had a heart attack.  It happened on the weekend.  I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine.  I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone.  I just…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks so much!  It helps having others that understand.  Some of my family is supportive & that helps.  It helps just having someone listen that truly understands.  I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you. Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you, some days are better than others.  I feel so for you.  My Mom was the center of my world also.  I lived with her & took care of her.  I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"
Thursday
Patrick E Woodson posted a status
"Hello everyone. I lost my best friend two weeks ago. I'm constantly crying feeling like I can't go on."
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I never cried much before, but I do now.  I think crying does help.  I had a trigger this morning & have been crying since.  It has been over three months, but I still feel numb.  "
Thursday

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