Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 607
Latest Activity: May 13

Discussion Forum

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

Still lost and broken 2 Replies

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Pamela philipp Jan 5, 2018.

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Comment by dream moon JO B on December 30, 2018 at 2:46pm

big c is evil

dem/alz is evil

its 1s it sea luvd 1s suffer its lk we feal it to we do

yore articl  is so sweet it is so truee 

Comment by morgan on December 30, 2018 at 2:39pm

Michael, What a beautifully written,  heartfelt tribute to your wife and the impact of what death drops at the doorstep when we lose our beloved. You gave a gift to those who read your message of what the true spirit of love and purpose of living should be, including how overwhelming it is when the practicalities of life are heaped upon those whose emotional wheels have crashed into a wall.  Well done and I hope the readers of the paper take heart in what you have written......thank you for sharing it with all of us here. ........

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 30, 2018 at 2:20pm

Michael,

I just loved your article. it was so true and very touching to all of us who have to endure Christmas without our soulmate.

Comment by Michael Thompson on December 30, 2018 at 1:42pm
Comment by Pamela philipp on November 30, 2018 at 12:40pm

hi Michael I agree with all that you said it has been a little over three years since I lost my mom 9-6-15 and then the love of my life my husband on9-14-15 and I am as lost as ever we were married in august of1992 I miss him every day

Comment by dream moon JO B on November 22, 2018 at 5:07pm

sum 1 i no big c spreed to her iv new ths lady sinsess i wz 8 im 44 now

i ask why sush a sweet lovin person its 

Comment by Linda Engberg on November 7, 2018 at 5:46am

Hi Michael,

I don't think women cope any better then men and I am living proof.  Each day I wake up and I am looking at another day in Hell. I still go through this world without any meaning except for my sweet dog Babie J. Now I am going through the same thing I did with My Husband, watching this sweet girl slowly die and again I will have to deal with another grief again. I know death is a part of life but I as a person can't deal with it and never will. 

Comment by Michael Thompson on November 6, 2018 at 3:13pm

When I married for the first time in 1992 to a most beautiful lady, this was my proud day, I felt a whole person with this beautiful lady by my side.

We had 22 years together, but she died of bowel cancer in 2014, she suffered for 11 months,

Now im alone, but always very much a loner, as she was, when we met in 1991, it was instant chemistry, but now grief and stress remain taking their toll. I am in a survival mode.

I look for reasons why this beautiful lady was taken from me, knowing people are enduring the same across the western world.

Death is part of life they tell me, so if death is part of life, what are we to learn from it.?

Are we to learn that our loved one, our best friend, our rock has indeed gone to a better place ?, another place ?, or are we to learn that there is nothing after life but eternal darkness, like a long sleep.?

I'm a thinking man, and trying to get my head round that life is a journey, not a destination....

I am trying really hard to feel better in myself as a man, I am told by older ladies that I meet who are in my situation, that women cope better than men.

But I do know that the suicide rate among men who lose their wives is far greater than it is among woman.

I am living the life of a recluse now, I have always been the quiet type, unless angered, I do wear my heart on my sleeve, my wife didnt, she was quiet charming and serine.


 

Comment by Michael Thompson on October 29, 2018 at 4:08am

Hi everyone, Well ive read all the responses and can relate to everyone of them.   Till' death you do part" was spoken by the clergy when I married my lovely wife in 1992, and we expected it to go on forever, we do lets be honest, but the other saying, "we never know what's round the corner", aint that the freekin' truth.   I feel half a person, half a man, lost, and alone.  There is no pleasure in anything anymore, if there's anything to be learned, it's not to take anything for granted, no matter how rocky a marriage might be, its the priceless togetherness of two people sharing life's problems, its an adventure.  When its gone, there is no going back, your on your own for the rest of your life.....When you lose your husband or your wife, your world changes because your situation has changed.  Nobody knows what to say to you, friends think everything is okay because you seem okay, but inside your not okay..Its a hellova lesson for them, when it happens to them.

I think im the only person on this site in the UK, im an English man.  My wife and I were married 22 years, and I dont know how to start again, because im a positive person in a negative situation.  A year after my wife died, I wrote an article to my local paper about cancer from the left behind spouses point of view and paid a tribute to my wife.  If anybody would like to read it, please email me at the following address, and I will send it as an email attachment.  michaelthompson533@btinternet.com

Sincerely

Michael Thompson   

Comment by ALEXIS on October 29, 2018 at 1:02am
Hi Michael,

I can definitely relate to feeling lost. It has been a little over 2 months since I lost my husband to complications from treatment for acute myeloid leukemia. I mostly feel numb and like a part of me is missing. I go to work, have added new things to my schedule as I am no longer spending most of my free time in doctors offices or hospitals but through all of it I just feel alone. I wish I could offer something that would make this better or a coping skill that could take away this horrible feeling but I can't. For myself I am trying to acknowledge how big a hole has been ripped into the fabric of my life. Just focusing on breathing through those awful moments of awareness and then picking myself up again and trying to go on. What I didn't realize is how exhausting this is. I don't think I have ever felt more tired in my life. Sending you good wishes.
Alexis
 

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dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"thnx.............."
yesterday
Jazi replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"You are a good person. I'm sorry you are gong through this."
yesterday
dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"thnx  i no 1 day thy will get loss we got but i will not treet thm way did me "
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Jazi replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"Thank you. I am sorry people have abandoned you. "
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dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"so sorry on yore loss i no u soon lern abot frinds familyy wen it cums to a loss  u soon lern abot real frindss u do evn famllyy 1s it dont trun bac on u wen u need themm "
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Jazi replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"You said everything I am feeling right now. I am doing and thinking the same. I know it doesn't help but I am so sorry. "
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New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood

Hi everyone, I am new to the group, but not to loss. Thanks for adding me.I wanted to share an essay I wrote, "Welcome to the Freak Show: Becoming an Orphan in My 20s", that is in the New York Times today. Even though all of our experiences with grief are unique, I hope it resonates in some way.Best, KelliSee More
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Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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