Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 603
Latest Activity: Sep 25

Discussion Forum

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8.

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 7 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by Ginger Apr 17.

Still lost and broken 2 Replies

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Pamela philipp Jan 5.

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Comment by Geri on September 17, 2018 at 3:44am

Hi Everyone,

This Friday 21st September will be our 27th wedding anniversary. It is my first without my husband and I've noticed my anxiety peaking and I'm back to waking every hour. Has anyone got any advice of how to cope with all the firsts? I'm trying to do one day at a time but struggling with thoughts of Christmas and his birthday.

I miss him with such a heaviness and longing in my heart that I am unable to breathe when I cry now. I feel grief is taking me backwards where I'm questioning, bargaining and reverting to being angry again. Still questioning my purpose, why him and not me.

Comment by Linda Engberg on September 16, 2018 at 3:02pm

Hi Pamela,

So sorry about the lost of your Husband, it has been 5 years and to be truthful things are not any better. We were very close, he was my rock, now I am nothing.

Comment by Suzy Tatz on September 16, 2018 at 1:43pm

I am new to this. I lost my dad June 7 2018 to lung cancer and my fiancé on Aug. 6. 2018 to colon cancer. I was caretaker to both and now I can’t stand being in my own skin. I have the panic feelings when I am alone. So I have been self destructive. John , my fiancé, was not a drinker so I rarely drank, now I am drunk every night, I have been sleeping with his best friend and I am just a mess. I miss them both so much but John was my true soulmate. Did anyone else go down this road? How do you get out of it. Everyone tells me I m the strongest person they know, I don’t feel it right now. I can’t get myself to just feel. I have no clue who I am because the last 6 years was all about John. 

Comment by Pamela philipp on September 13, 2018 at 2:30pm

tomorrow September 14th 2018 will be three years since I lost my husband and I feel just as lost and broken as I did the day he left I miss him so much life is so empty without him no amount of time will ever ease the heartbreak I feel every day I still cry myself to sleep every night I am alone and I just don't understand why I'm still here as more time goes by the more I don't want to be here  

Comment by Michael Thompson on July 19, 2018 at 4:00am

Hello everybody.  Roughly a year after my wife died of Bowel Cancer following a 22 year marriage, we married in 1992, my wife died in 2014, I decided to write an article to my local paper about grief from the left behind spouses point of view, whilst also playing tribute to my late wife, Pamela Ann Thompson.  I released before I started writing that I had to write my article in such a way as to not take away the fact that the person lying in the hospital bed was the real victim here.  This article came about because on visiting my wife, irrespective of other visitors, friends family ect, that may have been there also, just how lonely, isolated, and alone I felt as my wife's husband, and so I just knew I had to write to my local paper about how losing a wife or a husband affects those left behind.  Here is that article, with a picture of my late wife, and the little Yorkie on her lap remains with me.  

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 20, 2018 at 6:28am

Trina,

I agree with your post, that I will not be reunited with my Husband

Julian if I take my own live and I would devastate my family.

All we can do is wait for our time to come, which I hope is soon.  

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 19, 2018 at 12:54pm

Linda, these simple words say it all. Love for our departed soulmate is what creates grief. Thanks for posting.

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 19, 2018 at 6:15am

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 18, 2018 at 6:05pm

On the topic of suicide, there are two reasons that I have not contemplated taking my own life. One of them is that I cannot allow myself to leave my loved ones to deal with the trauma and heartbreak if I were to commit suicide. In my opinion, it would be unconscionable to do so. And the other reason is that in my faith too, suicide would bar me from reuniting with Joseph. I simply CANNOT run that risk. It is already hell on earth for me, I don't want to jeopardize my afterlife, my eternal life with Joseph by taking my own life. I'll just have to be patient and live out this sorry existence to the end.

I am only too aware that a just and loving God would not punish His/Her creation by disallowing us reunion with our loved one/s in the afterlife, but if God were always just and loving, He/She would not subject us to the kind of spiritual and emotional torture that we-- members on this site--experience daily, and neither would there be war, poverty, famine, child mortality, and a disease like cancer. Therefore, I simply cannot run the risk of committing suicide and take away the possibility of meeting up with Joseph when I die. I can't wait for that day when I will join my beloved darling Joseph on the other side! Please God, let it come soon!

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 18, 2018 at 5:51pm

Dear Geraldine,

Very sorry to hear that you are having another anxiety-filled day. Lately, I am having more of the depression attacks, with more frequency and more intensity. This living hell is just unbearable! When will this all end? 

Sending you vibes of comfort and prayers for your peace.

Hugs, Trina

 

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Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No, she didn't everyone, good or bad, dies. Few people have an easy death."
32 minutes ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Wow Avi I believe in karma but I’m not sure that your mom has done anything wrong present or past that would make her have gotten that disease"
2 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks Theressa. Yes hope the questions will be answered. In my country, lot of importance is given to Karma and it is believed that whatever you sow and you will reap the same. Not sure how this karma cycle is analyzed and who decided if this was a…"
3 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes Avi That’s what we all have to do we have to go on with our lives it’s so much easier said than done I cry sometimes uncontrollably I have hope that one day every question or any uncertainty we have will be answered"
3 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Guys it is completely 1 year when my mother's cancer was detected. I hope I can go back in time and change everything but I can only live with it. "
3 hours ago
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Same Brett, yesterday out of the blue driving home from work I burst into tears saying mom why didn't you wait for me to get there before you went in cardiac arrest, well now isn't that stupid on my part.   I feel that I am a…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'll keep going though. I'll keep praying. I'll keep putting one foot in front of the other, but I do not seem to get anywhere. I will always pray for a wink or a nod. Just something to let me know that the Lord is walking with…"
9 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Guys, my heart is just broken. So broken. It's not because of some kind of change. It's just three years of sadness that continues to pull me down, and makes me feel that there is very little hope. I am a very spiritual person. When lie…"
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bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you for your response, and for providing the link to your post about your NDE as well as describing it in more detail here. Although it's terrible that you were in that accident, in a way it was a blessing for you, in that it allows…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, your post made me cry because I also feel similar.  I wish you all strength "
Sunday
Bern commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"2012 September 30th. This fight is real. My only son was shot in the head. The girl and her brother were in the house when it happened. The told police that they were playing with the gun. Well a sister and brother will die and go to hell or heaven…"
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Judy sometimes I feel the same way...why do some who don't deserve to live get to while our kids didn't.  And sometimes when I hear others use that word, "miracle" it upsets me too."
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie forgive me if I screw this up but the line, "Don't cry for me, cause I live in eternity" runs through me head all the time."
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie what a beautiful gift!!!!! That was Daniel, letting you know he's there. "
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Ginger I left all my sons pictures right where they were I need to see them. "
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"It's been a while since I've checked in.  I'm actually melting down right now. Don't know what brought it on but can't seem to stop.  I miss everyone and think of all of you all the time.  Michael's…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, a few lost minutes cannot compete with a lifetime of love that you shared with your mom."
Friday
Lia Lynch commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi there.  Brett, you were (are) totally right -- I was and think I still am in shock. There was so much to do, and with my kid to take care of, I wasn't processing. At all. Still not. I didn't get to say goodbye.  She was in a…"
Friday

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