Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 606
Latest Activity: Nov 30

Discussion Forum

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8.

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 7 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by Ginger Apr 17.

Still lost and broken 2 Replies

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Pamela philipp Jan 5.

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Comment by Marilea on October 27, 2018 at 4:31pm
Hello everyone.
I'm new on this site and hope it will help with the greif.first let me say how sorry I am that each and everyone of you has lost a loved one to cancer.
My dad was diagnosed with liver cancer in October 2017 and passed away February 2018.
I was a huge daddy's girl for all of my 57 years of life. I miss him so much. Every minute of every day. I cry often and feel depressed at times. I live in Az and dont know if any of you live in my state to where we could meet and help with the grief.
It's very overwhelming most of the time.
Comment by Geri on September 17, 2018 at 3:44am

Hi Everyone,

This Friday 21st September will be our 27th wedding anniversary. It is my first without my husband and I've noticed my anxiety peaking and I'm back to waking every hour. Has anyone got any advice of how to cope with all the firsts? I'm trying to do one day at a time but struggling with thoughts of Christmas and his birthday.

I miss him with such a heaviness and longing in my heart that I am unable to breathe when I cry now. I feel grief is taking me backwards where I'm questioning, bargaining and reverting to being angry again. Still questioning my purpose, why him and not me.

Comment by Linda Engberg on September 16, 2018 at 3:02pm

Hi Pamela,

So sorry about the lost of your Husband, it has been 5 years and to be truthful things are not any better. We were very close, he was my rock, now I am nothing.

Comment by Suzy Tatz on September 16, 2018 at 1:43pm

I am new to this. I lost my dad June 7 2018 to lung cancer and my fiancé on Aug. 6. 2018 to colon cancer. I was caretaker to both and now I can’t stand being in my own skin. I have the panic feelings when I am alone. So I have been self destructive. John , my fiancé, was not a drinker so I rarely drank, now I am drunk every night, I have been sleeping with his best friend and I am just a mess. I miss them both so much but John was my true soulmate. Did anyone else go down this road? How do you get out of it. Everyone tells me I m the strongest person they know, I don’t feel it right now. I can’t get myself to just feel. I have no clue who I am because the last 6 years was all about John. 

Comment by Pamela philipp on September 13, 2018 at 2:30pm

tomorrow September 14th 2018 will be three years since I lost my husband and I feel just as lost and broken as I did the day he left I miss him so much life is so empty without him no amount of time will ever ease the heartbreak I feel every day I still cry myself to sleep every night I am alone and I just don't understand why I'm still here as more time goes by the more I don't want to be here  

Comment by Michael Thompson on July 19, 2018 at 4:00am

Hello everybody.  Roughly a year after my wife died of Bowel Cancer following a 22 year marriage, we married in 1992, my wife died in 2014, I decided to write an article to my local paper about grief from the left behind spouses point of view, whilst also playing tribute to my late wife, Pamela Ann Thompson.  I released before I started writing that I had to write my article in such a way as to not take away the fact that the person lying in the hospital bed was the real victim here.  This article came about because on visiting my wife, irrespective of other visitors, friends family ect, that may have been there also, just how lonely, isolated, and alone I felt as my wife's husband, and so I just knew I had to write to my local paper about how losing a wife or a husband affects those left behind.  Here is that article, with a picture of my late wife, and the little Yorkie on her lap remains with me.  

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 20, 2018 at 6:28am

Trina,

I agree with your post, that I will not be reunited with my Husband

Julian if I take my own live and I would devastate my family.

All we can do is wait for our time to come, which I hope is soon.  

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 19, 2018 at 12:54pm

Linda, these simple words say it all. Love for our departed soulmate is what creates grief. Thanks for posting.

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 19, 2018 at 6:15am

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 18, 2018 at 6:05pm

On the topic of suicide, there are two reasons that I have not contemplated taking my own life. One of them is that I cannot allow myself to leave my loved ones to deal with the trauma and heartbreak if I were to commit suicide. In my opinion, it would be unconscionable to do so. And the other reason is that in my faith too, suicide would bar me from reuniting with Joseph. I simply CANNOT run that risk. It is already hell on earth for me, I don't want to jeopardize my afterlife, my eternal life with Joseph by taking my own life. I'll just have to be patient and live out this sorry existence to the end.

I am only too aware that a just and loving God would not punish His/Her creation by disallowing us reunion with our loved one/s in the afterlife, but if God were always just and loving, He/She would not subject us to the kind of spiritual and emotional torture that we-- members on this site--experience daily, and neither would there be war, poverty, famine, child mortality, and a disease like cancer. Therefore, I simply cannot run the risk of committing suicide and take away the possibility of meeting up with Joseph when I die. I can't wait for that day when I will join my beloved darling Joseph on the other side! Please God, let it come soon!

 

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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, Thank you for your post. I like Morgan gave me a lift. I have often thought about suicide but have no intention of doing away with myself because of my religion. I will not take the chance of never seeing Julian again I too do not go to the…"
9 minutes ago
Aimee Hall Fuszard joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
7 hours ago
Aimee Hall Fuszard updated their profile photo
7 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Joe for your posts. In a weird way it gives me a lift.  How?  Because I know that I am not making up how hard this suffering is.   My closest friend and sibling also know how I feel about dying and I know I would not have to…"
8 hours ago
Monty commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"joe that is incredible. thanks for the time and energy sharing. i think ill look at some of your suggestions and see what will work for me. for me this week has been hard. 1 week until first anniversary of her death, i don't know what to…"
10 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Read second post first Morgan. Had to break it up into two parts and did it backwards."
12 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
""As the years are passing I feel the need more and more." When I read some of you guys suffering so long, it gives me great fear that despite my health neglect, and legal preparations, I don't know when it will actually come to…"
12 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, "I read your words and it brings me to my knees."  I keep asking God to let me go many times a day.  I tell Him/Her/It that I will never relent until my prayer is answered.  I ask my love to keep asking too and have…"
12 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Bluebird for nice comment about my Julian. He was so caring and was my rock. Being with him for 24/7 for 13 years of our retirement was bliss, I thank God for this time together.  Morgan & Joe I keep believing there is eternal love…"
16 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I read your words and it brings me to my knees.  I so want to join my husband.  As the years are passing I feel the need more and more.  I am not sure I understand totally how your OBE has given you more faith that somehow we…"
17 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Pamela, you are grieving for your mother. You may not be able to see it but I can. My father was horrible. I did not grieve his death. I barely gave it a second thought. You are grieving your mom, and you are grieving the way things were. The advice…"
17 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, Your Julian looks like such a nice man in that photo; what a lovely smile! Joe, Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope you are right."
20 hours ago
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I lost my mother on 9-6-15 eight days before I lost my husband on 9-14-15 and I feel horrible because I am struggling with how I am grieving for my mother because we had a very strained relationship because my mother was an alcoholic all her life…"
20 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Bluebird, It is impossible for us to know for absolutely sure what exactly happens when we die.  Oh, how I would love her to appear before me and tell me she's here and waiting for me, but I also know that she can't do that…"
22 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Bluebird, I am so glad that the folks on this forum feel the same way I do. Society is always trying to label people, if we don't agree with them they think we are weird or crazy. My sweet Husband Julian taught me to ignore what other people…"
23 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Sorry, I meant Linda and Monty and Joe."
yesterday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I fully agree with you both, Linda and Monty. My deep and abiding grief is the only response I could possibly have to my husband's death. My soulmate was torn from me, and I don't know if his wonderful soul still exists, or if I will ever…"
yesterday
Daylight commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Avi, it would be nice to have a friend. The time gap is big but we can agree on a time to talk. Keeping busy also functions for me. Anyways, as soon as I have free time the thoughts and feelings came back and grief hits so hard. I wish you have a…"
yesterday
Daylight commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M Adams , I hope this feeling of desolation lessens in time. It is an extremely hard process. Unbearable at times. I hope you are doing well."
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Daylight India is 8.30 hours ahead of Argentina. We can talk at your early morning whenever you want.  Feeling of desolation still exists for me but I try to be strong and do things (work, travel, eating etc) with sincerity. "
yesterday

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