Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

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Latest Activity: Aug 23

Discussion Forum

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

Still lost and broken 2 Replies

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Pamela philipp Jan 5, 2018.

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Comment by Debbie S on June 7, 2012 at 1:18am

Here it is 1:15am and another sleepless night. I lay here and think of all the happy times we shared but the tears keep flowing. I have never had someone I loved so much pass away before. So confused and lost.

 

Comment by Mary M. on June 6, 2012 at 11:09pm

Debbie, I can relate, I have also had trouble sleeping and have to make myself leave the house to do what I have to do.  My family seems to think I should be able to get on with living but somehow I can't.  My friends have been very supportive but I feel guilty calling them or crying on their shoulders whenever they come by.  So far I have been unable to locate a grief support group in my area .. just keep being told they will start again in the fall.  I am here for you if you want to talk.  

Comment by Debbie S on June 6, 2012 at 10:31pm

Karen, I'm sorry for your loss but you comment about Debra's helps me so much. My soulmate passed away just 3 months ago. Like you said my grief has gotten worse. I find myself so lost and missing him more everyday. I still can't sleep at night and don't want to leave my house. I am tired of hearing peoole telling me time heals or I know how you feel. I'm sorry but if you haven't lost the love of your life..... then no you don't know. I've been looking for a greif support that gets together. I feel like my friends get tired of me crying to them. Just so lonely now.

Comment by Kim Phillips on June 6, 2012 at 8:11pm

I just don't know how much one person can take.  I lost my grandmother a year ago, my best friend/soulmate 3 weeks ago and now my aunt has a few months to live.  Cancer is such a monster.  People dump all this money into cancer society and still...... people are dying at high rates of cancer. 

 

Comment by michael sandoval on June 2, 2012 at 11:04am

Dear Maura,

It's been alsmot 3 years for me and it absolutely does not get easier or better.  We just learn to deal with it.  I still cry, I still get flashbacks, I still tear up at anytime when i hear that song, or pass our favorite spot, or think of something special we did.  I miss my Denise, life will never be the same.

Comment by joni on June 1, 2012 at 8:19pm
Hi all.... To Karen w , yes you are right! My husband loved life to the fullest... And for would want me to live fully...and I know I will go through this process with everyone's help here and Gods help .....thank you .....love hugs and prayers ,joni
Comment by Karen Waldrop on May 31, 2012 at 10:14pm

Debra, I believe it was you who said that you experienced the worst grief after the 3rd month. I have found that my grief worsened in the 3rd + months as well. I think that is because that is the time that the people that had surrounded you with outpourings of support go back to their normal routines, you have finished up taking care of the business of death, and all you are left with are your feelings. You are right, the numbness wears off. The reality of your new life sets in and leaves you with overwhelming feelings of lonliness and loss. At times it is very difficult to get past these feelings. It would be very easy to stay in bed, to not face the days. However, each day that I wake up, I think about the gifts that my husband left me, and there are many, but none more precious than my sons. Those things drive me to continue to move forward, to make the most of the life that I have left and encourage my boys to do the same. I owe it to them. I do believe that each day will continue that each day will continue to get better and easier to deal with. My husband will always be a part of my life, the love of my life, but it will get better. 

Comment by Maura Simms on May 31, 2012 at 9:14pm

Hi Anna, its funny to hear someone talk about hockey, let alone know what it is down here in Louisiana.  Don't know how I'm going to sell those snow shoes or skis here!  Yeah, its great to think about the routines we created with our soul mates; Friday night dinners, tail gating on the back of the pickup, (with my own queen stadium chair), Sunday morning breakfast, eggs and hash; its really refreshing to hear your story too!  Good for you, don't forget the good feelings it brought. 

Comment by anna l. on May 31, 2012 at 8:53pm

Jeanne you are so right.  My last meltdown was last night while on the phone with a dear long distance friend.  My call waiting starting beeping and I said to my friend, I will call my sister back later.  If it is good news it will still be good news and if its bad, it wont get worse"  As the last words left my mouth I started to sob.  That is what my husband used to say when our grown children would ask where we where going for our weekend get-away.  We liked to Friday night just throw a few things in a bag and take off to a bigger city near us.  We would go out for dinner, take in a movie or hockey game, and spend the night in any number of nice motels.  It was our time.  No distractions.  Just writing this has started the tears.  I miss him and our time together so much.  I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea I have to live without him. 

Comment by Maura Simms on May 31, 2012 at 8:12pm

Thank you so much Jeanne Potter; I hear you!  I hope we get to a better place together!

 

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6 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Saturday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi AllHope you all are doing great. I felt really discomfort yesterday, not sure why. I remembered my mother and talked to her, felt better. Sometimes I feel she is around. "
Saturday
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Matthew is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"evry now agan i still loss my way i do"
Sep 12
Kim Darichuk is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 11
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.  God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
Sep 11
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan, Thanks so very much for your supportive letter. Sorry i didn't see it before. I replied to it just now, Sending you love and good wishes."
Sep 10
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
Sep 10
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her.  Like yesterday, I found a small  3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
Sep 9
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me. Joe,  So true.  That's exactly why I post here too.  I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone.  That consoles…"
Sep 9
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello All, I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
Sep 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all.  Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
Sep 9
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Once again I want to Thank You for sharing you thoughts with us. You put into words the things I don't know how to express."
Sep 9
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
Sep 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T,   I saw your post late late last night.  I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing.  After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
Sep 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.  Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
Sep 8
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, We are blessed to have this wonderful group to come to and share our grief."
Sep 8

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